We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Onur Yenigun a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Onur, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
Developing my sense of confidence and self-esteem took years of hard work, introspection, and growth. I’m first-generation in this country, raised by a single immigrant mother. We struggled as many do, partially filling our pantry on food stamps and taking shelter in government funded-housing.
I realized that I wanted to become a doctor early in childhood, after convincing my mother to go into nursing and spending my elementary years helping her study in pursuit of that goal. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel like the prototypical young boy that grows to become a physician. Nor did I have the discipline to chase that dream or the self-esteem to truly believe that I’d ever earn that white coat. It was just a fantasy nestled away in the back of a young boy’s mind – until the day I decided that I had to make it a reality. It wasn’t for myself alone, but for all of the other young boys and girls out there that also believed that the stars were too far beyond their reach.
That’s when I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done to this day. I stood in front of the mirror and was deeply critical of myself. Living in a world where we’re constantly under a microscope – being judged for our accents, actions, looks and lifestyle it’s beyond difficult to flip that lens around on yourself. Even tougher so when your self-esteem and confidence are already hanging by a thread. But, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
I decided that if I was to transform, I had to push out of my comfort zone and push past my self-proposed boundaries. The next day I walked into the Marine Corps recruiter’s office and asked them to give me the toughest job they could. They looked at me a bit funny, as did my family, but less than six months later I was graduating from boot camp and preparing to head off to the fleet.
I served with and under some of the greatest men I’d ever met, pushing myself daily to grow stronger both mentally and physically. I went to boot camp only able to do three pull-ups and barely gasp through a three-mile run to doing over twenty pull-ups and running ten miles with ease. I went from being the anxious and unconfident young boy that was too afraid to raise his hand in the back of class to leading Infantry Marines. I was unrecognizable.
I like to think of confidence and self-esteem as glasses that we continuously fill and occasionally spill. Confidence we fill by facing our fears. We top if off by leaping into the unknown and realizing that we’re capable of landing on our feet. It requires action and experience. Our glass of self-esteem we fill by active self-reflection, doing good, and surrounding ourselves with others that are willing to remind us of the qualities we possess that sometimes we’re too blind to see.
In my line of work I push myself daily to take the most challenging cases and sickest patients so that I can grow more confident in my abilities. I do volunteer work in limited resource environments to prove to myself that I am capable. And after every shift I spend 10 minutes to reflect and recall all those that I helped – whether it was a life saved, or just telling a young and terrified mother that her baby is healthy and well.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m an ER physician and absolutely love what I do. As I mentioned before it’s been my dream since childhood and to be living it now is an absolute blessing. It’s an immensely unpredictable environment. One second you can be suturing a simple wound shut, and next thing you know paramedics call in and you have 5 minutes to coordinate a team and prepare both mentally and logistically for a very sick patient that’s been shot multiple times. That unpredictably and stress keeps me focused, motivated and driven throughout an entire shift.
It’s also a team environment. More-so than any other place in the hospital, we are a unit. None of us could accomplish the things we do without each other. Whether it be our nurses, techs, respiratory therapists, unit coordinators or EVS personnel – everyone plays an integral role in the process and respects that. We know each other by name, spend time together, and at times shed tears together. It’s truly a family, and reminiscent of the camaraderie I miss so much from my days in the Marine Corps.
I often have the opportunity to be there for people through some of their most joyous moments, as well as their darkest. In a single shift I can help bring joy into this world with the delivery of a baby, and on the same day be witness to the loss of an equally precious life. It can be an emotional whirlwind, but at the same time it’s an absolute honor and privilege to bear that responsibility. It’s something that drives me day in and day out to better myself as a physician, both in regards to my clinical knowledge as well as my emotional resilience.
Finally, it means a lot to me that we have a chance to truly support our community. The emergency department doors are open to anyone. We don’t care about insurance, citizenship status, or what one’s ailments may be. If you come we will care for you. Because of this we often serve as the primary care providers for many of the underserved in our community, many of which suffer from chronic ailments and would otherwise be forced to fend for themselves. It’s quite heartwarming to see a familiar face in what’s often a sea of strangers and know that I play a key role in that person’s rather limited support system.
I could name countless more reasons why this work means so much to me, but in the end it comes down to the fact that it gives me purpose, pride and a reason to rise each and every day.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I believe three of the most valuable qualities and skills I’ve worked to develop along the way are self-improvement, self-care, and adaptability.
If you’re going to excel at anything, particularly in a rapidly-evolving field like medicine you have to continually strive for self-improvement. I make it a point to try to learn something new each and every day, no matter how simple it may be. At least one journal article, blog post, podcast or skill per rising sun and you’ve learned 365 new things every year. It really adds up.
Self-care is absolutely vital to longevity, preventing burnout and overall mental health. No matter what you’re doing or where you’re at in life this applies to you. Spend 10 minutes a day to reflect. Take a night off to see friends and family. Get out and move your body – your physical fitness is far more intertwined with your mental health than you’d ever imagine. I struggled a lot early on in medical school with finding a balance between helping others and caring for myself. I got so entrenched in studies and my desire to treat patients that I began to neglect myself. My overall quality of life quickly crumbled and I realized that I had given more to my career than I had to spare. Funny thing is, once I was able to strike that balance and find a means to maintain my own wellness, my patients benefit as well. I used to leave a piece of myself behind in the hospital each and every day. Now, instead, I leave with a full-heart and sense of accomplishment every time I walk out of those doors.
Finally, I believe that adaptability played a huge role in my journey. The road to where I am today was fraught with roadblocks and detours. The countless ups, downs, and setbacks can be so demoralizing, but once you grow to expect them, and realize that you can and will find a way around they become much less of a burden. I mean, think about it. Just driving one hour through the busy city streets of Los Angeles and you’re bound to encounter some sort of roadwork or accident that will force you to stray from your intended path. Now, think of an 8-12 year journey – is it reasonable to expect smooth sailing? Absolutely not. As long as you never forget your destination or purpose, you’ll get there no matter the route you’re forced to take.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
The most important thing is to recognize that it’s OK to feel overwhelmed once in a while. In fact, if you don’t you may not be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone often enough. That’s where you grow. When you inch past your self-proposed boundaries and succeed, the bar moves higher. Do that often enough and you’ll continually better yourself.
When I feel overwhelmed I like to pause and step back. It’s so easy to let all of the little problems clump together into one big mess, but that makes it nearly impossible to address any of them. Instead, take a moment to break down whatever it is that’s weighing you down into a number of actionable items and start knocking them out one by one. With each little victory the tension and stress will melt away. Works wonders. And if it doesn’t, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Our minds work in different ways – the answer to your problems may be just a phone call away.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @dr.onury
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/yenigunmd
