Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Spshelle Faith Rutledge. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Spshelle Faith, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Regularly I’m told that I exude confidence, self-esteem, and beauty “from the inside out.” I especially get complimented on the beauty of my dark skin. I agree with their sentiments, but I didn’t always, nor did I always receive these comments as people would think. The confidence and self-esteem you see when I walk and talk and how I carry myself came from a long journey of healing that involved me having to learn to see my worth and value. I grew up in a beautiful state but often dealt with being teased or feeling less than others for being dark-skinned and skinny. “Charcoal Stick” and “Black Smurf” are two names people called me outside of my own, and though I laugh now, it hurt then. I entered middle school, high school, and adulthood, having received these words I perceived to be true. I absorbed these words despite the truth my mother and father would often say: “I stem from Black Queens and Kings and a lineage of Buffalo Soldiers.” I couldn’t understand why no one else could see what my parents did. I begged my mom for perms, purposely staying away from the sun when I could with fears I’d get darker, and reduced myself to accept “you’re pretty for a dark skin girl” as a compliment.
Nevertheless, I decided to enlist in the Marine Corps, having developed a strong desire to do something purposeful yet rare with my life. I was challenged in every imaginable way. Despite the ups and downs I experienced, I was recognized for more than my skin. The good leaders in my life helped me realize my agility, physicality, confidence, self-discipline, ethics, and leadership, which widened my belief that I can do whatever I set my mind to and do it well. With the help of therapy and learning to nurture myself and accept peace and genuine love from my support system, I learned to be more bold and brilliant unapologetically. I have also been able to set boundaries confidently. Post-service would include loving ALL I am while doing what I do as a Black woman with a beautiful dark tone.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I currently work as a Program Supervisor for Breaking Down Barriers. An outreach and education program that works with Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) and the LGBTQIA+ community to discuss mental wellness. We discuss mental health stigma through educational workshops and events and connect participants to helpful resources. We also provide cultural humility/cultural competency training to community members and providers who work with these populations. We want to normalize conversations about mental wellness so everyone can thrive.
Having been a part of this program for four years, I’m most excited about how I’ve been able to provide a safe place for my community and the hundreds upon hundreds of comments I’ve gotten on how well we’re addressing such a need. It feels good to be a part of this.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Practice self-affirmations (I can… I am… I will…). Build positive, healthy relationships. Set boundaries. What I suggest to each of you is to stop worrying about things outside of your control. Ask for help because self-esteem and confidence don’t equal “I can do this all on my own” and “I don’t need nobody.” Exercise your faith, pray, meditate, and learn to be comfortable with yourself first and foremost.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
The times I feel overwhelmed, let’s say, due to working on a project too long, and as a result, I’m anxious or get a slight headache. I practice “hard stops” I drop what I’m doing and get up and walk or lay down for 5 minutes. I think or say, “the work will be there; it isn’t going away.” And then I carry on.
I advise practicing hard stops and learning not to feel guilty about them as I know at first that would come up for me.
Take walks. Go to your car or a calm place and just intentionally breathe. We’ve experienced so much the past couple of years, one of the best things we can do is show ourselves grace.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.jfssd.org/our-services/breaking-down-barriers/
- Instagram: @spshelle
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/spshelle-rutledge/
Image Credits:
Sammie Blackmon
