We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Shalonda Edwards a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Shalonda, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
I developed my confidence and self esteem through failure. Finding myself in situations where I could not navigate as I wanted, do as I thought was best and, did not feel settled both in my personal and professional life allowed me to sit with why things were not going the way I wanted and be curious about what I wanted/ needed and what was lacking. In spaces or places where i felt I could not be myself or worse, where I was punished for doing so I learned what was not right for me and, what I could and couldn’t or wouldn’t tolerate. Figuring out what I didn’t want to do, where I did not want to be and, was not welcome; failing in certain environments helped me put myself back together and figure out a path forward. That brutal process of failing, falling apart, not internalizing the negative messages I received about myself and putting myself back together clearer and more intentional helped me to feel confident in who I was. I thought if I could put myself back together gracefully after this breakup or not getting this promotion and refine what i wanted or where i should be; I can do anything.
Being able to fail at things and not give up on myself helped increase my confidence and self esteem and eventually i learned the failure in those places and spaces was not a result of what i didnt have or couldnt do it was mostly because others were intimidated by me especially being a confident Black woman who was strong, bright and resilient- I couldn’t be broken- or I wouldnt stay that way. That made me confident and increased my self esteem. People who know anything can happen to them and, they will be ok have this kind of indestructible confidence that is necessary to be successful especially as a Black woman professional and, in business.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am a Psychotherapist trained in several different Somatic and Holistic modalities that specializes in working with Black people and individuals of the global majority. Only 4% of mental health providers are Black but, black people are 12-14% of the population so we have a large amount of people that could use services and a small amount of providers. Additionally, because of the way individuals of color or oppressed identities disproportionately experience harm it is really important for me to be implement interventions that not only utilize a lens of affirming Black people and decolonizing this experience but, helps them to practice embodiment- being conscious of our relationships to our bodies and intentional about caring for our bodies as a way to improve our mental health. These modalities are important since people of color are constantly put in situations that are meant to dysregulate us via capitalism, racism etc.
In our practice we practice mindfulness, meditation, yoga, we integrate movement, deep breathing and are intentional about getting out in nature and building community among other things. We know these holistic modalities help us to be regulated and pay attention to what we feel like when triggered, upset, happy and to consciously notice those things when they occur. Then we can practice boundaries engaging with people or spaces that are unhealthy minimally. These body-based interventions are so helpful in regulating my clients and community so we can do the deep work of healing and establishing healthy lives and relationships.
Our practice Restorative Health and Wellness based in East Longmeadow/ Springfield, MA is our communities first Black owned mental health practice that integrates these holistic modalities from a certified Holistic Practitioner and Yoga Teacher and our clients have found so much success doing the work this way. We are excited about expanding our Yoga offerings and opening our studio full time in 2024!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Trusting myself- letting my intuition and what i think and feel guide me as opposed to what other people think I should to or be, Always trust your gut, and when you cant be clear on what your gut is saying its a good idea to be quiet, remove distractions, practice meditation so you can be clear on what your gut is telling you.
Don’t internalize all the things other people tell you- Much of what other people say or how they treat you has little to do with you and a lot to do with how they see and feel about themselves. We cannot internalize what other people say about us all the time. Your opinion about you is what is most important not who other people think or say you are. Sometimes people have information that is helpful to us in being more insightful or showing us something about ourselves we arent able to see, sometimes though people are haters.
Vision and work ethic- when I started my business, I had a clear vision of who I was going to help and how. I also was super clear on who I was and wasnt. That clear vision helped drive my worth ethic in branding in networking in making myself and my business stand out from what others were doing. I also am really good at what I do, so if things get hard I always just put my head down, do the work and that clarity of vision and work ethic speaks for itself. Putting your head down and doing the work is the only way to get ahead there is no cheat code. I have seen other people come and go in this industry and the people that are successful are the ones that have great vision and, do the work.
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
Currently a challenge I am currently facing is being able to release friendships and relationships with people that are not able to be supportive of me since I started and became successful in business. I have had to learn very tough lessons in relationships including in my close friendships and family relationships. I pride myself on being a good friend and, thought many of my relationships would be lifelong. I have found that a lot of people no longer have capacity to support, celebrate or be happy for me and instead are heavily invested in being passive aggressive, minimizing my accomplishments or copying what I am doing and stealing my intellectual property all while trying to smear my reputation.
This means I have to be careful whom I share information with particularly business ideas and, whom i can be in close relationships with. One of my closest friends after telling me I would not be successful when they saw the business was successful decided to start a similar business using my contacts and relationships to compete with me after i stepped away from the relationship. This individual even went as far as to infiltrated my friend group and went on a smear campaign telling lies about me to any one that would listen. This was a really traumatic situation for me and is a common occurrence when a person becomes successful and, often the challenging behavior is perpetuated by people close to us. It has been the most challenging part of becoming a business owner and has required a good deal of therapy including EMDR to remedy.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.healingwithrhw.com
- Instagram: @healingwithrhw
- Facebook: Healingwithrhw
- Linkedin: Restorative Health and Wellness
Image Credits
Shalonda Edwards at Restorative Health and Wellness www.healingwithrhw.com
