We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Laura Ray a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Laura, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Confidence and self-esteem are not things that come naturally to me. I’ve had to work hard over the years to overcome doubts and insecurities in many areas of my life, but especially in my musicianship. In my mind, I had been a pretty good musician growing up in my small town. After moving to Nashville, I started comparing myself to the pickers around me, and I used to feel down and hopeless that I couldn’t just automatically play the way they did, and my confidence took a major hit for a few years.
The first step towards regaining my confidence was simple – a good dose of humility. How did I expect to just be good without putting in the work? When I learned to critically listen to what I was playing and not feel sorry for myself that it didn’t match other players, but to just try to pinpoint what I didn’t like or what needed work, things changed. I put in the hours to see improvement in those areas, and with that came a lot of confidence in what I COULD do, which pushed aside the lack of confidence in what I WISHED I could do. Humbling myself to go back to square one with some basic techniques was one of the best things I ever did. Can I play banjo like Bela Fleck or Alison Brown, or will I ever? No, and not likely. Is there technique and skill I can learn from them to improve on the talent I do have? Absolutely. Listening not to compare, but to learn, has been a great confidence builder for me. Having a humble mindset and a consistent work ethic has built my confidence back up a surprising amount. Is the issue of confidence and self esteem solved? Oh no. It’s a work in progress, like my playing. I still have ups and downs regularly with it, but I think everyone does, and remembering that really helps too.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am a multi-instrumentalist and have had the opportunity to play guitar, banjo and sing background vocals with a wide variety of artists, including Americana artist Aaron Burdett and American Idol alum Grace Leer. I am currently touring with female fronted bluegrass band Thunder and Rain, and we will be releasing new music in October 2023.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Three qualities I’ve developed over the years that have helped me on my journey:
1. The ability to listen. Listen critically to yourself and be real about where you are and what needs improving, listen to advice or critique from others, and also be willing to hear and acknowledge what you’re doing well. Listening out for improvements is a great confidence builder.
2. Put in the work. It’s easy for me to go down a Youtube rabbit hole when I’m supposed to be practicing, or as an introvert, choose to stay home instead of going to a jam or an event that would grow peer relationships. Having the willpower to make better choices with my time is something I am constantly working on.
3. Humble confidence. Being humble enough to recognize mistakes and areas for growth, but confident enough to fix, overcome, and represent myself proudly.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When I feel overwhelmed, one of the best things I can do is take a break. Completely distract myself from the thing that’s overwhelming me for an afternoon, or a couple of days, depending on what the issue is. I’ve talked a lot about working hard and putting in the hours, but there is a healthy level of that that’s very easy to go over. Take care of your physical and mental health. Go work out, go for a walk, go to the movies. Give yourself a break, but don’t give up. Get back to it after you rest. Balance is everything.
Contact Info:
- Website: lauraraymusic.com
- Instagram: @lauraray88
- Other: https://thunderandrainmusic.com/
