We recently connected with Tracey Zhang and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Tracey, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
My journey toward developing self-confidence begins with refining what confidence truly means. I used to believe that confidence revolved around having an extensive list of achievements, surpassing others, or being the life of the party. However, my perspective shifted one day when I heard a speaker share an example: “Confident people are not those who effortlessly socialize with everyone at a networking event; instead, they are the ones comfortable with admitting they don’t know everyone and asking for help.”
That flipped my perspective on confidence. It’s not about achieving everything or excelling at everything. Rather, it’s about feeling at ease in your own skin, unafraid to reveal your insecurities or seek help when needed. And reaching that state, I’ve realized, requires self-acceptance and self-understanding.
After this revelation, my focus shifted from the external to the internal. I started delving deeper into understanding, accepting, and connecting with my inner self. One powerful strategy that worked wonders for me is embracing silence. As I began to slow down, pause, and immerse myself in the silence and stillness around me, I found myself better able to listen to my heart, grasp my true self, and wholeheartedly embrace self-acceptance. That, for me, laid the groundwork for building confidence.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a purpose-driven coach, writer, and spiritual mentor who helps individuals heal, grow, and thrive through major life transitions.
My coaching journey began during a transformative phase in Vancouver, a time when I was experiencing numerous life transitions that prompted profound healing and inner growth. Through these experiences, I uncovered a deep passion for helping others flourish during transitional periods. Motivated by this revelation, I completed a coaching training program at Rhodes Wellness College, an ICF-accredited course, and launched my coaching business in 2022. Since then, I’ve guided nearly 100 individuals on a 1:1 basis and have helped them overcome anxiety, find clarity, and create deep fulfillment.
A major part of my coaching is a process called Build Your Inner Strength. This practice is about learning how to take back your power, listen to your inner voice, and generate a feeling of certainty in yourself when nothing in the environment supports you.
In the tapestry of inner strength, there are many threads and qualities, but to me, the most profound essence comes from our inner sense of belonging—a connection, acceptance, and alignment with ourselves. It’s this intimate relationship that makes us unshakeable, resilient amidst external changes. In my coaching practice, I strive to create a nurturing space where my clients can freely express their thoughts and emotions. Together, we navigate strategies to embrace self-acceptance and compassion in challenging moments. At the same time, we craft personalized plans to bravely face fears and take meaningful steps towards a brighter future.
Beyond my one-on-one coaching, I’ve poured my heart into crafting an Inner Peace Workbook and an Emotional Healing E-book. These personal resources are my way of helping individuals nurture a clear and resilient inner space, empowering them to move beyond challenges and rediscover the strength to step onto a new path. For more details, feel free to explore my website.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
One of my favorite authors is Paulo Coelho, and he has this powerful quote that resonates deeply with me. It says, “The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” I believe this wisdom applies to almost every area of life. Thus the first two qualities I choose are courage and patience. Additionally, the third one I would add is flexibility.
Courage: Fear is the primary obstacle that holds people back from accomplishing their dreams. What I’ve come to realize is that the more fear we hold, the more fearful situations we attract into our lives. The best approach to overcoming fear is not to avoid or escape it but to confront it head-on. To confront our fears, we need courage—the courage to embrace change, try something new, step outside our comfort zone, and, of course, bounce back after life throws curveballs.
Patience: Healing takes time, and anything worth pursuing requires time. It can’t happen overnight. Patience is crucial, especially during challenging times. It is what keeps us going, and those who are patient will eventually get what they want. Cultivating patience involves slowing down, being mindful of everything around us, and accepting things as they are.
Flexibility: Life is full of ups and downs, and nothing is permanent. Having flexibility is essential for coping with unexpected changes. Flexibility means letting go of our expectations of how things should be and accepting them as they are. When we surrender and flow with the river, life opens up in the most amazing ways. We will end up exactly where we need to be exactly when we need to be there.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
I used to have many misunderstandings about surrendering. It felt like giving up or not pushing hard enough. But the book <The Surrender Experiment> by Michael Singer completely changed my perspective. Surrendering, it turns out, is the exact opposite of what I thought. What truly inspired me in the book was the author’s decision to embrace new experiences, even those he initially resisted. He chose to surrender and be open to life’s opportunities, and the results were far beyond his imagination. That, to me, is the genuine essence of surrendering. It doesn’t mean giving up on life; instead, it’s about releasing our ego and personal preferences, facing our fears, and having the courage to step outside our comfort zone. It’s about relinquishing control and wholeheartedly embracing whatever life presents us with.
To surrender means choosing to participate in life with a quiet mind and an open heart.
A quiet mind entails letting go of constant self-analysis, personal preferences, and ego-driven thoughts. Much of our suffering comes from obsessing about ourselves. However, if we shift our focus to serving others and let go of our desires, we can find instant relief.
An open heart means being open-minded, flexible, and courageous. Confronting our fears and being willing to do things we initially resist are significant parts of this process. If you’re contemplating surrendering, start by addressing your fears. Instead of avoiding them, confront and take on tasks you don’t want to do. This, I’ve found, is the pathway to surrendering to life.
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