Angelino Beaubrun shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Hi Angelino, thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
Right now I believe I’m being called to pursue my art career full time. Since my last interview, I have dropped out of RMCAD for the second time. After giving it a second chance I once again found myself unmotivated and babied by paying for classes where the homework was “Show an example of copy and paste in Photoshop,” and underwhelmed by lack of critique on my work. “I have no notes, this is good” was what some instructors told me, to the point where I asked myself “then why am I here?” Despite that, my entries for art shows hosted by the school awarded me with honorable mentions, so surely I could be taught something, they just didn’t tell me what. The final nail in the coffin for me was finding out growing use and acceptance of AI on campus. They created and promoted a support bot running on chatGPT, and on top of that, an instructor at the school had been using AI in his work, had it submitted to a gallery which later featured his work. How hypocritical of an art school of all places to appropriate the one thing that’s not only environmentally harmful, but is actively overshadowing and stealing from creatives today. My work was already selling, my Instagram received a decent amount of exposure for someone who was hardly active on it. I was already talented, I don’t need a school to tell me that.
The one thing I do lack is consistency. I start projects, worry about the “what ifs” and scrap them. What I lacked was confidence in myself. I let the fear of failure stop me from going after what I truly wanted: To be a local vendor, To create comics, To travel the world and learn art through experience rather than a classroom. This year has been very eye opening for me. On the week of my 25th birthday, I admitted myself to rehab. I’ve been dealing with alcohol abuse for about 6 years. It took a lot of courage to choose myself over my job, my friends, and the lie that I was doing okay. After completing my time in rehab I decided not to go back to my job. I did not feel like I was growing. I began to detatch myself from relationships that drained me, relationships I chose to keep for the sake of not being alone. At this point now, I’m about 2 months sober, with no job, fewer friends, and bills demanding my attention. I sat in this still season asking myself, and the universe “What’s next for me?” I feel something bigger than myself wants me to do what I love. In just the first month of being back home I’ve been fortunate to have many opportunities basically fall into my lap. I am currently being requested to have my work displayed at Town Hall Arts Center in Littleton next year. I’ve had other artists recommend me to be a vendor for several big events in Denver next summer. I was even emailed by Canvas Rebel not too long after this silent prayer to myself, and here I am now taking the opportunity.
My work is good, It always has been. I’ve proven that. What’s next for me is to find my own drive. To go for what I want without fear of consequence. I’m getting back on it, working on a comic series reflecting the struggles of insecurity and substance abuse. I’m learning my stories deserve to be shared, not kept in an archive folder. I can have a place in the art world taking commissions. The door is wide open, the only thing left to do is walk through it and try.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Angelino, and I’m a Black queer illustrator in Colorado. I create works that make people question the world around them, as well as self portraits to reflect my inner state of mind. My inspiration mostly comes from my desire to commentate on organized religion, my deconstruction, and politics that ignorantly dictate how humans should live their lives. I play with several art styles, my digital illustrations are often bold in color and in your face with a comic book aesthetic. My traditional pieces and digital paintings tend to be more surreal, bordering on beautiful and ominous with a limited palette. I also create fanart of my favorite franchises like Chucky and Splatoon. I think what makes my art interesting is my attention to detail, I believe my work can’t be compared to another artist since my style is so unique. I use traditional techniques in my digital paintings and vise versa.
I’m currently open for commissions as I’m working on new paintings that will be featured in a gallery in Littleton during spring of 2026. I am also writing two comic books with stories and characters that are very personal to me. One reflects the life of two men dealing with substance abuse as they learn the world and seek out their purpose in life through their mid twenties. The other follows a trio of supernatural beings with different perspectives on religion and spirituality. A fallen angel who feels neglected by god, a vampire who renounces the spirit world, and a clairvoyant overwhelmed by the truth of spirituality vs religion. Both of these stories revolve around my life choices as a recovering alcoholic, and a recovering religious nutcase. I get in depth of my day to day life through these characters, They are pieces of me, and I hope I can speak to those who’ve been through similar struggles.
If you are interested in getting custom artwork by me, feel free to reach out via email or my social media platforms! I want art to be my primary source of income. As cost of living gets higher and the wages of mundane, high stress jobs remain stagnant, why shouldn’t I just support myself over a company that sees me as a replaceable tool? Any kind of support, even checking out and sharing my work, leaving comments on what you like, and following my journey is greatly appreciated!
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
I’ve always enjoyed reading. I remember stopping by the library after school when I was younger, grabbing a few books at a time and spending hours getting lost in the different worlds. Even today, I read mostly fiction. I was never the type to get into inspirational or self help books until this year. It all began in June when I was approached by a Buddhist who offered me a few books on their practice. The one that stuck out to me was “The Four Questions: A Pathway to Inner Peace” by Vaisesika Das. What is my purpose? How may I be of service? What is the lesson? Where am I investing my attention? These questions aligned with me as someone in their mid twenties, the age of outgrowing childish routines and forming a sense of purpose through my own understanding.
I had been a very codependent person through most of my life, neglecting my voice for others’ comfort. Abandoning myself to not stir any pots. These behaviors kept me resentful especially to those around me. I was investing my attention in the opinion of others. My sense of self worth depended on what others thought of me.
As I live a new life in sobriety from alcohol and people pleasing I found myself in another book, “The Courage to be Disliked” by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. This one I heavily recommend to anyone who feels stuck in their traumas. It’s a dialogue between a philosopher and a student, who shares the opinion of its intended reader. The youth is holding himself back. “I can’t be happy,” He says “If only my parents raised me better, or if I looked more attractive, or if my circumstances were easier, then my life would have meaning.” This book did bring me to tears at times, I felt like the author had somehow taken old thoughts and journal entries of mine and published them for the world to see. The philosopher he is talking to keeps an open mind, suggesting the only thing holding the youth back now was himself. Life is simple, all problems are interpersonal relationship problems. As soon as you are able to boil life down to “I can only control my tasks, not what the people around me do, so what do I want?” life gets easier to go through. With this in mind, and asking myself the Buddhist question “what is the lesson?” when faced with challenges, I find myself with an overwhelming sense of courage. I still get anxious, I still have bad days of course, but I’m able to accept these moments rather than run from it today, which makes the good days even greater. When I look at hardships as a lesson teaching me, rather than something bad happening to me, I break out of the victim mentality I’ve been living with for so long.
And I see the fruits of my labor. Day by day I’m learning my authentic self is good, that I’m enough simply by existing, and that I have the power to uplift and inspire others with my truth. I believe that is my purpose, to create and be an example to those who think their voice doesn’t matter.
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
I grew up very insecure and codependent, seeking love from anyone but myself. My childhood wasn’t the greatest, I was verbally and physically abused, and criticized by family for being myself. I had a handful of bullies in school who only reinforced the idea that I was unlikable. I made some friends, but even then I often felt like I was “too much,” toning down my energy especially when said friends had moments telling me they couldn’t handle it.
This led to me using alcohol and marijuana to cope when I turned 19. I thought if I could silence those anxious thoughts and get that liquid confidence I’d be likable. It was an act I had to keep up, and it was exhausting. The intoxicated me made friends who liked my boldness, my loose cannon nature, and I thought if I sobered up now they’d leave me. The binge drinking was affecting my health. My depression and anxiety worsened, I grew paranoid, and I started getting heart palpitations. On the week of my 25th birthday, I clocked into work hungover and my heartbeat became irregular. I couldn’t finish my shift so I called my manager, closed the store and took myself to urgent care. This was the last time I was hospitalized for drinking. From there, I was the most vulnerable I’ve ever been to the nurse staff and to my family. “I can’t keep living like this, it’s killing me. I need help.”
I admitted myself to a 7 day detox program, and from there I was transferred to a 30 day rehab. During my stay I was left to face my issues and emotions I’ve buried for almost my whole life. I don’t even like the taste of alcohol, I was using because I hated myself, I was afraid to be myself. It was there I learned before any addiction to substance, I was addicted to attention, the desire to fit in and be liked. I had believed if I had enough friends or get my past crushes to like me I’d finally have worth. Sobering up in an environment of other kind courageous addicts in recovery made me see that wasn’t true. I have worth because I’m still here, I’m alive and breathing. And they all liked me. They sat up to listen to me when I spoke in group, they valued what I had to say and even used my revelations to motivate themselves. The only version of me they’ve seen was the sober me, and they had nothing but kind things to say about it. I was given a journal during my stay, and I dedicated the first page to writing down every kind word, every compliment given to me by staff and the other residents. I’m proud to say that page is full. “I am appreciated.” “I am resilient.” “I’m an inspiration.” “My presence is prolific.” “I am a great artist.” “I was created to create.”
Reading “The Courage to be Disliked” has been gospel to me. It opened my eyes to habits I have, tasks that didn’t belong to me but chose to take on, that I can’t control the world around me but I can change how I can react. Life is very much like the “yes, and” technique of improv, denying what’s happening kills the story, but building off of it makes it engaging and productive. Today I’m being healthily selfish, I don’t have to fix anyone, I don’t owe anyone a damn thing, and I’m not responsible for anyone’s inability to love me.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What important truth do very few people agree with you on?
The best emotion a creative piece can bring is not joy or inspiration, but anger. Joy means you agree with me, inspiration means you want to add to what I’ve said, but anger means your reality is being questioned, forcing you to ask yourself “Why?” My art often criticizes politics and organized religion, and I get the most satisfaction when someone is enraged by what I create. Looking at art is like holding up a mirror, and sometimes we don’t like the reflection.
I made a mural by my house to cover a hateful message, replacing it with “protect trans kids” with the flag just above it. It wasnt too long before I found a poor attempt of the work being vandilized. Someone disagreed with the message so much they tried to blot it out with black marker, even so, my message and the flag was still very legible. To my surprise I found myself happy about this. Not only did it give it more meaning to still be seen despite the attempt to ruin it, I realized my work is so powerful it lives in the minds of the ignorant rent free. How they must’ve been frustrated seeing their attempt to silence me with their sharpie was a waste of time for them, that despite their hatred love still prevailed.
I create whiteboard drawings as a way to challenge my perfectionist mindset and remind myself that all things are temporary. I create detailed pieces knowing that someone will have to erase it to use the board someday. When I was at rehab I made one of these drawings, a bust of an angel with the caption “The Arkangel knows nothing lasts forever. Erase him.” The next day I find someone had written “I rebuke this in the name of Jesus” Next to my art. Curious, I go find the commenter to get an understanding on why he wrote this.
He told me he found the message to be “demonic.” That it disturbed him and he contacted a loved one for advice on what to do about it, and so he left his comment behind. I encouraged him to erase the art if he felt that way, that it was made to be destroyed, especially if you disagreed with it. The art ended up staying on the whiteboard for the rest of my time at rehab. He did not touch it, in fact he told me he liked it. And on my discharge day he took the time to tell me how he admired me for who I was, that he actually envied my patience, empathy and compassion. I was touched to hear him be this vulnerable. Honestly, I assumed he disliked me up until then, and we actually had a good conversation before I left the house. Because of this I’m glad it angered him at first, because he was left needing to ask himself “why.”
We need artists now more than ever, Because art can bring out the emotions the English language can’t. Art cannot be censored, it is what it is, a reflection of your subconscious beliefs
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What will you regret not doing?
My biggest regret would be dying with the “what ifs” and “I should’ve’s” thorough my life rather than trying to see the outcomes. I want to be a comic artist. I want to tell stories that make others think and laugh. I want to create pieces that find homes on the walls of galleries and residences, novels that fit snug in the bookshelves of libraries and personal collections. I can’t do that if I’m worried about the process all day. I can’t let the inevitable rejections tell me I won’t make it. I especially can’t let the lack of online exposure tell me what my art is worth.
Humans are stubborn creatures. If we really want something we will fight tooth and nail to get it. Lack of money will not stop me from pursuing the career I want most, the critics will never silence me. As long as I know every day I’m able to see was led with purpose and courage to try, then I’m on the right path. I don’t have to be famous, I just want to be able to say “I’m an artist” to my younger self and be proud of it. Even if I get one person to stop and look, I’ve won. My existence has made a difference in the world with every compliment, every double take, every interpretation of my art.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/archangelfeathers
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- Other: BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/archangelfeathers.bsky.social
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@archangelfeathers
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