We were lucky to catch up with Lisa Apple recently and have shared our conversation below.
Lisa , thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
Resilience
By Lisa Apple
“The hard is what makes it great.” A quote said by Tom Hanks’ character in one of my all-time favorite movies, A League of Their Own. In the scene Tom Hanks is trying to get Geena Davis’ character not to quit baseball. Her reason for quitting was ‘it just got too hard’, and he curtly responds, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.”
We are all born with the capacity to be resilient – to endure the ‘hard’. Our resiliency muscles are built over time. One challenging experience after another grows our ability to adapt and keep going. Until you experience some real heartache and pain, it is difficult to conceptualize how the ‘hard’ in life can make it, in fact, great. But it can.
My parents divorced when I was in middle school, and a series of painful events continued throughout my childhood. Looking back, I realize these events combined with loving adults in my life are what pulled me through these challenging years. The comradery of my siblings, the love of my parents, along with my youth pastor and his wife, my dance instructor and choir teacher were the support system I needed. At a very early age I found God, and I was confident that there had to be more to this life than what I could see. I felt protected when I didn’t feel safe. I felt loved when I didn’t know how to love myself. I felt strong even when I was a weak child. God built in me a resiliency through several of these childhood events. I didn’t ask for it. It was a part of my childhood recipe, and I’m beyond thankful now, as an adult. I’m not without my emotional baggage, but recovery is an ongoing life process that I embrace and accept as part of being human. I don’t expect things to always work out perfectly, and when they don’t, I’m okay with it. Pain is still felt and heartache is present, but the adversity doesn’t pose a threat anymore. My faith and resiliency muscles are fighting these battles.
Several years ago a colleague and good friend of mine, Meg Parker-Wilson, came into my office, sat on the couch across from my desk, and blurted out, “I think we should write a musical together. I’ve been listening to your music on Spotify, and you write for musicals, not pop music (which was the genre my music was under on Spotify), and we should tell the story of your brother James.” Now I wasn’t surprised by her outlandish idea; she’s a visionary and would often come into my office with ideas, but I was caught off guard at the idea of telling my brother’s story. She knew of my brother’s story and had recently experienced her own tragedy with mental illness in her husband.
Telling James’s story and how my family dealt with it; What would that look like? It’s so personal. How would we do this? How would I do this – emotionally? Could I handle it? Am I strong enough?
All of these thoughts came to my mind within seconds, and the next thing I knew I casually said “Sure, let’s do it” not thinking what I had just agreed to. Over the next several months, Meg worked on the script while I focused on the music and lyrics. It was with great care and careful planning that I carved out time in the middle of the busyness of my life to sit at the piano with paper and pencil and let myself remember James – my baby brother- who struggled toward the end of his short 24 years of life, with paranoid schizophrenia – to write about it.
There were certain situations and moments with my brother that stood out to me that I knew needed to be in our musical. The music and lyrics flowed out of me somewhat effortlessly as I allowed myself to feel and remember. I went through his notebooks, looked at pictures, and scrolled through text messages and facebook threads that included him or that were about him.
Meg and I collaborated on a lot of the lyrics as they were weaved into the script. I would send her voice memos, recordings from my closet, in the kitchen while I was making dinner, and in my car. We shared dozens of google docs full of ideas, met in each other’s offices, at coffee shops, and at our houses to brainstorm and work out scenes, put the story in order, create a flow, develop the characters, and hash out the vision and story arc. We argued about all kinds of things, we hashed out what was most important, we spent time creating, then had to decide what needed to be cut. We laughed so hard and had a blast brainstorming and making space for all of the terrible ideas. We said them out loud and were both vulnerable, yet never judged each other. We experienced firsthand a magical collaboration as the bad ideas led the way for the great ones. We listened to each other and respected each other’s talent knowing we both needed to stay unified in our vision to get this delicate story off the ground. We were both invested, and slowly but surely, the story of my brother’s life and my family was born into Boy on Billboard the Musical.
Meg presented this idea to me in July of 2019, and after a few table reads and lots of edits, our first preview finally came in February 2022. I was terrified! What if it wasn’t good enough? I had never written a musical. What were we thinking? What if I couldn’t hold it together while conducting it? What if my family didn’t like the show?! What if James’s friends didn’t like it!? Our preview included actors holding scripts and no detailed costumes or sets. We mainly wanted to see how this whole creation would sit with a general audience. An enormous amount of people showed up to support Meg and me. My college friends came to town from different cities and states. We sold out the small venue in Plano, Texas and couldn’t have been prouder of our work. We were so pleased and so overwhelmed. We received great feedback from both people we knew and people we did not know. The cast and musicians were phenomenal. They were talented, full of love, and captivated by the story. One of my favorite moments happened the closing night of the run. Meg and I were backstage with the cast and someone asked a question about James, and then another, until I was telling them detailed stories about my precious brother. It felt so magical to be sitting with a group of people who were helping Meg and me tell this story. They were genuinely interested in who my brother was and what he was like. It was pure joy for me to share what an amazing human he was. It was a healing and powerful moment I’ll never forget.
We did another run of the show in May 2023. This time it would be full out – sets, costumes, projections, lights! Meg was the mastermind behind all of that. The bulk of her work came closer to and during the show. From a budget standpoint, we could not afford to hire live musicians for all of the orchestrated parts I had written. So we decided to record the music in advance. The bulk of my work came months in advance of starting rehearsals. I hired players from all over the world (literally – thanks to the company Fiverr) and was able to get my favorite piano player, Carson Wagner, to record the piano parts. He brought the music to life with so much soul and beauty in his playing. Because of their talent and dedication to the project, we re-hired many of the same actors from our preview. As we casted the show, we found the lead, the character of James, from scrolling Tiktok! After checking out several of his videos, we reached out to Jack Austin – all the way in Michigan. He was on board immediately. Meg mainly rehearsed with the actors on zoom since Jack was in Michigan, and we were all in Texas. He arrived a week before opening night to rehearse in person with us. He was such a trooper and his talent amazed us, especially because he was only 19. Meg and I were nervous about the comradery between him and the others since he had been on zoom the entire rehearsal process, but before we knew it, he was getting in the mix with the cast and meshed beautifully with everyone. It was finally time for our full-out production of Boy on Billboard. Family members of the cast along with Meg’s husband were invaluable in helping us get everything ready to get the show on a big stage. Tickets sold, and yet again, the whole production came together beautifully. People talked with us at intermission and after the show about the importance of telling this story. We listened as person after person came to us and complimented our work and then shared stories of family members and friends who struggled with mental illness. We learned that beyond the craft of writing a musical and getting it to an audience, was the opportunity to make space for people to tell their own stories and share what they’ve witnessed on this topic.
I know that if Meg hadn’t come into my office on that summer day back in 2019, James’s legacy would only be within the hearts of people who actually knew him. And while that would be enough, it is so fulfilling to know that the life he led and the struggle he endured was not in vain. It is being used to help and heal others beyond those closest to him.
Meg and I have no plans of slowing down with Boy on Billboard. We have been on this journey for over four years, and it has been a wild ride full of ups and downs. We have, by no means, arrived, but we have learned much along the way. We are in awe at the amazing people who have crossed our path thus far. There were countless times I wanted to quit. There were many emotionally exhausting moments full of grief and pain. As I sat at my piano creating music, I revisited sadness that I hadn’t seen in years. Most of the time, I leaned into it, however, I had moments when I needed to get up and walk away. I learned over time that by giving myself fully to this story and the music, only then could it resonate with others. And it has.
Resilience comes in many forms and manifests in many ways. There are opportunities to quit and distractions at every turn, especially in our digital age where technology can ping and buzz away our creative juices; however, there is a great reward in following what is in our hearts to do – and not quitting. It will come to be with perseverance. Take moments to stop and rest. Lean on those who love you and remind yourself how loved and valuable you are. There is no one like you, and there are opportunities carved out just for you. Don’t miss them. It will be hard. ‘If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. It’s supposed to be hard. The hard is what makes it great.’
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am a music teacher (middle school choir director more specifically!) during the day and songwriter and creator after 5pm! I love getting to work with students on a daily basis and help enhance their learning experience through music.
It’s a constant balancing act juggling working as a teacher during the day and then coming home and switching gears to recording vocals, working on music edits, updating sheet music, or meeting with Meg and our team about next steps for Boy on Billboard. There is always something to be done. The studio recording of Boy on Billboard is what I’m currently focused on. I graduated from Belmont University with a music business degree. I remember having to take Studio Engineering 101 with Ken Landers, and while he was a fantastic teacher, I hated recording even then, ha! It’s been quite a learning experience for me, but also really exciting too. The cast of singers are amazing. You’ll be able to check out music at our website www.boyonbillboard.com and you can always get updates on our Boyonbillboard instagram as well!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Never taking anything personal. The second you begin to assign meaning to something done by someone it can grip you and send you in a downward spiral of wasted turmoil.
Be grateful for your challenges and setbacks. They hold all the gold necessary to learn and grow in life and become who you are meant to be.
Don’t outsource your power or authority to others. You decided what is best for you. Stay in your lane. Let other people be them, and you be you.
Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?
A challenge I am currently working through is taking the time to learn the ins and outs of recording so we can get Boy on Billboard the studio album done. I work with a wonderful engineer in Nashville (Sarah Michelle), but most of the cast is local to me, so I’ve been recording them in my studio office. It’s not my wheelhouse, but I’ve embraced that I’m going to figure it out for the sake of getting the music out there for people to enjoy! The album will be out in 2024!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.boyonbillboard.com
- Instagram: applesongs4ever & boyonbillboard
- Facebook: Lisa Apple
- Linkedin: Lisa Apple
- Youtube: boyonbillboard
- SoundCloud: Boy on Billboard / Lisa Apple
- Other: tiktok: BoyonBillboard
Image Credits
Steve Sickman Nate Wilson
