Story & Lesson Highlights with Adam McCoy of Franklin, VA

We’re looking forward to introducing you to Adam McCoy. Check out our conversation below.

Adam, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What do you think others are secretly struggling with—but never say?
I think a lot of people are quietly struggling with the gap between who they are right now and who they hoped they’d be. In the fire service especially, we get good at looking squared away even when we’re worn down, worried, or stretched thin at home.

Most won’t say they’re tired or unsure of their next step. It comes out sideways instead, through burnout, irritability, or just feeling disconnected. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

To me, that’s the hidden struggle. Not weakness, just people trying to figure out the next small step forward without admitting how heavy things feel.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Adam McCoy, a firefighter from Virginia and the creator of Unkie’s Seasoning. My whole brand was born out of firehouse cooking, where simple ingredients, bold flavor, and good stories always bring people together. What started as homemade blends I made for family and the guys on shift has grown into a company that now sits on store shelves across Virginia and North Carolina.

I’m also the author of Stepping Up, Stepping Out, a book about the real side of the fire service and the work it takes to show up better at home and at the station. A lot of my story is tied to the same message behind my seasoning brand: community matters, food brings people together, and the firehouse has a way of shaping who you become.

Right now I’m growing Unkie’s Seasoning, expanding our lineup, building more firehouse-inspired content, and connecting with people who see a little of their own story in mine. Everything I do comes back to the same goal: create things that make people feel seen, supported, and connected, whether it’s a meal, a story, or a moment around the table.

Okay, so here’s a deep one: What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
One moment that changed how I see the world was the first time I realized I couldn’t save someone who clearly needed more help than I could give. It was early in my career, and I walked out of that scene carrying a weight I didn’t have the tools to put down.

Our brains get trained to see the worst parts of life. We see death, destruction and chaos on repeat. We watch people at their lowest moments, shift after shift, and eventually your mind starts looking for more of it. You stop enjoying the normal parts of your own life without even realizing it.

The second moment that reshaped everything for me was when my daughters were born. That cracked something open in me. It made me more patient, more aware and a lot more intentional about the way I show up for others and for myself. It reminded me that everyone is carrying something unseen, everyone is fighting a silent battle.

Those two moments are a big reason Stepping Up, Stepping Out exists. They pushed me to quit pretending I had to muscle through everything alone and start figuring out how to move forward with honesty instead of hardheadedness.

What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
One of the defining wounds of my life came from my wife’s battle with depression. I made the mistake of tying my entire sense of happiness to hers. I thought if I could just love her harder, support her more, show up perfectly every day, then she wouldn’t hurt anymore. But you can’t carry someone through something that heavy by yourself, and trying to do it nearly broke me. I poured everything I had into being her anchor and ended up sinking right alongside her.

The turning point was realizing I couldn’t make her my only source of happiness. I started therapy. I started reading again. I leaned into building my business. I began finding small pieces of joy that belonged to me, not borrowed from someone else’s well-being. And once I started getting steadier, it created space for her to breathe and heal too.

When our twin girls were born, it shifted everything again. They showed me unconditional love without me having to earn it or perform for it. That helped me heal in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

I didn’t fix the wound by pretending it didn’t exist. I healed by learning that loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
My closest friends would probably say that what matters most to me is showing up for the people I care about. I’m not perfect, but I’m loyal. If you’re in my circle, you’re in for life. They’d also tell you I take being a husband and father seriously, even when I stumble. My girls are the center of my world, and my friends see that in how I make decisions and what I pour my time into.

They’d say I care about purpose too. Whether it’s the fire service, Unkie’s Seasoning or writing my book, I want the things I do to mean something. I don’t want to just talk about helping people; I want to actually create things that make a difference.

And honestly, they’d probably joke that I care a little too much about feeding people. If you’ve ever been around me in a kitchen or at a firehouse table, you know that’s how I show love.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. If you knew you had 10 years left, what would you stop doing immediately?
I’d stop delaying joy. I’d stop putting off the trips, the moments, the projects, the memories. I’d stop acting like there’s always more time. If I only had ten years left, I’d devote every day and every minute to my family. My children are my legacy, and I’d pour everything I have into the years I get with them. Because when the clock is real, the things that matter get simple fast. Family, purpose, and the people who actually show up. Everything else falls away pretty quick.

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