We were lucky to catch up with Max Cohen recently and have shared our conversation below.
Max, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
First, I like to differentiate between confidence and self-esteem. I’ve developed confidence in certain areas (playing guitar, songwriting & performing for example) by becoming more competent at those skillsets. It’s pretty simple. When I began, I sucked at all of those things. I was insecure, because deep down I knew I wasn’t very skilled, The better I got, the more confident I felt. I’ve experienced degrees of imposter syndrome, and sometimes I don’t feel very confident, even though I “should be” based on my skill level. However, the overall trajectory of my confidence has grown in tandem with growth in competence.
I would say my self-esteem developed when I realized I had the ability to grow fundamentally as a person. I used to fall into the bad habit of labelling myself when I had a shortcoming. I would label myself “shy” for example- which was personally very disempowering, because I really wanted to connect with people…I was just afraid to do so. The label was restrictive. When I learned that I could change and grow as a person (for example I became outgoing through trial & error and effort) my self-esteem became more solid. I realized that whatever I am made of at my core is sturdy and can withstand failure and the pain that accompanies it. By persisting in spite of failure I inevitably grew, and as a result my self-esteem or ‘core confidence’ began to develop.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I like to describe myself simply as a musician, but I wear many hats. Currently, I teach music (mostly guitar) both as a private teacher, and at a preschool. I also perform with my Punk/Alt Rock band Mr. Max very frequently, and write, record and release music under that name. I play for other original acts and cover acts as well, and I also work part time for a guitar product called String Sling.
So yes, I am extremely busy haha, but somehow I make it work and I love it all.
I find joy in doing so many things because it keeps everything fresh, and I’m in charge of my own life. I recall working mundane office jobs (nothing against anyone who works in an office, it’s just not for me) and doing pretty much the same thing every day, and I HATED IT. Listen to my song “I Hate My Life, if you wanna hear me scream about it. I was bored, unfulfilled, and I couldn’t stand not being in control of my own time and my own life.
I also love that everything I do is music-related, and all the tasks feed into one another. For example, when I need to learn material and master certain concepts to teach my students, I can use that new knowledge in my own playing. Here’s another example- learning to keep the attention of a room of rowdy 3 years olds as a preschool music teacher with just my voice and a guitar, has helped me learn to control a room full of drunk audience members at a venue or a bar. Yes, I am saying that drunk adults are pretty much the same as 3 year olds…the only difference is that three year olds don’t demand you sing their favorite song, then get on stage and try to sing it and break your gear in the process. Yes that happened last weekend…
ANYWAY, I’m very grateful that I’m able to make a living pursuing my passions. I’d like to let everyone know that I’ll be releasing new songs this Spring, so get pumped. Also, come to a show! The shows are getting crazier and crazier, and if you like hard rock, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy it- just don’t step on my gear if you choose to get on stage 🙂
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Learning to overcome fear and resistance… and practice not making fear-based decisions.
-I regard this one as a skill because it takes a lot of consistent practice. When faced with a difficult task, or a fear-inducing situation, our instincts tell us to avoid. Overriding those instincts, and instead making a conscious decision to push through fear and resistance is crucial to moving forward. It sounds cliche, but it’s the truth!
Also, whenever I am making a big decision that is nerve-racking, I try to never make that decision based on what my fear is telling me. If I’m afraid, I try my best to move towards the fear rather than away. Fear can be cunning and can creep into our subconscious to generate excuses, rationalizations etc. so it’s important to be brutally honest with oneself in this pursuit.
2. Don’t give up. Persist.
-Again, very cliche, but this has been a very useful mindset for me in the most difficult times. I’ve almost (and still might) get his tattooed on my body. I’ve wanted to give up on my dreams many many times, but ultimately I refused to and things somehow worked out.
3. Accept that progress and growth happen slowly and gradually.
-Don’t rush the process, and don’t expect results too quickly. I used to have grandiose pipe dreams- I don’t think those are bad by the way- but I would expect them to unfold way too quickly. Most of my progress and growth has been gradual (with occasional big leaps forward), so you’ve got to learn to love the process.. I am the king of cliches today, but remember they are cliches for a reason!
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
I am looking for fellow musicians and/or people in the music industry that agree with me that musicians are criminally underpaid and want to fight against this. In my career, I have seen so many musicians with so much talent that it would blow your mind. I’ve witnessed them entertain rooms of people, and make venues tons of money and make next to nothing for themselves.
We need to stop tolerating this. We must find a way to give artists their fair share for the services they provide. I believe this will benefit the entire ecosystem of the music industry, and better art and community will grow out of that ecosystem. It doesn’t have to be a win-lose. It can be win-win, I’ve seen it!
So yea, if you share this philosophy, hit me up 😉
Contact Info:
- Website: https://linktr.ee/mrmaxmusic
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrmaxmusic/?hl=en
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/mr_max_music
Image Credits
Photos by Mazhar Badani and Luis Turcios
