We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sarah Rue a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Sarah , sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
To this day stubborn still remains to be the best adjective to describe myself, and the means in which I’ve managed to make it here. Stubborn is also the word I used to describe my mental health struggles most often. I didn’t have the easiest childhood which left me with what I saw as problems in my early 20’s, but now in my 30’s I realize they’re some of my greatest gifts that could stem from C-PTSD & ADHD.
When I started therapy in my 20’s much of the focus was simply calming my brain down and training it to understand what was a real threat and what was just random stimuli creating an overactive amygdala. Our goals were simple then, just make my brain understand it’s finally safe and then we can talk through everything that’s happened to create such damage. In due time my brain did calm. It required many countless hours of simply sitting still and breathing in a safe environment, something I’d never been privy too. Every morning, whether happiness or horrors filled my dreams the night prior, my goal was simple, catch my breath, catch the day. Days crawled into weeks, into months and slowly & stubbornly I began to hold some resemblance of a human.
In those first few years despite my progress I found myself constantly struggling, awkwardly fumbling through all social interactions whether big or small. Other humans, their cues, their energies, I simply struggled to understand how to not be weird, awkward, or be myself around others without it disturbing them. This was when I entered my next phase of healing and therapy, accepting that ADHD is real and I was in fact different. Much of me wanted to hide this from the corporate world I worked in, learning the mirror and mimic others quickly, determined that I would learn to be like them. However, without fail, every few years I’d implode from pretending to be everyone else but me and I would find myself in tears & silence sitting at the kitchen table alone needing to re-invent myself. The pandemic would break that cycle once and for all.
When the world shuttered and it appeared there was no longer a need to pretend anymore, I slowly settled into myself. A sense of radical self-acceptance took hold and I began to learn that it would serve me greater good to lean into what my ADHD had to offer, instead of hiding away. I took a self-inventory of what my ADHD allowed me to do that others struggled with. My hyperfocus towards matters that fascinate me, my ability to stay calm in intense situations, and my ability to finish what I start all were things noticeably absent from much of the young workforce that remained after the initial shutdown. These skills, albeit paired with energetic explosivity, lack of focus of the boring, and impatience with inefficiency, allowed for me to move up quickly in leadership while building a career in live production post great-resignation.
Each morning still begins with catching my breath, so I can catch the day, especially now when faced with the real challenges of not only continuing to evolve as a photographer, but also as a leader. I no longer feel the need to mimic or mirror others to fit in, for doing that served me no good and sets a horrid example.
Instead, the brightest moments of my life have come from when I’ve fully accepted myself and leapt forward bearing it all, exclaiming to the world, “Hey, I actually can do that.”
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Whimsy, wonder and woah how’d you pull that off is really all my life is about these days. I’ve been fortunate enough to be a working artist in St. Louis for the past 15 years, photographing & filming weddings, events, current affairs & portraits. Thankfully, I’ve been able to make a living doing this and it’s never really felt like work, more-so getting to play dress up with my friends allowing for a momentary escape from the harshness of reality. I’m not sure how long I’ll get to have this blessing in life, but I do my best to stay humble and active with my craft. Rarely does a day come and go where I do have a camera in my hand for at least something, as the only way to get good and stay good at something is to practice daily. In August of 2023 I celebrated 15 years of Sarah Rue Photography and the most important thing I have to say to everyone is simply, thank you!!!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I: Keep your finger on the pulse of your industry. II: Details mode is as important as director mode.
III: You have two ears and one mouth, which should be open and which should be closed?
I: Keep your fingers on the pulse of your industry-
I’ve spent more hours than I’d like to admit at bridal shows using my customer service voice trying to keep up on the latest trends in the photography & videography side of the industry. Sounds boring, often it is, however it is absolutely necessary. Clients will come to you and not always know the in’s and out’s of an event; how to style the day, what other vendors they may need, what a healthy budget really looks like etc. It’s your job to do that client a solid and help steer them in the right direction. Taking opportunities to network with other artists and vendors in your city, paying attention to the latest trends, keeping up on the every changing facets of the costs associated with operations, these are all vital things you’re going to need to know in order to keep working. Not to mention, there is more work these days than there are skilled humans to work. Building up your connections with others in your industry in your city opens you up to further opportunities for growth by simply allowing you to see how others operate.
II: Details mode is as important as director mode.
Being able to see things big picture is wonderful, and a skill that not everyone has. Being able to be hyper-focused on details at all times is also a wonderful skill that not everyone has. However, the best is a balance of both. When it comes to the composition of a image, whether it be a simple family portrait during a wedding reception, or something fantastical created in the wilderness, everything is relevant. How the light hit’s your subjects faces, how their clothes may appear wrinkled or fine, red or blinking eyes, as well as how they all flow together in the image. Just as your administrative duties need to be just as important as your brainstorming sessions, all allow you to play the long game.
III: You have two ears and one mouth, which should be open and which should be closed?
Mentors of mine and even a few current superiors in my life often joke that 90% of life is just showing up on time. If you’ve got a good attitude, good listening ears, and are competent, you can go a lot farther. Biggest piece of advice I have for young people is to absorb all that you can when provided a learning opportunity. Stay focused on what you have before you, not what others have, not what others on doing, just focus of what’s yours and doing the best job you can.
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
The past year of my life has been one filled with immense change that had I been warned about even just a few years ago I wouldn’t have believed anyone that it could and would all happen. Accepting that no one is coming to save you has been one of the hardest lessons to accept and grow from in recent months.
No one is coming to tell you to focus harder. No one is coming to tell you it’s time to stop grieving.
No one is coming to tell you how to build the career of your dreams. And no one should.
It is our responsibility as humans to be able to save ourselves, focus ourselves and build ourselves up.
Contact Info:
- Website: sarahruephotography.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahruephotography/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahruephotography/
