We’re looking forward to introducing you to Dalya Black. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Dalya, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
I’m obsessed with looking at people’s morning routines. I think the variety of how people start their day is so interesting. I especially find that there is an interesting ‘shaming’ that happens to people who don’t follow a strict regimen. Like, if you don’t wake up at 5am you’ll simply NEVER reach your goals.
I’m not like that at all.
I am eternally blessed that I don’t need to set an alarm most days. I have a sunrise clock that peaks at 8:15am that 80% of the time wakes me up. I am able to wake up truly when my body needs it. Which sometimes (especially closer to my period) simply means more sleep than other days.
I have a few non-negotiables in the morning. First is that I must fill my cup first before giving to others. I make sure my phone stays off until I am ready to look at my notifications (though, I’ll be real, sometimes I slip out of this habit and then I need to put my phone in “jail” aka the living room).
I always start with a big cup of water and brush my teeth immediately after. Then I do SOME kind of movement. If I am able to get my act together and go for a walk, amazing. If I can do a youtube exercise routine, even better. But most days it’s some yoga. The moment I smell my coffee I list 5 things I’m grateful for. I stir my intention for the day into my cup. I always give my first sip to my spirit squad and meditate for 10min asking what I need to know for the day. After that, I’ll do some journaling or writing. After all of that, THEN, I can give other people my attention.
But really, my morning routine is very much dependent on my evening routine. If I don’t have a to-do list done in the evening, I’m absolutely floundering in the morning. If the weather looks good in the morning then I must put my clothes out to be able to go for a walk. Both routines are critical for setting myself up for success.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I got my start doing burlesque when I was freshly 18. This taught me so much about performing and being a producer. But then I got my first acting role in a movie, TEN, at 21 and I absolutely fell in love with Filmmaking. I was acting for a while but felt continuously frustrated with the terrible roles that were offered to me. That began my journey into screenwriting and directing to build roles that I would want to see in the world. Messy humans who you are rooting for, groan at, text your friend ‘this character reminded me of you’. After a decade of filmmaking, I tried my hand at standup comedy. I ended up taking a pause on that journey and have been focusing on some new multimedia storytelling. Some that are smaller little micro-shorts and another project that is much bigger and will take me a few years to complete. Overall, I’m a queer, intersectional feminist storyteller.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
I feel like I’m a bit of a rare person who genuinely has an incredibly diverse friend group. I have a vast array of close friends that are all different ages, sexualities, genders, races, etc. But that diversity also includes having some (respectful!) conservative white men in my space. I think they are genuinely appreciative that I hear them out and they hear me out back in return. I have learned a lot from all my friends, but these ones in particular teach me everything about the depths of empathy and patience I have inside me. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to be friends with someone who votes against their existence. But I also feel like I have a knack for talking to these people in such a way that I feel irresponsible not trying. Politics is immediately where I go to with this question, but really it boils down to shame. Shame festers inside of us and makes us lash out. It silences empathy, hardens perception, and makes it easier to vilify than to understand.
I think the only antidote is to look that person in the eye and say ‘I see all your shame and I still love you wholly.’ It’s not about excusing harm, but about creating the conditions where transformation is possible. Empathy doesn’t erase difference; it dignifies it. And in that dignity, we begin to repair.
If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
I love this question. I have a photo of my younger self on my alter. I think about how brave they are all the time and how much I appreciate their sacrifice so I could have the life I have now.
Mostly, I just want to wrap them in a huge hug and tell them how much I love them. The world is tough, but you’re tougher.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
Until I was 10 years old I didn’t know I was one singular person. I thought I was going to be multiple different people throughout my life, including being a man at some point. I thought life was a series of selves, each waiting their turn to appear.
When my uncle died, he had an open casket funeral and it was so weird for my kid-self to see this warm funny man have no electricity. It made me really understand mortality in a way I didn’t really grasp before. Something permanent. That, no, we don’t have multiple selves, we just stop.
Interestingly, this is something I thought was super common but as I’ve spoken about it to more people I’m realizing this is a pretty unique view to have on the world.
Looking back, I realize how strange yet innocent that belief was & how much it revealed about how I saw the world: fluid, impermanent, endlessly becoming. I’ve since learned that identity does change, but not as completely or magically as I once imagined. We evolve, yes, but within the fragile boundaries of a single, mortal self.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: If you knew you had 10 years left, what would you stop doing immediately?
Man, I hate this question, ha! I hate it because I already KNOW I should stop doomscrolling, or at least scroll with better posture.
It’s not that I’m wasting time on my phone for no reason. I’m looking for something: a spark, a laugh, a moment that makes me feel connected to people, to ideas, to beauty, to weird little corners of the internet where humanity is being its messy, magical self. Sometimes I find it. Sometimes I just end up watching a raccoon eating soup.
But if I only had ten years, I think I’d try to stop outsourcing my curiosity and start chasing connection in more direct ways like calling a friend, going to a museum, writing something weird, sitting in a park eavesdropping like it’s an Olympic sport.
I don’t think scrolling is evil, I think it’s just the easiest way to say, ‘Hey, world, surprise me.’ I’d just want to make sure I was giving the real world the same chance to do that, too.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.dalyablack.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dalya.meatball
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@porcelaindalya
Image Credits
All images in huge thanks to Zander Fieschko
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
