Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Pamela Cavers. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Pamela, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
For me, I find purpose in the everyday, the little things.I love being a mom to three incredible humans, I love being a friend to the love of my life, I love the birds and bees… ha, it’s true…I spend an incredible amount of time outside and both the birds and bees bring me so much joy! Working hard feels good to me, having something worthwhile to do keeps me going. As a person who grows food and has farmed pretty much my whole life I know the value in hard work and see the results daily.
Education is a big piece of my purpose, learning and growing is integral to who I am and making sure that my mind doesn’t close but stays open. In a world full of closed minds I want and need to remain open.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
The services I provide are all geared around death, dying and grief. So the work is endless really. Currently I work in a few areas. Every one that contacts me and wants to use my services has an onboarding session where I ask some specific questions in order to find out what exactly they are looking for as far as death, dying and grief goes. This first session sets both the client and myself in a direction to move in. From there my services can be used for help with obituary writing, end of life planning, funeral planning and family conversations around end of life plans. I have also been asked to put on workshops, death cafes, conversation dinners, home death parties and speaking engagements.
People tend to wait until they know they are dying before contacting me but in truth talking about your own death is easier when you don’t know exactly when it’s coming. That is where some of the speaking events and workshops come in. Talking about death outside of a funeral just has a whole different feeling around it.
My personality when working as a Death Doula, or really with everything I do, is very straight forward. I will talk about the elephant in the room. People can ask me questions about anything related to death and dying and if I do not know the answer you can be guaranteed I will find it. It is my super power really, I am not afraid to say I do not know something. I am also not afraid to tell people the truth, the facts and what I know…
I went for my first podcast the other day and was pretty scared to do it. Thank goodness I just said yes to the opportunity and trusted the process. My fear did not stop me. Talking about death so frankly and so openly was just the ticket for this interview. Now hats off to everyone that has done podcasts, it is a lot of work and not easy to do.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three things that stand out that brought me to this point are real life experiences, wanting to do better, and curiosity. The first, real life experience that brought me down this path was a death. A death of one of my daughters friends, she was 12. It was tragic, it was the hardest thing to navigate as a mom, it effected our whole family, and I didn’t know what to do at the time, all I could do was experience it fully and learn and be there for my daughter.
The second area that impacted me was my want and need to do better. I was scared to die like most people but even more scared to have the last thing that I did as a human leaving a toxic foot print. I wanted to do better for the earth and the people left behind. The environmental side of me knew there had to be a better way and you can bet there is a better way, thanks to deciding to learn about alternative or green burials I know now that I can do better.
Curiously is the third piece that has impacted me the most on my journey. Every step I took with my learning made me more curious. Finding out about how death is done different around the world, how different cultures do different things. Finding out why we do what we do now, here in North America. Understanding that it is a business here and one that makes money just like any other business. For me and my role, I bring the people back into the decision making. Planning for your own funeral ahead of time saves the people that you love so much heartache and can save money as well as ensure that everyone is taken care of.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
As a death doula collaborating with other professionals rounds out this type of work. Currently I have worked with a local funeral home in small ways but there is so much more we can do together. Because the death doula program in Canada is unregulated there are many different people choosing different areas to work in. I think this is what holds other professionals in this industry back but in truth it should empower them. Even the health professionals should find ways to work with death doulas. Education is key and finding the right person for the right fit matters and in truth not everyone has or wants to work in this field. Death, dying and grief is special area of expertise so if you find someone that has the heart, strength and expertise than finding a way to work together seems like the perfect fit. The funeral industry is going to need to make some changes here in North America whether they want to or not. There are plenty of people wanting a green burial or green options and the it seems the death doulas are the ones paving that path.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://fullcircleconsultation.my.canva.site/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fullcircle2023/
Image Credits
Pamela Cavers
