We recently connected with Rachel Wahba-Dunkley and have shared our conversation below.
Rachel, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I grew up learning that I couldn’t be different from what my family and community expected of me, and I couldn’t question any of the cultural values or traits I was raised with. Anything about life, faith, and relationships that I learned was unquestionably true – that is, until the times of hardship came about and the “truths” were insufficient and not bringing any answers or relief that I was promised. I started to notice a trend – when I listened to my family, community, or culture, the situation got worse. When I followed my discernment, gut, or wise counsel from unbiased people, the situation got better. I unpacked why it was hard for me to listen to my internal spirit and found that my true self was waiting there, under all the layers, waiting to be explored and celebrated.
From there, I started saying “no” and used wisdom in when/how to explain myself to others. I started pursuing hobbies that were healthy and enjoyable, even if it was “weird”. I left my stable job to pursue entrepreneurship, and stopped listening to the naysayers of my community and instead following my faith and gut intuition. Everything I learned from childhood was held up to a light and examined – I interrogated every thought, value, and stereotype. I asked myself what I actually think about it, and decided for myself what to keep and what to throw away. I love my culture, schooling, and upbringing, but it doesn’t decide how I want to live my life. I decide that, and the past is one of the many aspects that I take into consideration.
Now, I find that the more I listen to my discernment and see the positive, healthy outcome, the more confident I become! Being confident doesn’t mean I know all the answers – it means I’m humble, ask for help, and feel comfortable saying “I’ll get back to you on that”, in addition to engaging in continuing education to sharpen my skills.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
As a Black & Indigenous woman, and child of immigrants, my dreams and aspirations have never been well received for straying too far from acceptable paths. It’s made me feel alone, misunderstood, and frustrated with myself and others. While navigating cultural and familial expectations, I’ve also had to grapple with issues of identity, wellness, and faith. With my clients, I specifically work on things like: addressing generational messages/trauma/wealth, navigating family dynamics, cultural identity and belonging, self-awareness, self-compassion, spirituality and faith, communication skills and advocacy, boundaries, navigating friendship and dating relationships, processing and healing the past, and planning for the future.
I wanted to be able to offer to other women what I wanted so badly—a safe space and support from someone like me. So I got my degree in Human Development from Binghamton University, then a Master of Education and Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from Columbia University. After several years working with students at NYU and local community colleges, I began developing holistic mindset and wellness programs built specifically for women of color, supported by my certification in Spiritual Life Coaching from Transformation Academy. I provide one-on-one coaching support, group coaching membership support, and digital resources to support women in showing up authentically without fear in any space they’re in.
I feel strongly that breakthrough and growth only come when we feel safe to be open and vulnerable with someone who understands us. By pairing my lived experiences as a Black & Indigenous woman and child of immigrants with specialized training in multicultural, client-centered, and solution-creation counseling, I aim to create a coaching environment where each person feels uniquely known and heard.
In this judgment-free zone, we’ll laugh, cry, and never think twice about impressing each other. I invite each client to come as they are— no makeup or code-switching required!
I have a few services right now, but one I’m most excited about right now is my membership program called the Journal Club. Journal Club is a journaling community for Christian women of color who want to incorporate their faith in their wellness journey, as well as accountability, prayer, and community with other like-minded women. Folks can join for $16 a month for weekly journaling kits and bi-weekly journaling Zoom calls!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1: Practicing active, compassionate, and curious listening – when I listen with the intent to understand, I’m more likely to co-create solutions that actually work for my client. This happens when I’m actively listening, meaning I’m not only hearing what someone is saying, but also tuning to their thoughts and feelings as well. By practicing compassionate curiosity, I’m able to ask questions with humility – instead of saying “why would you call your ex if he was horrible to you?” I’d say “something must’ve changed for you to want to reach out to him. I wonder what that is.” All of that goes into listening!
2. Practicing self-awareness – by being aware of my mind, body, and emotions, I’m able to understand myself better and respond to my needs, which helps me to advocate when needed. It’s hard to have the courage to be honest with yourself, but it’s necessary! In order to get the right care, I need to be honest with myself that I need care, deserve care, and have patience in the process of getting care. If I’m misunderstanding my body’s signals, then I’ll likely judge myself and make the situation worse. If I’m judging myself for having negative thoughts, I’m less likely able to unpack and understand the history of that thought. If I’m mad that I’m feeling mad towards someone, I’m less likely to engage in conflict resolution with them. The more I’m honest with myself and understand what’s going on, the more likely I’ll see healthier results that are transformative and long-lasting.
3. Knowing when to be flexible and when to stand my ground – there are times when I need to adjust my way of doing things and other times where I need to stand firm in my beliefs and ideas. Knowing when to do what is key! I ask myself how will changing this concept/idea change other things, and if that’s okay. Am I okay with creating a new contract system that may annoy my client with another email or am I okay with an outdated contract that doesn’t cover too many policies? Do I need to create a new service for folks who want community, because that’s a real need, or do I want to stick to what I’m comfortable with? By analyzing what I believe and why, I’m able to see potential opportunities for doing things differently to accomplish the goal and allowing myself to be surprised and excited about learning new things.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
Yes, I’d love to collaborate! I work with Christian women of color, so anyone who works with that population or similar I’d be happy to chat with to see how we can support each other’s businesses and co-host events together. I’m also looking to be a guest on podcasts having to do with wellness, like self-care, boundaries, and coping strategies. You can reach out via email (hello@rachelanncoaching.com) or Instagram (@realwithrachelann)
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.rachelanncoaching.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realwithrachelann/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rachelanncoaching
