Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sarah Downing. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Sarah, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
Whenever we use the word empathy, we primarily tend to think of others. However, I am here to tell you that, in order to feel empathy for others, you first and foremost need to feel empathy for yourself. Have you ever noticed how we often tend to be harder on ourselves and give ourselves less grace than we do other people? I personally believe that some of the most empathic people are those who have been through the most trials in their own lives, and have learned over time to grant themselves the grace that wasn’t always granted to them by others. My life has certainly not always been easy, but I have chosen (choice is empowering!) to learn a lot of lessons from each and every challenge with which life has presented me, and I have also allowed myself to ask the question: what can I learn from this and perhaps even: how can I use this to help others and, when appropriate, grant them more grace going forward? The other important thing about empathy is that it is crucial to remember where your energy ends and the other person’s energy begins. That is to say that sometimes we become so invested in others that our two beings become “enmeshed” and this is where unhealthy phenomena such as codependency can occur – where our own happiness and wellbeing become overly dependent on the happiness and wellbeing of others. And often we are so invested in that other person that we don’t even realize this until it is too late. But, once we do, the good news is that it is possible to pull back and reassess the relationship thus far, whilst making any adjustments that need to be made in order for the future relationship to be a healthy and mutually beneficial one.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
This ties in nicely with the previous question on empathy … I was inspired to become a Licensed Massage Therapist because of my own challenges with chronic illness and pain. I wanted to help others the way other holistic practitioners helped me. So, one thing that attracts many of my clients to my practice is the fact that I can empathize with their pain and health struggles because I have been there myself.
I strive to cultivate a very accepting, non-judgmental and welcoming atmosphere for everybody who comes to see me, and many clients who reach out to me seem to instinctively know this from my online communication. Having lived in three different countries, practiced different careers, encountered so many different types of people and mastered my own challenges, I have cultivated the ability to be able to identify with many different people in order for them to feel comfortable with me.
Of course, it’s crucial for my clients to feel at ease, so that they are open to collaborating with me in order for effective healing to occur – I believe healing is a collaboration that requires both participants to be present. No “healer” should attempt to take away the agency from the person being “healed” and nobody has a magic wand they can wave to just make pain and suffering go away. I think that this actually applies to any therapeutic or service-based relationship. I want clients to feel comfortable speaking up and expressing their needs, so I encourage them to do so. I have also studied a great deal about trauma in order to help myself, but also in order to help those who come to me. These days, I think that trauma is extremely widespread, and needs to be handled with extreme sensitivity and respect.
What else makes my brand special? Well, the fact that I am highly trained in so many unique modalities, which is exactly why I practice integrative massage because I want clients to be able to benefit from all of them by creating a customized blend tailored to the client’s wants and needs. Consequently, I charge by time instead of by modality and what you see is what you get: no upcharges. Clients really seem to enjoy the transparency of this, and many come to me for treatments such as Thai massage and cupping that you can’t always find elsewhere.
What I’m excited about: as I write this, I am just under 2 weeks away from moving from Savannah, GA to the Atlanta, GA, neighborhood of Brookhaven. I’m super blessed to have this opportunity to embark on a new adventure, and I’m extremely excited to meet new clients and help them to the best of my ability.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Be less self-critical. Understand that we are always learning and, as long as you are open to it, you can and will improve. At the same time, don’t hesitate to recognize when you have made a mistake and there is room for improvement. Learn the difference between unhelpful and constructive criticism, and learn to recognize people’s intentions. Sometimes, the delivery is lacking, but the person delivering the words cares enough to tell you something that may be more helpful than it is palatable. 2. Be more selective about who you surround yourself with. Become less sensitive to rejection, and understand that sometimes it is better to be alone that to surround yourself with the wrong people. Become comfortable with being alone, and be patient when it comes to meeting new people instead of allowing the wrong people access to you.
3. Don’t settle for something that simply isn’t a good fit. When it gets to the point that you feel like you have persisted for way too long that you are banging your head against a brick wall, recognize that it is time to make a change, and don’t be afraid to do so. The more challenges you overcome, the less afraid you will be of facing potential new ones.
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
This is a fantastic question. You will never grow if you are not willing to risk venturing outside of your comfort zone. Whilst I believe it is important to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, I also think that there are always things we can work on improving, particularly if they are things that might help enhance your current strengths. As a Licensed Massage Therapist, at the beginning of my career, I used to struggle with anatomy because the anatomy training we had at school simply didn’t fit my needs. My boss at the time helped train me and so, whilst it was something I didn’t feel comfortable with, it helped me improve in leaps and bounds. At that same job, I worked at a gym, and my whole life I had been horribly uncoordinated to the point where I was always last to be picked for sports teams at school. Again, I got another opportunity to improve this in the form of free personal training, which later led me to become a Certified Yoga Teacher. It was challenging and frustrating at times because all these things did not come naturally to me, but they certainly helped in my overall development. I do feel that we tend to shut down when we feel overwhelmed, but when we actually apply ourselves to certain things, particularly when someone offers to help us, they sometimes end up being easier than we had originally imagined. That said, there are also things I’m just not good at and have no problem asking other people to do. I do feel that in business it is more economical to focus on what you do best and, if there is something that is going to be less complex or time-consuming when outsourced, go ahead and do it because time is money.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.limegreenlotus.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/limegreenlotus_sjd/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/limegreenlotus
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahjdowning/
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/lime-green-lotus-savannah
- Other: Google Maps Lime Green Lotus: https://goo.gl/maps/iHKpikGRYbxfgoat6
Image Credits
Anne Vogt Photography Orion Pace
