We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Stephanie Jones a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Stephanie, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?
Self-Care comes in many forms. In a season of life where you have a toddler and a newborn, it can look like a hot shower and washing/brushing your hair. The other extreme are full spa days where you can be pampered, massaged, polished and primped.
For me, and most of us, self-care looks more like taking a long hot bath at the end of a stressful day, eating healthy and having a balance of work, fun and play.
There was a time when I did not understand self-care. I thought getting a haircut, or buying expensive makeup was a form of self-care. This was at a time when I had zero boundaries and found myself depleted most days.
I was running on empty. Fueled by caffeine and protein bars as I ran from work to pick up kids, get home, throw some form of dinner on the table, to only leave again to whichever kids sport event was happening that evening.
Weekends were spent catching up on work, household chores, meal prepping and a myriad of places kids needed to be.
I was exhausted. And my body finally shut down, forcing me to rest.
I knew something had to change but I wasn’t sure what, or more importantly how.
That’s when I decided to check into a 12-day silent mediation retreat. Having never meditated before.
Here is what I learned:
When we quiet our mind, we know what is going on in our body. Our body knows what we need; we just need to listen.
Breathing is not just good, it is great. Learning to really breathe helps us connect to our body, calm our mind and show up from a peaceful and loving place in the world.
Silence is deafening. But it eventually becomes the norm and then the world is too loud.
This 12-day stent taught me that the world, and my family, continue on even in my absence. I didn’t come home to a home that was burned down, or a pile of dishes and laundry.
That led me to start determining what I needed for my, so I can be fully present with others that I love.
Hence, self-care.
These days self-care looks more like:
Going to the gym
Yoga
Drinking more water than coffee
Tea at night instead of wine
Hot baths
Putting on lipstick when I feel like it, for no reason at all
Lotion
Sleep – restful sleep, the full 8 hours kind
Meditation
Alone time in the quiet in the early morning hours
When we run on empty, we cannot show up fully for ourselves or others. As a coach, mom, partner, daughter, caretaker and entrepreneur – being healthy, fueled and well-rested make all of the difference.
Stealing pockets of time for just me throughout the day, having boundaries around work and family time, ensures that I am well-rested, cared for, healthy and happy. That means everyone else is happy in my presence and that is what self-care should provide.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, being the eldest daughter in my home and generation, as well as the only girl for 12 years; it was ingrained in me to be the caretaker and to sacrifice what I wanted for the sake of the family (mostly for the men), community and church.
Getting married 2 weeks after I turned 18, then divorced with 3 kids under the age of 8 and coming out as a lesbian at the age of 27 was a pivotal moment.
I was asked to leave the PTA, I lost friends and family and was suddenly a young single mother who didn’t know who I was or how I fit into the world.
Fast forward to a lot of lessons, therapy, healed relationships and boundaries and I am now happily partnered, travel full-time while coaching other busy moms.
I have close relationships with my kids and father. I live life unconventionally on my terms.
You can find me pretty much anywhere online at steph_theboundariesbabe
I also co-host and run the Thrive & Lead Summit.
January 8-12 and March 5-9
Thrive and Lead helps Online Women Entrepreneurs set systems in place in their business so they can break the busy cycle. Focusing on health and sustainable growth, we have 20+ speakers at each Summit that bring years of expertise to the table.
You can find out more info at: https://go.maggielynnolson.com/summit-waitlist
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Resilience is the strongest (in my opinion the most important) quality to live life on your terms. You need a burning desire and the ability to tune out the haters, nay sayers and no supporters.
If you are early in your journey, find a tribe. This doesn’t mean you have to leave long-term friendships and cut close family members out of your life – but it also doesn’t mean you can’t if that is what is best for you and your mental health. Your tribe can be online friends, mentors and groups of like-minded individuals. .It can be the one other “weird” mom that you hit it off with.
Anyone who encourages you to be bold and brave and outlandish is your tribe!
Patience is a skill I wish I had learned earlier. Patience with myself. Stopping to listen to my intuition. Feeling into my body to see what was right (or wrong) for me. While I don’t believe time is wasted, there is always a lesson, I could have sped up my business process by listening and trusting myself.
Being in sales and then in corporate environments, I learned a ton about business. How to run a business, read a P&L, understand taxes, accounting, hiring and firing, and more. Being an online entrepreneur is so much more than getting a certification and starting a business with no foundations.
If you are new to the business world (online or brick and mortar) I suggest reading the E-Myth, Profit First and other business books. I also believe in utilizing resources from your local Chamber, B2B Chapters, Rotary, Networking, SBA and anything else you can get your hands on to learn the how to for running a business.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
I always love collaborating! Some of my most successful moments in business have been from collaborations.
If you are a woman owned business that is looking to partner with another, I would love to chat!
I enjoy open candid conversations on IG Live, challenges, workshops, Summits, and more! The sky is the limit here!
Just reach out to me at [email protected] or find me on social media!
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/steph_theboundariesbabe
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephtheBoundariesBabe/
