We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Renata Hill a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Renata, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
I’m a Chicago native who enjoyed the diversity of the big city, probably because my family also reflected it. My mixed Indigenous mother, abandoned as a child, and Polish-British father, a WWII camps survivor, spoke 4 languages between them, so English wasn’t my first language. They were trauma survivors who struggled with the profound impact of their lived experiences. People just didn’t discuss PTSD, trauma, moral injury or unhealthy coping behaviors then because “mental health” wasn’t even a concept.
I absorbed that generational trauma — some research shows it affects DNA — plus lived with neglect, alcoholism and sexual abuse. By the time I was 21, the combination was almost lethal. One sunny day, I sat in my car realizing that I had reached “the end.” I couldn’t endure the pain and self-loathing anymore; either I was going to kill myself or try to find help. I decided to try help first. That’s when life utterly and completely changed for me.
I got a diagnosis (Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and complex PTSD) to learn what was affecting me; I started going to therapy to learn why I was affected; and I attended multiple support groups to learn how other people coped with experiences similar to mine. When I realized I wasn’t alone, that others had the same feelings of shame, guilt, fear, pain, etc., I had a new realization — I wasn’t broken or useless. I was, in fact, quite strong to have lived through what I did the way I did.
Decades later, I still struggle, but now my goal is simple: to have more good days than bad. I practice healthy coping skills and help others because that helps me. I continue in therapy to process the adverse experiences and I manage the mental illness so it doesn’t define me. I also learned I’m on the autism spectrum, which has explained a lot of my additional challenges; now, I’m practicing strategies to live with neurodiversity as well.
To sum up: I’d say my resilience comes from 2 aspects: 1) a spark in my heart that reminds me I’m strong, even during very dark days, and 2) the support network I’ve developed; those folx value me for who I am. If we practice resilience, it grows more elastic, allowing us to bounce back. It becomes more powerful with each opportunity for use.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am a Colorado neighbor who struggles with mental illness and neurodivergence and am proudly Indigenous (Mvskoke) on my mother’s side. Lived experience has provided me with a deep understanding of the strife created by adverse childhood experiences, generational trauma and marginalization. Plus, I’ve lost relatives, friends and colleagues to suicide. So, supporting people in recovery from trauma and despair has become my Why.
I’ve worked as a social justice journalist, Associated Press elections reporter and tech writer, and I’m active in the Indigenous Journalists Association, the Association of Health Care Journalists, the National Association for Rural Mental Health and the National Association of Peer Supporters.
As a Chicago girl who moved to Colorado in the 1990s for its glorious mountain landscape, I was shocked to learn that the Centennial State has a long way to go when it comes to supporting mental wellness. In 2022, Colorado ranked last in access to mental healthcare and 6th in suicides with only marginal improvement since. With fierce determination and the support of like-minded community members, I publish Moodfuel to increase mental health equity and access to care by offering inclusive, solutions-based news and resources for neighbors who struggle.
The Moodfuel newsletter is free and arrives in subscribers’ inboxes once per month. Our inclusive, solution-based mental health news features Thrivers and Changemakers, reviews, insights, opinions and events coverage from around Colorado. You can subscribe here at moodfuel.org.
In addition, we maintain a robust, confidential Resource Guide available 24/7 and categorized by self-identity, full of links to learnings, listeners and supportive content statewide to help neighbors navigate Colorado’s rocky terrain of mental health. We want you to know that mental health is achievable and support is available, so we update and improve the guide continually.
We offer additional content on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram.
Finally, Moodfuel is the only publication in Colorado to focus solely on mental health. We dive deep into the mental health issues affecting 1.8 million of our residents and ranking us near the bottom in the nation for access to mental healthcare. Yet, our coverage is solutions-based to show readers who is working on the problems, how they’re working to solve them and what the results are. We don’t do gloom because we all get enough of that from big news media. Our independent journalism uplifts, enabling readers to see their way forward onto the path of mental health.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1) Tenacity: I don’t give up and won’t let others either 2) Empathy: I’m willing to walk that mile with you & actively listen
3) Intercultural communication: I move between cultures with intention & respect.
People who are just starting their journey toward mental health tend to be very hard on themselves, as I was at that stage, because life has been so hard on them. When all one has is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, but it’s very important to look past your past. Ask for help. Reaching out is the first, powerful step toward feeling better about yourself and living life as a Thriver instead of just a survivor. The best part is, there are so many compassionate, competent people who will respond with respectful guidance and support! If you don’t know where to look for mental health support in Colorado, come to Moodfuel. We see you and will hold space for you where ever you are on your journey.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I am definitely looking to collaborate with people who have something to say about mental health or who help others achieve it. Writers, speakers, advocates, counselors, coaches or diverse people with lived experience. I also want to connect with communicators who would enjoy spreading the word about Moodfuel and Colorado neighbors who are willing to share personal stories of resilience to inspire others who are struggling.
As a mixed-Indigenous, differently abled person myself, my goal is to magnify the efforts of diverse people who can help build a Colorado where mental healthcare is accessible for all residents regardless of ethnicity, ability, language or socioeconomic status and a place where neighbors feel capable of improving their own resilience.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.moodfuel.org/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moodfuelco/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Moodfuel
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/renatahill/
Image Credits
LGBTQ_reporting: Renata and Pasha Ripley of Parasol Patrol at a shielding event in Castle Rock, CO Moodfuel_booth: Renata on the Moodfuel Rural Life Listening Tour in Moffat, CO donkey_therapy: Renata with donkey Joy receiving some much needed snuggling support near Elizabeth, CO barbershop_reporting: Renata sits with Jay Hardy while covering the Black Men’s (barbershop) Project event in Colorado Springs. podcasting: Renata speaks about Moodfuel during a Bucket List Community Cafe podcast in Denver, CO. Moodfuel: logo, tag and URL.
