We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Pauline Messina a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Pauline , we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Growing up in a Hispanic household, mental health issues weren’t talked about. Having any kind of “issue” may you look weak. It’s not something our “community” considers an issue at all. You have a bad day and then you just shake it off.
Well what happens when you can not shake it off?
Who do you turn too? What do you do when you go to see your doctor and you address your feelings of depression, anxiety or any other mental illness.
He tells you to get a job and stay busy!
That’s what mine told me. It’s funny but it’s not.
Mental health is a real medical issue. Like cancer it needs treatment. And it’s not just from day to the next. If only we listened instead of judging.
How did I overcome challenges with mental illness…. I lost my brother. That’s the day my life changed.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
After losing my brother to suicide I went through a roller coaster of emotions. It’s been 3 and a half years and I’m still dealing with the aftermath of his disease.
My brother was 44 years old and super successful. He traveled the world and was a mini Albert Einstein. He was extremely smart with numbers. He loved working with numbers. Of course living in the fastest growing city of
Houston, Texas, he was in real estate. He was an investor. Buying and flipping was his thing.
Then one day the depression hit. I had just moved back from New York City and didn’t know what was happening with him. It went on for a year and a half.
See growing up the way we did, you were supposed to shake it off. Mental illness is not real. Well, it is and now the family understands how real it is.
When someone you love takes their life, it’s an action that has so many consequences. It is debilitating. Well that’s what happened to me.
I did not understand what had happened and why. I went to see a therapist twice a week. I couldn’t function. I had never felt such pain in my life. That’s when the anxiety set in for me. All my brother’s affairs were now left on my shoulders. And I had no idea how to handle it all.
I started learning about suicide. Learned all there was to learn. I needed answers. I felt like my brother had the best life.
Guess what, he was battling issues that we had no idea about.
Fast forward to today. I’m an activist for mental health and suicide prevention.
Suicide is 100% preventable, but we just need to know what the signs are and others need to know that when they don’t feel OK that it is OK to talk about it and you’re not gonna have a great day every day and that’s OK.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I’m still a work in progress. But my number one advise to everyone is to be kind. Stop judging and stop worrying what people think about you. Focus on yourself. If you don’t feel ok then get help. Your family is not going to be better off without you. It will be the opposite actually…. Suicide is the worst thing you could do for them.
I wish I knew what I know now back then.
Things always work themselves out. It may take time but it will all work out in the end. Just stay calm.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
I feel overwhelmed quite often. What I do is write everything down that needs to be done, and do one thing at a time.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
It’s all gonna be ok. Just breathe.
Contact Info:
- Website: Beautiquetc.com
- Instagram: @MsPauline212
- Linkedin: Pauline Messina
