We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Summer Josserand a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Summer , thank you so much for joining us and opening up about the very personal topic of divorce. So many in the community are going through or have gone through divorce and we think hearing about how others dealt with the aftermath and managed to build a vibrant, successful life and career despite the trauma of divorce can be helpful to many who might be feeling a degree of hopelessness. So, maybe you can talk to us about how you overcame divorce?
Holy cow, you know, I’ve never been asked about how I overcame divorce, so I’m picking this question. I was married from 2016-2017. A single year. Because of that, I had one of the easiest divorces. It was an Internet divorce, $300, my ex-husband filed it. No children, no shared assets—cut and dry divorce. Butttt the year I was married, was so traumatizing, I feel equal to all my other divorced peers.
To overcome—I don’t know if overcome is the right word when you’re talking about a divorce. It’s more like integration into your life. My divorce was caused by abuse and drug use, combined with my blind, youthful desire to have the life my mom and dad have. I was married at 25 in Fort Worth, Texas to an older guy who was “ready” to get married. I didn’t live with him before hand (my parents are religious), so I didn’t know what he was like at home. When we married and started living together, it did not go well. He was definitely not my soulmate. It bamboozles me to how blind I was while my abuse was happening, I was quite ignorant at that age. Not only to what was happening to me, but to how life works. I believe that I had to get married and divorced to find this beautiful path I’m on now. I wouldn’t have woken up otherwise and may have kept following someone else’s map.
This life that I’m living now is my path. It’s what I’m choosing. I’m not blind anymore because my divorce took that away. I often wonder what I would be like if I had always followed the good in my heart, makes me sad for a younger me who had to suffer to find good. My divorce and marriage taught me there is no right way or wrong way of doing life. Life is about finding what makes you do and feel good. And good often returns from that place–it’s incredible. I had to do a lot of work, trying to find my own identity after my divorce. I had to unravel the PTSD that I procured, my religious background, and I had to forgive myself for making bad decisions and rushing instead of following what was right for me. But I did it. I took the lessons and instead of going in the same way that was hurting me. I started doing what felt good for me. Now I am (what I would consider) a successful, happy, strong, young comedian in Santa Monica, California. An absolute dream. I could not be happier. And my divorce was a catalyst for my happiness. My bittersweet choice brought me here. The integration and acceptance of my choices and divorce allowed me to overcome what has crumbled others. I’m a strong lady. So, thank you ex-husband.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a new comedian on the west side of Los Angeles, California. In August of 2021, I made Howie Mandel laugh, so in September 2021, I took comedy classes through Westside comedy theater in Santa Monica, and my life has never been the same.
Comedy is so amazing because it’s constantly changing. There’s always new people, new jokes, new formats, new controversy, new things we can and we can’t do new mics, new stages. There is always something new. It’s so incredible for an ADHD person like myself. I’ve never experienced something like it. I say everyone should try stand-up just one time, and the only thing you need to know, is that nothing matters. No one is going to remember what you say on stage, no one is going to make fun of you for doing bad, everyone is there for themselves. And that feeling of joy, the energy that you give them—that’s what they want. The crowd is simply full of tiny, little energy vampires, who want to feel good, and I have so much energy to give them! The feeling of being relatable—someone understanding you and laughing because of something that happened in your life, it’s indescribable. The greatest part of delivering jokes is that ~usually~ the most honest, the least embellished, the most true stories told on stage are the funniest. Funnier than anything embellished or made up. It’s just the most beautiful art form I’ve ever been part of. Not to mention most of the community is just stellar. Finding my path, and how it’s helped and changed by my peers is wild. No one comedian’s path is the same and you just simply cannot compare yourself to one another, even though it looks and feels so competitive. But no one will be successful in the same way as another, it’s amazing!! Thank you Howie Mandel, for laughing at me and telling me I was a character! Now please let me into Just for Laughs….
You can find me on instagram @summyhaha to see a show I’m in or DM me if you want more information on how to start doing mics on the Westside of LA (:
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I’d have to say patience, honesty, and not giving an F, have been the most impactful qualities that I have learned in my journey that have gotten to me where I am now. I have to be patient now and wait for the thing that actually fits, rather than the thing that “works”, patience with others being idiots, and patient with myself when I am an idiot. No human is perfect. I am completely honest to myself and others because I know if I lie, it will just be found out later. Being honest, saves myself and others from pain. And finally, I love not giving F. Not saying be rude or throw trash on the ground, but simply not caring about what other people think about me, if whatever I’m doing feels right. When I stopped giving myself limits because of what other people might think about me, my world opened up. I was able to do and go for what I wanted, ask difficult questions, and be part of worlds that I thought others would be judgmental of. But turns out, other people do not care what you do. Maybe your mom does, but literally no one cares what you do as long as it does not affect them. In fact, they even love your “crazy” stuff when it improves their lives. So do what you want as long as it is good. All these applications to life take practice, they take you acknowledging that lying or fear are happing, and that is hard. YOU CAN DO IT! Many people live in auto pilot. So start driving for yourself. I suggest starting with patience.
To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
My parents gave me stability. They are always there for me. They love me through all my stupid mistakes. They are patient with me and kind when I need it. They weren’t perfect. No parent is, but my gosh they do their best. I am so blessed to have parents that are fearful yet supportive, they simultaneously keep me on the ground and in the sky. I don’t know how they do it. No matter what I know they’re going to be there and I know that’s a big part of what’s made me successful. I’m very fortunate to have them be so sturdy. In the comedy world I’ve heard a lot of stories, and I’ve told a lot of stories about them and I’m so lucky none of mine are sad. Just hilarious, kind people. Thanks, mom and dad.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @summyhaha
- Twitter: @summyhaha
Image Credits
Stephan Jahanshahi Three six media
