Meet Tabby Holden (Marsden)

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Tabby Holden (Marsden). We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Tabby below.

Hi Tabby, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
I had to grow up very quickly at a very young age, I learned that monsters don’t always hide in the dark and sometimes they end up being the very people who are suppose to protect you. I had people in my life who I didn’t want to be like as well as people who I looked up to. I always knew how my life would play out would be highly influenced on the path I chose to take. I watched some of the strongest people I knew crumble while the others never gave up and fought like hell to survive. Growing in an environment where screaming and breaking things was a form of communication, I knew I never wanted that for myself. I wanted peace, love, and softness, I wanted understanding and to feel safe because I knew that was something that I had never got to experience. My determination to be the light in my own life that little girl so desperately needed. I may still stumble sometimes but I will always get right back up. No matter how hard it gets I remind myself this is my story and I am the author, I am strong and brave and the only person who can take that from me is myself.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I’ve been licensed hairstylist in the beauty industry for 12 years. I worked for a small local salon called Cool Js where I’m from in Wilmington Ohio for 9 years until Covid hit. We shut down and we were one of the ones who didn’t get to re-open. I took a small break and when I did go back I landed in the Dayton area and my career took off I stayed with a salon in the area for two years then was ready to branch off of my own. The love and appreciation I have for the ones who encouraged me every step of the way starting over, is unmatched. Staying stagnant has never been for me and I wasn’t going to grow anymore until I pushed myself in greater things. I started my own business and have never been happier to have my own space I can be personable with my clients in. I can set my own rules and prices and sell my own products my opening week was last week and it was amazing I’m beyond blessed to have the support group that I have and looking forward to learning new things and expanding my career so I can continue to learn and grow.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I would definitely say social media promoting yourself, is definitely one of the top things you want to make sure you are following it’s how people find you and your business, they see your work and passion and that’s a big thing that draws people in and makes them wanna see what you are all about. Another thing is keeping in touch with your clients, be personable. Clients who feel like they are appreciated and valued will be the most loyal clients you’ve ever had. Last but not least actually probably the most important one. Don’t listen to the haters and the naysayers, they have no power over you unless you let them have it. A bully will always be that, a bully. Those people haven’t changed since high school and they never will. They are irrelevant to you and your journey and you don’t need them or their opinion to be successful. The only thing that matters is that you are putting yourself out there. You will only go as far as you are will to work for. Success isn’t something that’s handed to you, consistency and dedication to your passion and growth is key.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
I have learned to sit with it until I can find what it is I need to bring me back to where I was before I started to feel overwhelmed. I was a brainwashed people pleaser who never stood a chance of saying the word “No”. Growing up with a dad who was an alcoholic we did everything we could to not make him mad or upset him. It was programmed into my head that if he was mad and having a bad day everyone was going to have a bad day. I had to repress my emotions a lot when I needed to be able to express them. I didn’t know I was feeling overwhelmed because I wasn’t aloud to feel so once I did it became very important that I let myself sit with those and figure out what It was I needed to bring me peace of mind. The hardest thing to do is be patient with yourself and be easy on yourself especially if you’ve come from a place that wasn’t always soft and love. Dissociating so hard you don’t remember things completely because it was easier than feeling everything all at once. Knowing now that I am older it’s important to take a step back when you need to. You are not letting people down. The only person who is getting let down is yourself when you don’t take care of yourself or treat yourself with the grace and patience that you deserve. Remind yourself who you are and what you are here for.

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