We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Xandra Hawes, MA, LPC. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Xandra below.
Xandra, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I love this question. I wish I had known when I started my business that feeling inadequate or unskilled would arise heavily within the first few years. Being a “real” entrepreneur means getting familiar with failure, and learning how to recover quickly when a decision leads to lackluster results. Ultimately, if you can recognize what went wrong, take in all the lessons, and recalculate your steps, you can get farther ahead if you look at the process with self-compassion and self-acceptance. Imposter syndrome is maintained by the mindset of perfection or the idea that creating a successful business means you do everything right. You will kill your business in less than a few years if you don’t see it as a learning process, and your intuition needs to heavily guide it.
Following someone else’s business model might get you to success, but if it hasn’t been in line with your values and passion, it will feel uninspirating. For an entrepreneur, only making money without being excited about the work leads to burnout and a lack of purpose. Also, comparison and unhealthy competition create negative self-talk and fear rather than motivation. For me, sharing my anxiety or fears with my peers and other business owners helped me immensely in getting through mental blocks and seeing next steps.
As a spiritual entrepreneur, I had to learn many business rules and strategies to guide my choices and growth, but I believe the heart ultimately decides what works best. My business is built on my belief in serving others, which causes me to balance my own need for income with the love of ensuring the amazing humans I work with get high-level support. My business is not built on the main goal of making money for myself, but it is a huge benefit that comes with the work I do. Whenever I make the business all about me, I lose track of the real reason I created it: To help people heal. My imposter syndrome began to fade out when I balanced making good business decisions with holding the love I have for people in balance. Also, when it came to tasks in my business, I began asking myself the question, “Does this inspire me?” And if it didn,’t, I found someone else to help me with it, or I let it go. That’s the magic question to ask yourself when you get stuck as a business owner. If you’re inspired, you’ll find energy and drive you didn’t know existed.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
My business, Soul Essence Psychotherapy, is grounded in helping clients establish a mind-body-spirit connection with themselves so they can access their inner wisdom and vital health. The holisitic therapy we provide is grounded in four things: transpersonal therapy, mindfulness therapy/Buddhist-psychology, somatic therapy and guided energy healing.
As a licensed professional counselor and an ordained minister, I hold a very unique, non-denominational lens. I see all people as very wise souls that feel out of alignment with who they are and what they find purpose in. I work with highly sensitive people, empaths and starseeds that struggle with anxiety, overwhelm, depression and other emotional struggles and mental health issues due to their sensitivity and care for the world.
The spiritual therapy that we offer is a very holistic modality. and the therapeutic relationship is uniquely personalized to include your big questions, world views, overall mental health, passions, inspirations, and values. We believe that everyone has a unique soul essence, and when you reconnect to this inner wisdom, you’re able to go of difficult emotions, thoughts, tensions, and fears more easily, resulting in greater mental health, self trust, self-care and balanced decision making. We believe that uncovering your true nature and your sacred inner knowing is a deeply personal ethical code, and it deserves love, time, and space to be honored and healed.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Beyond the training, I received to become a counselor. the three areas of knowledge that were most impactful for me were: psychic-mediumship training, business coaching, and meditation retreats. I studied with dozens of spiritual teachers all over the globe that taught psychic-medium-based skills and wove this together into my own modality. I began to see all the amazing overlaps between traditions. It has allowed me to honor my lineage and deeply respect those of others.
Second, I invested in a year of group business coaching to better understand the ins and outs of making good business decisions. It helped me recognize my values and taught me a lot about working with fear. Hearing other business owners process their successes and failures was also deeply important for depersonalizing the highs and lows of building a business. I realized that if I wanted to be successful faster, I needed to bring people in for support.
Third, making time to go on solo meditation retreats allowed me the space I needed to step back from my business and focus on interpersonal work. It was easy for me to fall into my business and become it, and taking 5-7 days off every 6 months or so and going into nature filled my cup. I always came back with new inspiration, a clear vision, and personal growth goals that would support my deeper unfolding. It is easier for me to hear my intuition and connect with my guides away from the city, so heading into the mountains and staying near lakes or forests was huge for maintaining my spiritual connection to my etheric support system.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
To be honest, my family members and friends have been crucial in providing emotional support and strategy, but my spiritual guidance system has been the most helpful. I have dozens of spirit guides, and establishing a strong connection with them has been my saving grace. Being able to ask questions like, “Is it in my highest alignment to sign a lease here?”, or “Is this the best time to invest in this service?” has been big in guiding me towards success. This doesn’t mean every decision I’ve made has been perfect, but I’ve felt very loved and supported in each step. Also, I’m deeply connected to my soul essence, and my spirit talks to me through my intuition. Learning to hear and trust this type of support has been a deeply meaningful journey combined with creating a spiritual business. Being a spiritual entrepreneur has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever stepped into receiving. I get to help amazing people every day and feel nourished by the financial abundance that occurs from it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.soulessencepsychotherapy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulessencecenter/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandrajhawes/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@soulessencecenter
- Other: Podcast (also on Spotify, apple and Google podcasts): https://www.soulessencewellnesscenter.com/podcast
Image Credits
Lauren Ellie Photography
