We were lucky to catch up with Shelby Wilburn recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Shelby, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I struggled with imposter syndrome HARD as I found my own creative style and voice in the digital age. Over the years I’ve consumed so much information telling me what to wear, how to look, what to do with my life, and so much more. The feeling of lack was starting to suffocate me. I couldn’t fully enjoy the spaces I found myself in because I was continuously craving more. At one point I had nearly 6,000 screenshots of ads, products, and visuals I was supposed to “save for later”. ( Later usually never came!)
I craved relevance in the digital world to put a bandaid over deeper wounds. I was so afraid to be myself, it felt safer to try to show up as projections of “ideal” myself. When in reality, I needed to do deep work on my confidence and self-esteem. I didn’t believe in my ideas unless they had hundreds of likes. I didn’t believe in what I could bring to the table unless it was validated by external sources. I was curating my dream world onscreen, instead of facing the realities of the real one I existed in.
Until I recently stopped giving it POWER over my life.
Instead of running myself into the ground trying to BE someone, I made an active choice to stand in my own light. I gained an abundance of happiness back in my daily reality too. Sure, there are some moments when I slip back into that old mindset, but I eventually ground myself again. I don’t want to create just for the sake of fitting the trends anymore. I aim to feel confident in my work simply because I’m proud of creating it. I don’t want to over-consume and compare my idea of a good life to constantly moving targets.
We have relevance whether or not the internet confirms it. People in our life love us. Our contributions in different spaces have already made an impact. We have to realize relevance is subjective. Even just between two people, each person can find polar opposite topics relevant from their different perspectives.
We can choose to constantly see ourselves as a failure, or we can start to celebrate small wins. There is such power in being able to look at your life and move with clarity on your own accord. I am leaning into trusting myself and seeking less validation. I’m learning to simply try and see what can happen. I know the energy I aim to give to others. I know my ideas can have an impact.
Will they all happen at once? No. Will I ever be relevant on a global scale? Who knows. What I DO know is that if I never have a million followers, make a magazine cover, or walk a red carpet, my existence mattered regardless of the level. Your existence matters regardless of the level too. I’ve stopped looking to gain approval and start living my life. The time you lose waiting for it from the outside, you’ll never get back. And someday when the trends and fads wash away, you’ll have to accept the life you lived.
Make sure it’s one you’re fulfilled by!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m just a mellow gal with a love for experiences and people. You can usually catch me creating, eating, traveling, and documenting life along the way. It feels like I’ve existed in multiple universes having lived in Nevada, New York, and now here. I recently moved to San Diego in February and am finding my way into getting settled. By day, I’m a Community & Events Director, and by night, a creative storyteller. I do modeling, content creation, and brand partnerships in the lifestyle & travel space. All that information can be found on my personal website www.shelbywilburn.com.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I think the three most important qualities that have gotten me to where I am today are:
Curiosity, Pivoting, and Energy. Here’s why:
Curiosity has always kept my imagination thriving. I will take time to process things and ask questions because I want to know more. Maintaining a curious perspective on the environments and systems around me always pushed me to consider new things to try and explore. Which ultimately kept me learning, developing my skills, and finding my own creative style/voice. Don’t be afraid to ask “why?”. Don’t shy away from pushing the boundaries. You never know what gems you’ll find in places you never thought to consider in the first place.
Pivoting played a MASSIVE factor in my journey to this point! I used to view it as a negative that I changed paths and ideas. However, I’m so grateful that I continued to evolve as a creator and person. It is so easy to become stagnant and stay inside the confined boxes we’ve deemed “what we do”. However, pivoting and taking leaps toward new endeavors allowed me to actually understand what I wanted (and didn’t want). I have no regrets for trying and failing and trying again because it has shaped me to be the person I am today. I will always encourage people starting out to never be afraid of change. Take your time to reflect, listen to your gut, and do what you need to do for yourself.
My energy is what has opened doors I never thought possible. The energy you put out into the world will always come back to you. I have always tried my best to show love, support, and respect to other people without hesitation. My work is rooted in a foundation of humility. Because at the end of the day, we’re all human. People remember how you treat them and having positive relationships throughout different industries has allowed me to evolve in my craft. My advice if your starting out is that you NEVER know who is watching or who may come back around in the future. Treat people with respect, stand in your own light, and the energy will always carry through to wonderful experiences in time.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
As a new creator in the San Diego area, I’m looking to make more friends to create and collaborate with! I think the ideal type of collaborators and partners are just people who have good energy. My goal is to continue building out my portfolio of photo shoots and creative campaign concepts. If you are interested in modeling, photography, or video you can email hello@shelbywilburn.com and we can chat! Also, I have experience with modeling and brand partnership work. As I continue to explore the area, I would love to partner with brands and feature local businesses during those new experiences! Feel free to contact hello@shelbywilburn.com as well. 🙂
Contact Info:
- Website: www.shelbywilburn.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/
shelbywilburn_ - Linkedin: https://www.
linkedin.com/in/shelbywilburn/
Image Credits
Hannah Martini, Edgar Carrasco, Felicia Carter, Hannah Schultz, Jocelyn Noel, Taylor Forrest
