We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kiva Siani a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Kiva, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
Purpose is such a funny thing, isn’t it? Like, not everyone gets there, do they? I’ve always been so fascinated by those people who start right out with a goal, have laser focus, and can stick it out…. like, when did they develop this knowing? In the womb? Does it stay the same for life for them?
At 45, I think I get that, for most of us, we fall into purpose. It finds its way to us. It is sometimes very clear and other times so vague that you are just acting on instinct. I have that mostly, it shifts; it broadens and narrows; it revs up, dies, jumps the shark… Sometimes what happens to purpose is more, sinister.. maybe too harsh a descriptor, but like, we can self-sabotage our purpose, it can be overshadowed by ugly acts of ours, or maybe someone else does it. Our purpose can be co-opted, or commercialized to the point that the point is lost. …..
…..and I guess my point is that I am not one of those people with the laser focus, I have had so many of the above scenarios happen to whatever I thought was my purpose at the time, and I find myself feeling like I am starting over a lot. For me, my purposes have been momentary and they more so find me. But they only find me because I am almost always open to what the next experience is.
Like my performance acts, my life is not tightly choreographed, in fact, the more I try to set out to do a particular thing, often even the most aligned scenarios have fallen to pieces. I sometimes refer to myself as a catalyst: the thing that sets off the reaction.
My purpose is to be the thing needed at the moment. My purpose is to raise my kids and be the most honest and best example of a full life for them. My purpose is to be the best, most authentic friend, daughter, lover, colleague… the very best, most authentic me, so that others can be their best, most authentic them… And I didn’t find that. I don’t know any other way.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Sooo… I am most well-known as a striptease artist in the burlesque world and I make most of my living as a massage therapist. The thing I don’t use is the Bachelor’s degree in journalism that I am still paying for… oh wait, that’s not true. I just started a podcast.
So let’s see, that’s the podcast- The Kiki and Kiva Show. Kiva Siani- the performer, The Sensual Mother- my well-woman, spiritual space. Falling at Forty- my budding authentic living,astrology coaching … And I’m a single mom… what am I doing to myself???!!!
No really, I have always been a person who wears many hats and I’m excited about so many doors that are opening up at this moment as I’m working on pulling these worlds of mine together; my art and healing. It’s exciting because I have always had this affinity for the sensual as it relates to living authentically and how that can lead to wellness and a full and realized life.
This moment is about grants, prepping for summer in Europe, and gearing up this podcast. I am still hold circles periodically, and producing a bit, too.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I actually consulted my best friend for this one because I have so many things that have impacted me.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention sensuality, since it’s my brand. Sensuality, tho, is not necessarily about sex or sexiness. All these things exist with or without each other. Sensuality refers to the pleasure taken in the ignited senses. I don’t think I could do what I do if I didn’t revel in my feelings and experiences. I think that is about practicing being comfortable with being uncomfortable. And in turn you learn about your comforts. And please note that the SENSES go beyond the top five we all acknoweledge.
Movement is one that my bestie came to that matches mine… and I rather enjoyed and agreed with her expanded definition, so I’m gonna use it for this. Movement. The obvious application is dance; striptease, hula, or just getting it in on the dancefloor. This practice is so important to me. Stretching, massage and energy work is about moving out pain, blockages. Communication, education, and pontification are the movement of ideas and knowledge… Growth is movement. Travel is movement. Persisting in the face of negativity is movement. I use movement to process my inner world.
The last thing is my endless curiousity. This has led me down some interesting paths, but has also taught me to trust my intuition and not what I am being told. I am not afraid to ask questions, to challenge the status quo, or point out the elephant in the room. I get stuck on a subject, hold random facts… eventually, I’m able to use them in some fashion. My library is vast, but still now big eough for me. My kids are funny, they treat me like I know everything… and I am a little bit of a Know-it-all… which can be annoying even to myself. It;s hard to unknow something tho… and once you know and understand it, you apply it to your life, if it’s applicable.
Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?
Learning to honor my limits, especially in terms of how much of myself I give away and with a very low return rate. It’s hard. I’m still learning. I am so open to tips in this department.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @kivasiani
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000247445699
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kiva-siani-fka-sheila-starr-9b47709b/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi05_7W4Pp4ssFtjrOV_Qgw
- Other: www.linktr.ee/kivasiani
Image Credits
1)Fabien Castro 2) Miss Prys 3&4) Dolly Ross 5) Krysten Resnick 6&7) 1000 Secret words photography, 8)Meredith Carlson
