Meet Linda Bonnar

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Linda Bonnar a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Linda, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Having an eating disorder can completely destroy your confidence and self-esteem and that’s exactly what Anorexia did to me.

I made three key changes in my life that helped me develop the confidence and self-esteem I have today:

1. I changed my story: As a young girl at the age of 11, I started to tell myself the story that if I was thinner I would be considered more beautiful and if I was more beautiful then I would be happier. Knowing now how important the stories we tell ourselves are, it makes perfect sense that I ended up punishing my body for as long as I did because I was trapped in that unhelpful and unhealthy story. Slowly, but surely, I started to see how that story actually held me back instead of empowering me so I knew something had to change. I stopped the “When I’m thinner, I’ll be happier” story, and rewrote something more helpful, healthy and powerful.

2. I started actively loving my body: Learning to love, respect and appreciate my body was a huge turning point in my life. Over the years, I’ve gone from starving, criticising and hating my body, to nourishing, praising and adorning it in a way that works for me. I’ve gone from using exercise as a way to control my body to using it as a way to strengthen my body.

3. I compliment instead of compare: It’s incredible what happens when we stop comparing ourselves to others; when we recognise our worth and are confident about what we bring to the table. When we start to compliment others for what they’re achieving in the world instead of comparing ourselves unfairly, our whole attitude changes, and of course, the story changes as a result. We move from that mindset of lack to one of, “Oh actually, there’s enough brilliance for everyone where!”

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
You know, one of the many great things about being a teacher was that when people asked what you do, you had a really succinct answer that everyone understood! Now that I wear a few different hats, I like to introduce myself as working in Personal Development and go from there… so here we go…

Under the umbrella of Personal Development, I work as a personal & corporate coach, I’m the author of two coaching books (Press Play & Just Three Things), and I’m also the co-founder of the wellbeing app for schools and organisations, Upstrive. While that might all sound like I spread myself thin, and yes, life is busy, I could never see myself doing just one job at all– I have my own just three things!

One of the roles I’m most passionate about is being co-founder and Director of Content at Upstrive because of the purpose and story behind it. My mission has always been to make a positive difference in the world, whether that was putting glitter all over my plain pencil case as a child, working with the unruly ponies in the yard as a young girl, or helping a student move from a D grade to a C grade in their History exam.

Being a teacher for 15 years, I saw how stressed my students were and how challenging life was for them, which prompted me to write my coaching book for teenagers when I left teaching. Now while my book is great and I’m super proud of it, one of my friends at the time said to me, “Young people don’t read books, if you want to reach them you need an app”. And of course, I was quick to tell him that I didn’t have a secret $250,000 hiding in some back account somewhere to create this wonderful app. Plus I was getting ready to make an international move to NYC so I needed every cent I had.

However, sometimes we meet people who have more faith in us than we have in ourselves and also more money too! My friend got together a developer and designer and they started working on what Press Play could look like as an app. Our idea quickly grew legs and long story short, we created Upstrive: a wellbeing app designed to equip young people with the skills, tools and knowledge to drive their own success. We are so proud to say that we currently have 20,000 students using the app so far in schools around the world and we’re launching our B2C version in Spring.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Resilience. Through my recent diploma in Positive Psychology, I discovered that resilience, at its very core, isn’t simply “bouncing back”, it’s about growing through what you go through. I learned resilience at a very young age, without even knowing what it was: I knew that whenever I fell off a horse, I had to get back up again. And I did. And every time you get back up you have an opportunity to learn, grow, do better and be better. We all have a choice in how we deal with what life decides to throw at us. I chose to get back up, even if that sometimes meant asking for a leg-up too.

2. Managing My Mind: As part of my recovery from Anorexia, Anxiety and Depression, I worked with an incredible therapist who taught me one of the most valuable skills I have ever learned: mind management. As we worked through a list of thinking traps and she taught me how to challenge my thinking, I remember asking her, why are we never taught this as students instead of (insert subject of choice that you don’t use today!) Learning how to challenge my irrational thoughts continues to serve me today and I would be lost without that skill.

3. Asking More & Better Questions: On the third weekend of a Master NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming Course) one of my trainers called me aside and said I would help myself better by asking more and better questions. You see, when we ask our brain a question it will do it’s very best to give us an answer. But there’s a huge difference between asking ourselves, “Why am I late again?”, compared to, “What have I got to do differently to get out the door at 10 am?” Better questions give us better answers; they are solution-focused and action-oriented and that’s empowering.

For folks who are early in their journey, one thing I always recommend is making change as simple as you can for themselves. We might tell ourselves the story that we have to make huge changes to have a huge impact, when really if we focus on making even the tiniest of changes and we’re consistent in our application, we will experience that powerful impact we’re seeking. Ask yourself, what’s just one thing you would benefit from stopping, one thing you would benefit from starting and one thing you can continue doing to take you closer to what you want and where you want to be?

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
It’s time; it’s always time!

I love all the projects I currently have on my plate (and marathon training will start again shortly too!) and I won’t drop any of them. While I’ve gotten much better at this relationship, I’m still a work in progress. But one thing I am doing to resolve or overcome this challenge is being more aware of the following things:

1. How I think about time
2. How I talk about time
3. What I say yes to
4. What I say no to
5. Being aware of how I’m spending my time

I check in with myself regularly throughout the day to see how I’m spending my time; asking myself what’s urgent and important right now. I’ve started saying no to more things that I just don’t want to do which can be challenging in itself, but extremely empowering too.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
I have all the rights to use these images

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Highlighter Series
Local Highlighter Series

We are so thrilled to be able to connect with some of the brightest and

Highlighter Series
Who taught you the most about work?

Society has its myths about where we learn – internships, books, school, etc. However, in

Highlighter Series
If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?

We asked some of the wisest people we know what they would tell their younger