We recently connected with Vanessa Ferlaino and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Vanessa, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
I believe that the question of finding our purpose is more of a spiritual discussion… in our conditioned society, it is easy for our passions to be misattributed into and out of us based on the beliefs of the dominant culture (ie. “mainstream”). Our purpose is within, so finding our purpose is really that inward journey of shedding the conditioning and finding alignment with our intentions. Hence, I believe our purpose is more tied to the spiritual beliefs we hold about our individual Selves, as this will impact the beliefs we hold about others and each of us that are in our collective communities (this could also be considered the perspective of “world views”, which I will not dive into today, but in the event someone may be interested in exploring this more).
From a spiritual perspective, I believe our overall purpose as a human being is to live, to exist, freely. This freedom, this liberation, is really a manifestation of inner peace and unconditional love; the love that we have for ourselves comes from the acceptance of who we are, all of our “parts” (the “trauma part” of us, the “love part” of us, the “inner child part” of us, etc.). When we accept all of these parts for who/what they are, we are at peace and we love freely all of the perceived ups, the perceived downs, the perceived highs, the perceived lows… these are “perceived” because really, to live freely, is really just the acknowledgement of one moment, one feeling, flowing into the next. This flow is inner peace, as we are living our truest Self, our truest form.
Once we experience this for ourselves, we find a deep fiery appreciation that enflames into gratitude.
And from this gratitude comes our purpose. Our soul mission. To share all that we have experienced with others, so that we all experience this warmth, individually and collectively.
This is the intention.
Reflection or meditation upon that will reveal this purpose to us and how to share that with the world. That, and time. Allowing our intentions and purposes to come together and evolve and be presented to us.
I maintain this connectedness with my intentions and purpose by engaging in practices that keep me as grounded as possible — grounded in that I can be my truest form. From a practice level, I wake up, engage in yoga, meditate, and then walk my dog. At night, I shower/bath or even just simply wash my feet while sitting on the edge of the bathtub; then I brush my teeth, lather on some olive oil as a natural body lotion. Then I will engage in another yoga and meditation practice, before I find myself in my bed next to my dog.. and suddenly it is the morning…
Finding our purpose is about going within to create the conditions of inner peace for our truest Self to thrive, so we can honour intentions and allow for our soul mission to be presented to us. The self-care rituals I described at the end are really to enhance that entire journey, but if you honour the journey itself for what it is, this is what will allow you to live your soul mission.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My intention is to inspire all of us to actively pursue our own inner journeys. In this way, we can be empowered to live our own authentic ways and then offer that back to our world and society.
This intention is embedded into my very being, into every breath I take, every step, every thought… it manifests in tangible forms through my writing, my artistry, and my community activism work.
As a writer, I wrote my award-winning book Human to inspire us all to acknowledge how some of our ignorance really keeps us from authentic connection with ourselves and with one another. The hope is the reader will reflect on how this makes up their own inner realities, and also how this impact their outer reality, and any ramifications on not just our personal lives (ex. workplace, friendships), but also on our physical and natural world (ex. climate change, social injustices, etc.). The story of Human was a revelation I experienced personally, and felt something we all witness, but don’t actively explore. So, I wrote about it.
Of course, since the time of writing Human, this core premise has evolved further… as an artist, I play music that captures the infinite nature of moments and this connection to our inner and outer world.
As an activist, I explore all of the human challenges in today’s the world, the challenges of being human, and how we can challenge ourselves to be more human for the greater good on my show The Human Challenge.
And finally, my non-profit, The Being Human Foundation, which takes the core pillars of mindfulness, arts and culture, and community activism to empower humankind toward a more compassionate, trauma-informed world. These core pillars come together in key areas of environment/climate change, gender-based violence, and social equality, with a major focus on indigenous rights.
Be welcomed to follow me on @vanessaferlaino on Instagram to not miss any of the amazing initiatives we will be announcing shortly through the foundation … some more book news might be included… and maybe some exciting new ON-SITE episodes of The Human Challenge … who knows…
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I would say I underwent a massive transformation in my perspective, which is neither a quality, skill, or even area of knowledge per se…
I think the commitment I held to myself, to being true to who I am, despite being challenged by society time and time again, has had the largest impact on my journey, and always will. It keeps me honest with myself. This commitment keeps me dedicated to pursuing projects and initiatives that I believe in (which is crucial for being able to nurture my energy stores) and allows me to continue to explore different practices that keep me grounded in my truest Self. I suppose this as a “skill” would be considered “resilience”.
Growing up, I had a hypersensitivity that really kept me firm in this commitment. Because I experienced the world around me so viscerally, I often had to stay committed to myself because being a child who could not only hear people’s traumas and hurt and pain on such a deep level but also feel them in my own body as if they were my own, was a lot, especially because being so young, I didn’t have the words to describe this experience. And often when I did try to express it, I was shunned or shamed for it. So, this commitment really forced me to actively reflect on me, my beliefs, and what others felt. Sure, it meant I was quiet about it, but I never shutdown that voice. I honoured it within, even if it was not honoured outside.
This led to a natural development of discernment, awareness, and eventually, through many different explorations (including acting training), I found a home in mindfulness and spirituality. This eventually led me to pursue my mindfulness meditation instructor certification from The Lab of Meditation, recognized by the International Mindfulness Teacher’s Association, where I finally had words for the many things I experienced and stayed true to, but just didn’t know there was a whole language behind. And even then, much of these beliefs are really so personal, that there aren’t always words for these experiences. Sometimes the language is just the sensations, the feelings in the body, “the voice without words” as often quoted by the ancient poet, Rumi. I would consider “discernment” and/or “awareness” another skill, as this is what allows you to separate what is “yours” from what is “not yours” to stay in tune with your intentions. Please be welcome to meditate with me on the free Insight Timer app.
For anyone walking this path, this very dance we call “life”, I offer these words: honour this commitment to yourself and honour yourself. There are times where these two honours will conflict, and that is simply the product of being told who you are supposed to be, as opposed to being who you are. If you can honour both, eventually these commitments will align and you will become your intention. But be patient and kind to yourself through the turbulence (“patience” being the third skill and kindness to yourself or what is also known as “self-compassion” being the bonus fourth skill). There is no endpoint, only a destiny to live, a path to walk, a dance to dance, and air to breath.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
I am always open for collaborations, especially for my show, The Human Challenge, and my non-profit, The Being Human Foundation.
I am interested in stories that really challenge each of us as humans to challenge what we know, especially for the show, and then harnessing these new ways of thinking into activism that can be supported with The Being Human Foundation.
One collaborator I am excited to be working with for an initiative that I will be honoured to announce soon used the term, “soul family” to describe her team. It was not only a beautiful word that really resonated with me, but it was a very true testament to the team she had built. When I met them all, there really was a beautiful connection between each of them, and I really felt it. From the moment the meeting started, I felt so at ease. And everyone really fit together so naturally… to be on the receiving end of that energy to the point where it impacted me in such a beautiful way was so welcoming. This is the experience I both welcome and offer in my collaborations; ones of true authenticity.
Please be invited to contact me at https://vanessaferlaino.
Contact Info:
- Website: vanessaferlaino.com
- Instagram: @vanessaferlaino
- Linkedin: https://LinkedIn.com/in/vanessaferlaino
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@vanessaferlaino
- Other: Insight Timer: insighttimer.com/vanessaferlaino
Image Credits
first upload (major image): Jodi O of Jodi O Photography second upload (first 6 minor images): Khrystyna of Khrystyna Ria Photography second upload (piano playing image): uncredited
