We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sara Weand a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Sara, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
Growing up, I knew that I was a “sensitive” kid. I was the kid who got my feelings hurt easily, was moved by art and music, and was able to form deep connections with others. Some people refer to this as being an “empath”. I still am a sensitive person. It’s part of who I am. It’s also what has helped me become the best therapist I can be.
In the therapy and mental health world, one of the most stigmatized disorders is borderline personality disorder (BPD). It’s a complicated, very misunderstood disorder, and a lot of counselors and therapists refuse to work with individuals who have BPD.
People with BPD tend to be highly emotionally sensitive. They also tend to have been historically invalidated by the people and systems closest to them. In other words, those with BPD have been given the message over and over that their emotional experiences, their high emotional sensitivity; and how they think and feel are wrong. Their feelings were minimized, dismissed, or ridiculed. They were given the message that there was something wrong with them for being highly sensitive.
I had the privilege of being raised by parents and grew up in an environment where my personal experiences weren’t treated as “flawed”, “bad”, “wrong”, or “overreactive”. My creativity was embraced. I had amazing, supportive, meaningful, and deep relationships with people. My high sensitivity was celebrated, encouraged, and supported.
My purpose wasn’t always clear and over the years morphed and changed into what it is today. From a young age, I knew I wanted to help people. As I progressed through my schooling and education, I found myself working for a variety of mental health systems and organizations, which provided me with a wide array of experiences and opportunities.
While I am grateful for all of my career experiences, I also learned some very difficult and painful life lessons. So many times, the parts of me that were celebrated earlier on in my life were now considered flaws. Things that I valued- my family, relationships, personal wellness, and being able to live a fulfilling, balanced life were being overshadowed by being overworked, undervalued, and underpaid.
After years of working in a mental health system where people and relationships were second to insurance companies, red tape, and paperwork, in addition to, getting married and becoming a mom, I knew that what I had been doing wasn’t sustainable. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend the rest of my life.
By opening my private practice, I was able to embrace the very values that were important to me. I was also able to tap into my high sensitivity and align it with my work. I now view my high sensitivity not as a negative, but rather as my “superpower”.
In my private practice, I specialize in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, borderline personality disorder treatment, and anxiety therapy. Knowing what wasn’t working, holding space for what mattered to me, and embracing my “superpower”, led to finding my purpose for creating a sustainable business in which I was able to both help my ideal clients and remain true to myself.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a highly specialized treatment that was initially developed as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. Not only is DBT the Gold Standard treatment for BPD, it has been shown to be an effective treatment for a variety of other problems, including anxiety.
My clients often come to me believing they are “crazy”. They are desperate for relief from their intense emotions and relationships that are only bringing them pain. My clients crave meaningful relationships, yet their attempts to create fulfilling connections only push others away, leaving them feeling rejected and abandoned. They find me and DBT as a last-ditch effort when other attempts at counseling or therapy haven’t worked.
DBT is such a highly specialized, sought-after treatment and because of this, many people needing treatment don’t have direct access to adherent, experienced DBT programs. My private practice is completely virtual, allowing anyone in the state of Pennsylvania seeking DBT therapy to have access to it.
As a DBT therapist in private practice, I have the privilege of helping people who originally believed they were untreatable and doomed to be “borderline” for the rest of their lives. When people work with me, they have the opportunity to finally see the light at the end of their tunnels, by creating a life that’s worth living.
I am so passionate about what I do and am honored to help the people who share their stories, and their lives with me. Being a DBT therapist in private practice has allowed me to “be me”- I am genuinely, unapologetically, authentically Sara.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. It’s ok to be a human being and desire a life outside of work.
Reflecting on my journey, I can remember how painful it felt when working for hospitals, agencies, and organizations for being punished for simply being a human being. When my daughter was little, my heart hurt at the idea of missing out on any of her developmental moments or childhood experiences. I was “scolded” when I wanted to take time off or change my schedule to attend things with her. At one of my jobs, I was laid off due to wanting to reduce my work hours to part-time so I could be more present in raising my daughter. Knowing what was important to me helped me get through these experiences and I certainly do not regret my decisions.
2. Hardship can signal a need for change.
I can remember feeling so defeated when I decided to leave a position I held for years through a state-run facility, after experiencing workplace bullying and a toxic work environment. That departure from a job that I once loved was the experience that prompted me to dream of future possibilities. The knowledge that just because one door was closing in my career path, didn’t mean that I was a failure.
3. Finding meaning.
As I look back, I’ve come to realize that I’m grateful for my past struggles. They
caused me to pivot and make changes. Every obstacle I encountered, provided me with life lessons, propelling me further down the path of my career. Without those painful challenges, I doubt that I’d have opened my private practice, where I get the privilege of helping my ideal clients and creating a sustainable, profitable business that I love.
I’d encourage anyone starting their own journey to give themselves permission to mess up.
Starting a business can be so overwhelming and intimidating. You’re totally going to make mistakes and mess up. As a highly sensitive person, making mistakes can feel like a complete failure. No one is expecting perfection. It’s part of the process.
It’s also important to know your worth and what you need to do your best work.
You need to know when things aren’t working and when things are. Be aware of what feels “right” and aligns with who you are and what you value.
As a mental health therapist, we’re often given the message that we “must” do certain things, like not prioritizing our needs and what we want. There’s no rule that dictates that being a therapist means taking a vow of poverty. So, know your worth and what works best for you, so you can be the best version of yourself possible.
How would you describe your ideal client?
My clients tend to be incredibly creative, passionate, and highly sensitive individuals who are pursuing their higher education or are already working professionally in their field. They often have careers in the arts, communications, personal wellness, and entertainment fields. While they are respected for their skills and talents, they ultimately struggle with maintaining relationships due to their self-destructive, self-sabotaging behavior.
People who work with me tend to be individuals who have “tried it all” and are still suffering.
They are tired of feeling “crazy”, and emotionally exhausted, going to extremes to try to keep their relationships, resulting in being left alone and feeling abandoned.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.saraweandlpc.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SaraWeandLPC/
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/sara-weand-licensed-counselor-and-dbt-therapist-10341613a
Image Credits
For the photos labeled “SaraWeand1”, “SaraWeand2”, and “SaraWeand3”, please provide image credit to Linnea Weand.
