Meet Sasha Haydn

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sasha Haydn a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Sasha, thank you so much for making time for us today. Let’s jump right into a question so many in our community are looking for answers to – how to overcome creativity blocks, writer’s block, etc. We’d love to hear your thoughts or any advice you might have.
Most of the time I resent how much I overthink. I send myself spiraling overthinking and overemoting and overanalyzing etc. etc. It leaves me overwhelmed. However, those same conflicts are also where I get my momentum and they are what opens me up and helps me emerge from creative blocks. I am also deeply curious and stimulated by so many things—music, literature, ideas, art, and on and on that I am filled with energy—most of the time.

When symptoms of writer’s block bubble up I engage hyper-interest in the things around me and the people around me. I have a professor, Steven Rimke, who always reminds us to be interested, not interesting. He says we are all endlessly interesting as is. And I agree. Why do people say what they do? Why do they do what they do? Why do they say or do it to whom they say or do it to? And, this dichotomy can go on and on—and it can drive you crazy or drive you sane.
I’ve written songs about paper clips and safety pins, seatbelts, t-shirts… perhaps “uninteresting” interesting things.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m a student– and will be forever. I am best friends with my grandparents. I love to recycle and play boggle. Coffee is the reason I wake up in the morning. I’m a singer/songwriter who created an arts market.

I grew up consuming copious amounts of music– listening to James Taylor and Norah Jones and Bonnie Raitt and Sesame Street. I was introduced to Jazz, Motown, classical music, theatrical soundtracks, folk music, and on and on before I could speak. I was surrounded by music all the time.

My parents met doing musical theatre. I love performing, and feel the most authentically me when I say things through song . I’ve also been writing music since I was seven years old and exposing myself to poetry and writing and art of all kinds ever since. I’ve also sought out life experiences that have become urgent expression points—things I needed to write about and sing about.

I’ve struggled with some big losses in recent years, like the traumatic brain injury of my boyfriend, that have really pushed me to do my music with full attention and focused intention. With grief comes an overtaking need to express myself, perhaps find myself, and abundantly feed my soul.

Music brings me joy.
Art brings me joy.

I am releasing my fourth single, “Mercury in Marmalade,” on March 23rd. It’s a word play on “Mercury in Retrograde” and is about confirmation bias in belief systems and breakups. This is the first song I have recorded with a fuller band sound, which is beyond exciting. I have been working with Landon Alley of Soundbridge Studio, Joe Causey of Voyager Mastering and a wonderful group of studio musicians.

I continue to do theater, and I’m playing Cinderella in “Into the Woods” that will be at the Noorda Center at Utah Valley University in April. Just getting to work with Sondheim’s music is beyond a joy by itself, but of course, experiences like these give me opportunities to learn, grow, move, and perform to keep me interested and alive.

In regards to my arts market– I created Mountmartre Arts Market out of great need for connection from losing someone very close to me. Mountmartre is another play on words for the French Montmartre and the Utah skyline. The market has allowed me to make invaluable connections with creative and intellectual souls– who have become great friends. Also, we just have fun and play show and tell. It has provided me another place to work on and share my music along with other musicians.

My family and friends have supported me in the crazy endeavor I embarked on by creating the market. Knowing nothing about running a business, they have saved me from drowning quite a few times. These markets will start back up in April. I have been missing them through the Winter.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I recognize that I have not lived a very long life. Really, my credibility is not anywhere near where it should be to be giving advice. But, I can share some lessons I think I’ve encountered along the way.

The first thing coming to mind is to be curious—about everything, I may do that to a fault. I’m curious about writing, literature, politics, culture, physics, and philosophy, and everything else. I love to hear people express their curiosity about quite literally anything and everything.

Curiosity makes us more creative and makes us better people. In general, I think improving as a person who knows why they believe what they believe and how they can leave this place better than they found it, will turn you into someone who is going to resist obstacles and turmoil in a loving way.

I consider myself to be a forever student of the craft. I learned the violin when I was very young—playing Suzuki, which taught me so much about how to listen. Listening is learning. I will always be a student of singing. I’ve been on a journey listening to dozens of women singers from the past as a way to find my own voice—not to mimic, but to learn who I am.

Learn. There is so much to take in.

Take journeys– emotional and physical ones. Last summer I studied in London and other parts of England, and I went to Paris and parts of Spain. I never could have imagined being able to take a journey like that one. I never thought I would learn so much about myself in a place I knew so little about.

Do these things and write about them. (Don’t become obsessive like me about it.) I am an obsessive journal writer, and my many, many journals attest to the expressions of a madwoman. And, I guess, they are the pieces that feed every song I’ve written. Still, it might be too much.

Paying attention to people and to my own behavior is the way I feel more human. I’d say be curious before you are judgmental. It’s really easy to jump to conclusions about people. It is more time-effective to categorize people and their behaviors than to take on the complexity that makes us flawed and beautiful individuals. In a country that encourages quick-fixes and individualism, we are not well-versed in community and understanding.

As a woman who has frequented almost all creative fields, I have definitely experienced the effects of preemptive conclusions.

Love people. Truly love them. Don’t just pretend to.

Play. Spend time with children and act like them.

Now, I’d like to ask for advice. Can someone give me some? How do I know if I’m on the right path? When do I quit? When do I push harder? Where do I find connections? Where do I find help? How do I balance my life? How to keep myself healthy without dropping the ball with work? How do I set boundaries? How do I grow and change without losing the people who care about me the way I am now? How do I resist the pressures of social media while using it? + 1000 other questions. I would love to hear your thoughts. My email is [email protected].

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
I think we are all constantly facing big challenges. My challenges are really basic ones: being too busy, finding balance with too many things I need and want to do, eating right, being healthy, and sleeping enough.

And, also, very honestly, dealing with claustrophobic and incessant grief. In many ways, I think everything I’ve done in the most recent surge of my business has been born as a way to escape these feelings. I studied in Europe to escape, used my music to escape, created an arts market as a community of people to escape with, etc. I cannot lie and say that the grief of my loss doesn’t consume me in the quiet times. It does. It comes at random times. And those closest to me have to pick me up and put me back together when they are not prepared to. But yes, I have made myself quite busy to cope with it all.

I am so busy that I have to work on being present. I’m surrounded by creative people who feel deeply and experience such huge challenges that I can’t even begin to imagine experiencing. I wish I knew how they show up so enthusiastically every day to work on their craft. I don’t suffer from a lack of enthusiasm—perhaps I have too much for too many things, but I do suffer from being overwhelmed, and I admire others who seem to rise above their problems.

I think my forever battle has been and will be with balance. I have no clue how to find balance with everything—the internal and external demands on me. There is no possible way to learn and grow and be in all of the people I want to be at the same time. My endless interests provide too many things to do and to work on.

So, how do I do all of that and deal with my health and my grief and my responsibilities?.

Ultimately, it would be ridiculous to suggest I’ve resolved any of these, but I do try to address them and to focus on the things that matter the most to me and to the planet as a whole. Mostly, I find myself saying “oh well” quite a bit. I’ll sleep next week. .

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Sasha Haydn

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