We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sandeep Dhillon. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sandeep below.
Sandeep, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
I look back at everything I’ve overcome and accomplished in my life to remind myself that 1) I have survived every hard experience I’ve encountered and 2) I have put in the work to be a better woman and AM a better woman than I was ten years ago.
With all the time I’ve spent reading, journaling, going to therapy, making difficult choices, challenging myself and my worldview, I have come to accept that I am not perfect but I AM worthy of love. I AM worthy of loyalty and respect and friendship.
Self-acceptance and self-kindness have truly helped skyrocket my confidence and self-esteem. I don’t pretend to have it all together, and I don’t pretend that I have all the answers. I don’t “fake it till I make it.” I simply breathe and show up as I am – and if that’s not enough for people, then those people aren’t my people. Sitting in the discomfort of my own growth was a critical part of the process.
It’s been probably a decade of discomfort and growth to get to where I am today. The journey continues. But it started with facing my own inner demons, going to therapy, and being honest with myself.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m a registered dietitian turned healthcare marketing manager who writes and powerlifts in her free time (the little bit of it that is left after running around after a toddler).
I followed the “preferred path” within my culture for most of my life, until I turned 27. At 27, I left my very safe and traditional marriage to a conservative Punjabi man, broke away from the expectations and customs of my family and community, and ventured into the unknown (carrying a broken heart, a LOT of fear, an empty bank account and a “I need to figure out my life” attitude).
I started work as a clinical dietitian in New York City and began to competitively powerlift. I traveled and met new friends. I started therapy and began tackling all of the inner demons I’d battled since I was a child – demons that were the byproducts of growing up in an abusive and chaotic home with an alcoholic father, a suffocating and judgmental community, and a narrative that I didn’t fit into either the Punjabi world of my home or the white world of my school.
During my post-divorce journey, I built a strong professional network and was recruited by a business school in Malibu, CA. I received a full scholarship and pivoted my career into healthcare marketing, leveraging my clinical background to help create content and strategies that would support patient and provider education.
Along the way, I stumbled into an unexpected relationship with a Black man who turned my entire worldview upside down, catapulted me into womanhood, and transformed my life entirely. Five years later, we own a beautiful home and are raising a stunningly hilarious child together. Because of my love for my partner, I wrote a book dedicated to raising awareness of anti-Blackness in the South Asian community, revealing my own history of anti-Black racism and prejudice to set an example of how others can face their own darkness and become better humans.
In the coming months, I’ll be launching a YouTube channel to share my stories of divorce, biracial relationships and parenting, and navigating motherhood while working.
My hope is to continue to offer love and kindness to people who need it!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three qualities are 1) tenacity 2) patience and 3) consistency. Consistency is the hardest one for me, especially as a working mama with a partner who has a very demanding business, but it is also the most important quality!
Write out the qualities you think you need to achieve your goals and put them somewhere you’ll see them. Re-write them every week and put them somewhere new so you don’t start ignoring them.
In terms of advice, here is what I tell people I mentor:
Ask for help and tap into your vulnerability when you do – don’t approach your request with entitlement and be thoughtful with the people you ask.
Write out your vision for your life – and then list out the things you need to accomplish to turn that vision into a reality. Formulate your goals into a list and break it into ten years, five years, 3 years, 1 year, 6 months, and 3 months. Write out HOW you plan on accomplishing these goals and DON’T BE AFRAID to dream big. No one but you needs to see this, so no one but you can judge it. So DON’T judge it 🙂
Identify your strengths and how you can leverage them to get to your goals. Don’t focus on your weaknesses – acknowledge them, identify how they may hold you back, and create a plan to make sure they don’t (or to at least minimize their impact. For example, if speaking to large groups of people isn’t a strong suit but it’s necessary for your goals, can you hire a speaking coach? can you join toast masters? can you speak for free at events to get more experience and build your discomfort threshold?)
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
The number on obstacle I am currently facing is myself.
I get in my own way. I overthink, I overplan, and I delay taking action. I’m in a season of life where I make excuses for myself rather than face myself. I’m starting shift that again and am taking steps to be better, but it’s definitely been a battle!
I’ve created an accountability system with loved ones to help me get my health back on track and my partner and I are working on our vision boards and planning weekly check-ins to make sure we’re both taking steps toward our goals!
Contact Info:
- Instagram: chaawithsandeep
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandeep-dhillon/
Image Credits
Alonya E. Lowe
