Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Tijen Petersen. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Tijen, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I started dancing at the age of 3 and trained for thirteen years in classical ballet. Identifying as a dancer from a young age, I have always been aware of my body. I have felt beautiful. I have felt imperfect. I have felt strong. I have felt uncomfortable. Growing up, I found that most of my thoughts about my body were focused on how to make it better, thinner, stronger, more desirable in the eyes of society. This train of thought was on a continuous feedback loop and impacted my overall self worth.
In college I became a competitive Ballroom dancer and started my journey as a Heels dancer and choreographer, with my love for dance and performance continuously growing. However, I still found my thoughts of wanting to change my body on repeat, so much so that it became a steady background noise. One day, out of exhaustion, it hit me: What would happen if I started using my energy to embrace my body, rather than try to change it?
It wasn’t until I started sharing my stories and confiding in others that I began to help myself and lift up others. I quickly found out that I was not alone. In all facets of my life I began breaking down my old narrative and rebuilding how I saw myself. I began the practice of letting go of what other people think and doing what was best for me.
A part of that journey was taking the leap to move to New York City to pursue my career as a professional dancer, choreographer, and teacher. I was nervous but found I could more confidently rely on my skills and trust in my abilities. I have had my ups and downs in finding my voice in the city but pursuing a creative career in NYC has challenged me to become a stronger and more vocal version of the woman that moved here three years ago.
My personal journey in maintaining self confidence has been an act of turning inward. I actively practice embracing and accepting the changes in my body and through this have come to understand that my body is a resource and a gift. As the relationship to my body has become increasingly more healthy over the years, my confidence in my mind and spirit has strengthened.
When I teach my dance classes, I begin by telling my students about confidence as a core part of my training framework. I define confidence in two parts. First, confidence starts with believing that you are perfect and worthy, exactly as you are in this moment. Second, confidence is expressed when you have a clear understanding of your unique gifts.
Through lots of unlearning and learning, reflecting, dancing, movement, and community, I have come to realize that confidence comes from a place of true alignment with yourself and ownership of who you are, no matter who that is in this moment. I have found that confidence generates more confidence in yourself and within others. The more we believe and trust in our own gifts, the more we give others the permission to do the same.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am a heels dancer, choreographer, and teacher in New York City! I use my platform and classes to promote self confidence that comes from self reflection and owning your unique combination of gifts. My favorite thing about what I do is getting to continuously meet new people. I believe that as much as there is to share and teach, there is always even more to learn from the people around me.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
If I think back to my experience so far as a creative, there are three mindsets that I carry with me that have helped me throughout my journey:
Know your “Why”: Being a creative person can take you in many directions. I have felt inspired by artists of all kinds and it is easy to want to try to do everything. There are also environments that can make you feel discouraged or make you want to give up. When you know your why and can use that as a touchstone throughout your creative journey, you will always find that you come back home to yourself. And that is where the beauty of your art resides.
Be humble and be confident – find the balance: Knowing your worth is an incredible asset in the creative world. But there is always more to learn. Finding the space where these overlap is where you will thrive.
Know your support system outside of your craft: Being devoted to your art is important in developing it to it’s full potential. Having people outside of your art is what helps you have perspective and feel held when you need to rest. Finding inspiration outside of your art is an incredible way to feel rejuvenated to continue creating.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
When I was growing up, my parents encouraged me to be involved in a broad range of activities in school, outside of school, and in our community. In addition to dancing up to 7 days a week, I was enrolled in community art classes, a variety of sports, science & engineering programs, girl scouts, music lessons, choirs, musical theater, volunteer groups, outdoor programs, and more. My parents also valued and prioritized traveling as an additional form of education and cultural exposure. My parents valuing these experiences for me was impactful in and of itself, but it taught me more than just skills in different areas.
First, I was constantly exposed to different ways of thinking, people of a range of ages, and seeing people that were passionate about different topics. I learned how to connect with all types of people and it helped me understand that there are an infinite amount of ways to see the world. And by seeing how other people identified and behaved, it helped me solidify my understanding of who I am and connect to where I come from.
Second, I learned how to constantly get out of my comfort zone and learn to adapt to new spaces. I leaned toward being more shy as a kid, rarely speaking up in group settings and slow to jump into the activity. Overtime, I shortened the amount of time it took to adjust to new places and people, and started looking forward to it. Now as an adult, I find myself actively placing myself in environments where I will be challenged to learn even more.
Third, getting to make decisions about what I wanted to stay involved in or stop attending was where I first experienced having agency in my day to day and broader life decisions. This was an incredibly important part of building my confidence in taking ownership of my actions and setting myself up for success.
I was incredibly privileged to have the means and ability to try all of these activities and to have parents that supported my choices. It’s never too late to try new things and expand your horizons for yourself.
Contact Info:
- Instagram:www.instagram.com/thequeentij
Image Credits
Geo Mantilla, Kyran Marshall, Patience O.
