We recently connected with Nessa Amherst and have shared our conversation below.
Nessa, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
I have three mental health illnesses – major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder – and it’s not an easy life to have with three primary conditions impacting your life!
One of the things that I do that makes a difference is speak out about my illnesses to people I work with and interact with so that they know firsthand that if there are any triggers, symptoms, or setbacks I experience, they know right away and allow me the chance to heal and also help me in the best way possible that can help me continue to perform at my best.
I’m on two medications that help me with my symptoms, and over the years, I’ve worked hard on getting to a place where my mental health is stable enough to not rely on high dosages of my medication, like exercising, reading, watching my favorite shows and films, journaling, and shopping. But there are times when I’m going through a rough period where I discover that just allowing myself to feel the emotions, processing everything, and giving myself extra grace to recovery has made a difference.
An example of this came during Memorial Day weekend when I was taking virtual classes with an NYC-based organization that allowed me to work on my craft in front of working casting directors, agents, writers, and other industry professionals. However, these classes weren’t cheap, and I’ve had to rely on paying in installments in order to keep attending the classes. That Friday was a rough day that went from bad to worse when the head of the organization called me about an outstanding balance that was due before the final session. I had to inform him via email that the rent was expected, and my part-time work hours were cut to resolve the remaining balance after the last session.
Barely fifteen minutes later, I received an email from the head of the organization, which said that I was kicked out of the class. I got scared, and when I tried calling him and explaining to him what I said in the email about the rent being due and my hours being cut, he told me that “my reputation was ruined,” “You dug your own grave,” “you ruined this for everyone else,” and “you mistook niceness for weakness.” In tears, I could pay him the remaining balance with the funds needed for the rent, and my mom was horrified that I was treated in that manner by the head of the organization.
I was shaking as I experienced my anxiety symptoms and triggers from that phone call. I could’ve just hung up the phone. Still, due to being abused for much of my life, I was manipulated, guilt-tripped, and shamed into giving the head of the organization precisely what he wanted, just like my father and older sister did to me when I was growing up. Experiencing a setback like this was not fun, especially when, for the next five weeks, I experienced nothing but bad things happening to me all the time.
One thing that struck me was how much I couldn’t bounce back from an experience like this, and I needed time to grieve, process, and heal. And with so many bad things happening all at once, it was all I could do not to suffer a nervous breakdown. There were days when all I could give was less than 50%, and with many people counting on me, that made me feel like a failure. But I noticed that when I spoke up and allowed myself to be brutally vulnerable, my theatre community and my brothers and sisters in Christ rallied around me to make sure I was okay, prayed for me, sent positive vibes my way, and encouraged me.
The fact that I allowed myself time to heal and process everything truly made a big difference, and it’s also helping me realize that it’s okay to slow down in this career I’m in. It’s okay to slow down, give yourself extra grace, admit you need help, and be vulnerable with others to be reminded that no one is truly alone.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m an actor & writer based in the Washington, DC, area, and I do theatre (virtual and in-person), readings, workshops, film, and voiceover. I also maintain a biweekly blog post on my website that talks about my career and life around me, intending to be kind, sincere, and transparent.
One of my favorite things about my career is being a part of projects and works that start as readings and seeing where they go in the editing and transformation stages. I often read the stage directions and treat them as a character because they add so much to the story for the audience to see in their imagination what it would look like if a show were brought to life on stage.
But then, that’s just it – I love to tell stories as different individuals with whom I may have a connection, no matter how big or small. I thoroughly enjoy bringing new perspectives to characters in classic works as I enjoy delving into the history, mental ideology, and transformation of the individual I am playing since there’s a chance I may leave my performance with a new piece of myself I never thought I could get the opportunity to learn more about.
Some of my favorite credits include The Survival (National Queer Theater & Lincoln Center), Runtime Error (Transformation Theatre), Julia Caesar (Barefoot Shakespeare Company), As You Like It (TheatreLab School of Dramatic Arts), District Merchants (Theatre CBT & Globe Openstage), #ENOUGH (1st Stage), CHRCH: A Black Music Story (aShe Xchnge LLC), A Murder in the Court of Xanadu (A Theater in the Dark), and Apologies to Lorraine Hansberry (Voices Festival Productions).
My original monologue, Define “Black,” has been published in an anthology called 08:46: Fresh Perspectives, and it is now available to purchase on Amazon.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
My first advice for young actors starting out is best described in one word: PATIENCE! Even in my seventh year as a professional actor, I still struggle with this, even as I’m upping my game constantly. I realize that you can only control so much of your career, no matter how much you put yourself out there through auditions, callbacks, self-submissions, self-tapes, and more. Your job is done once you leave the audition room or hit the “send” button on an online submission. It would help to let go and trust that the right opportunity will come.
And even if you miss out on some phenomenal projects you thought you were precisely suitable for, these doors are closing for a reason, so the right ones to help you along your journey will be opened to you. Forcing things to happen on your timeline when you want it to will only lead you to more frustration and distress – take it from someone who knows and still struggles with this today!
The next important thing to remember about being an actor is that there is only one you, and your path differs from everyone else’s. You can welcome the guidance and wisdom from those more experienced in your field, but at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you and trust in yourself and your path. No one can tell you what to do to be successful. You have to make it your own and believe in yourself, even if the well-intentioned comments and suggestions are there to guide you on your journey.
It’s not an easy career field to be in, but just acknowledging that your path is the right one for you and taking the best steps that are right for you will make a significant impact on your career.
And finally, the one piece of advice that seems fitting for young actors to put into practice is always open-minded to learning. Your work is NEVER done, no matter how far ahead you get. There’s always an opportunity to learn and improve your craft, even if it’s one-day workshops or Zoom classes. There’s no shame in asking for help with a monologue or a scene if it will help you get better and help you find more confidence in yourself.
If you resist learning and being open-minded, you WILL get left behind. It doesn’t necessarily mean getting a degree or taking a course. Still, it does mean that each audition, callback, submission, and self-tapes has the opportunity to teach you something about yourself, how you can get better, and even how good you are. And sometimes bad experiences can teach you something about persistence and resilience and never doing that wrong thing again!
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
Boy, that’s a tough one, not to mention a bit scary to think about! But I wouldn’t care what anyone thought about me – how I looked, what I did as a career, what I wore daily, and how I spoke to others. I’d be happy, brave, confident, and assured in who I am.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.nessaamherst.com
- Instagram: @nessaamherst
- Other: Fresh Perspectives purchase link: https://www.amazon.com/Perspectives-New-World-Theatre-Publishing/dp/B095G5JYL3/ref=sr_1_1?crid=37ZOXTBCC221Y&keywords=08%3A46+fresh+perspectives&qid=1687972345&sprefix=08+46+fresh+perspectives%2Caps%2C65&sr=8-1
Image Credits
Matt Simpkins, Ryan Maxwell, Sachyn Mital
