We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kirsten Anatone. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kirsten below.
Hi Kirsten, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
What an interesting question! When I think of the qualities or characteristics that I hope to display most, confidence and self-esteem, strangely enough aren’t the first things that come to mind. Since changing careers my outlook on relationships and human interaction has drastically changed—in the last few years, I’m learning how much people just want to be seen, heard, and feel like they’re valued. I come from an academic background and spent nearly a decade in the university system. For a long time I struggled with feeling like I had to be the smartest person in the room, or had to completely upend current scholarship with my own ideas. I was desperately trying to prove myself and frequently used my music, research, and education as a veil for my lack of confidence and self-esteem. During the height of the pandemic, I decided to switch careers which completely turned my world and worldview, upside down.
I think it’s easy to confuse intentional interest for confidence. Maybe there’s some overlap, but I’m learning how starved we are for human connection. There is so much relational power in just sitting, looking someone in the eye, and listening to what they’re sharing. Ask questions! People are far more interesting than they often allow others to see, or perhaps even see in themselves. So why not be the person to help them realize how interesting they are? While I may seem “confident” to some people, I really just try to be intentional about taking interest in others. Since reframing my approach, all of my relationships have changed. People are so much more than professors, bosses, supervisors, colleagues, etc. They’re human. And once we can begin to see them for who they are, rather than just their job title or credentials, suddenly it’s easier to connect.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
At the moment, I’m wearing a few different hats, but in every role music is central. What a gift.
I’m originally from Indiana, but am now located in Maryland and am the Director of Programs for Warrior Music Foundation (WMF); a non-profit organization that aims to reduce suicide in the military community by providing free music therapy and music lessons to active-duty military, veterans, and their families. WMF’s services are in high demand, which speaks to the efficacy of the program and further substantiates just how impactful music therapy really is. In addition to our individual music lesson and music therapy programs, WMF offers a variety of other services, including weekly virtual group music therapy sessions, quarterly songwriting retreats (one of our cornerstone programs), recital and other performance opportunities, and concerts. If you’re interested in partnering with the foundation, please visit our website to learn more about our mission and how we’re saving lives.
I’m a board-certified music therapist (MT-BC) and in addition to my role as Director of Programs, I have a private caseload of music therapy clients that I work with through the foundation. A lot of people aren’t familiar with music therapy, but it’s the evidence-based practice of using music to achieve non-musical goals. While individual clients each have their own treatment plans, therapeutic goals and objectives often aim to: improve communication skills including expressive and receptive communication via musical improvisations, songwriting, and lyric analysis; improve cognitive skills by creating musical mnemonics for everyday information; increase creativity and self-expression during group drumming recitals and songwriting; reduce social isolation and increase interpersonal connection by providing opportunities for song sharing; decrease symptoms of anxiety via music and guided imagery; improve coping skills by creating customized music playlists; and so many more!
Due to my work with WMF, I really fell in love with the mental health side of music therapy work. In addition to my private caseload with the foundation, I also work for Avenues Recovery Center; a 60-day inpatient addiction recovery clinic. I’ve met so many incredible people through this work, between clients and staff alike. It’s such a privilege to be a small (musical!) part of an individual’s recovery.
Lastly, I’m in the final stages of writing my dissertation for a PhD in Historical Musicology at the University of Cincinnati, College-Conservatory of Music. My work largely examines the activities of music clubs and organizations in Boston ca. 1900-1935, and how they helped to create an American musical identity. It’s been a long and arduous process, but alas I’m beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel! I’m pacing to have a complete draft finished by the end of the 2023 calendar year and plan to defend in Spring 2024.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Any musician knows the type of work that goes into developing and nurturing their craft. When it comes to three qualities that remain most impactful in my own personal and professional journey, I would say: resilience, discipline, and contentment. Rejection is an enormous part of a musician’s life and I’ve faced considerable amounts of rejection throughout my life. It’s tough and can be easy to wallow, but it’s precisely in the rejection that we can begin to practice resiliency and disciplined consistency. It’s in those moments when we have the choice to either to shut everything down, or revisit, regroup, re-work, and try again.
As difficult as rejection might be, I also believe that it can make success that much more dangerous–once we’ve tasted victory or received that all-too-desired acceptance letter, it’s really easy to immediately begin pursuing the next venture. That next opportunity for success. In my own experience, I’ve often glossed over the very victory that I relentlessly pursued for months, even years, prior. We always shift the goal post in our own lives, which is why I think it’s so important to practice contentment. I recently listened to Dr. John Delony’s podcast and he spoke on this very subject–how we so often fill our lives with pursuits that eventually we’re drowning in self-inflicted anxiety. If we can’t determine what “enough” looks like in our lives; enough work, enough stuff, enough money, enough auditions and academic papers out for review, enough relationships, etc, then the answer will always be “more.” When I take a step back and survey all corners of my life, I realize, it’s enough. Suddenly, that urgent desire to crank out one more grant application after a long day at work diminishes. And instead, I go for a walk with my knucklehead dog.
Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
Simply put, I wouldn’t have developed the aforementioned qualities and beliefs without my mom and dad. As I’ve gotten older I’m starting to see my parents as not only “mom and dad,” but people. And what a gift that is.
Now that I’m a little older, I’m starting to grasp just how much they invested in myself and my siblings. Their support. Their sacrifice. And their generosity, in every sense of the word. Growing up, I don’t remember a single concert where at least one of them wasn’t in the audience, even if it meant driving two hours to the performance after a long day at work, to only go back home afterwards. In the tearful aftermath of every rejection their support continued, whether in the form of a phone call from dad where he assured me, “it’ll be alright, kid,” or mom taking me out for lunch and some retail therapy to distract my mind.
Looking back on my childhood, I know there were times when finances were tight, but I never felt unsure or that we were “in want.” Through sacrifice, discipline, and teaching contentment, mom and dad gave us everything. For all the times I’ve heard them say, “I’m proud of you,” I’d like to take this moment to turn that around.
Mom and dad, I’m so proud of you.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.warriormusicfoundation.org
- Instagram: kirsten_anatone
- Linkedin: Kirsten Anatone
