We’re looking forward to introducing you to Donna M.Carbone. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Donna, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What is a normal day like for you right now?
Normal? I have no idea what “normal” means. Seven days a week, my schedule starts around 4:00 am. Make the bed. Wash my face. Start my computer. Answer the many emails that have come in during the night. By 5 am, I am enjoying my first cup of coffee and catching up on the news. Then, the work really begins.
My work day is on average 18 hours long. I am in my home office handling corporate related issues and writing/preparing for evening classes and rehearsals for upcoming shows. By 4:30 pm, I leave for the theater. First students/actors arrive by 5:30. The evening is in full swing by 6:00. Around 10:00 pm, I turn off whatever technical equipment we have been using – cameras, lights, sound – shut off the house and outside lights, and head home. Dinner is somewhere between 10:30 and 11:00 pm. Then, bed. Morning arrives quickly.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
“Words are my oxygen.” I am a published author and produced playwright. My monthly opinion column, The View from My Pedestal, appeared in The Beacon Magazine for five years. I was a regular contributor to the Jupiter Courier, and my opinion columns have appeared in national hard copy media. My poetry and short stories have been featured in recognized publications.
I am the author of the popular Cat Leigh and Marci Welles crime novel series, which includes Through Thick and Thin, Silk Suit/Stone Heart, and Total Submission. My focus is keeping women safe in an ever increasingly dangerous world.
In 2016, I published Private Hell, a crime novel which uses my own experience with domestic abuse as a focal point. In July 2019, I completed the true crime novel, Bread and Bullets, the Rosario Liotta story. Liotta was imprisoned for 12 years on a manslaughter charge that was eventually proven to be self-defense. In 2020, I published Charlie’s Molasses, a fictional account of the sugar industry and the tragic events that often befell the men and women who work the fields. My plays, including Shell of a Man and The Intersection of Lincoln and Parks were contracted by the Black Academy of Arts & Letters (Dallas Convention Center) and the Kravis Center.
Fear Sells, my one-man show focused on negative advertising, was commissioned as the closing offering at a TED conference. I was a Scenemaker of the Week in the Palm Beach Post. In 2018, I was presented with an award by the 4Cs Foundation (Caring Children/Clothing Children) for creating a writing program used to encourage elementary school children who dream of becoming an author.
I teach the 7-week All About Acting course at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts as well as writing, directing and producing all the shows. I am the executive director and wearer of all hats at PBIEA which is why I work an 18 hour day and love every second.
PBIEA is more than a school and a theater. We are a haven in the storm of life for many struggling individuals. Some of our students live with the negative effects of a dysfunctional childhood, domestic abuse, rape, depression, divorce, life threatening medical issues, ADD, Asperger’s syndrome, Down Syndrome, schizoaffective disorder, mental health issues and memory loss. We are giving a spotlight to people overcoming addictions and those who are neuro-diverse and divergent thinkers. We have welcomed Holocaust and civil war (Middle East/Europe) survivors, burn victims, unwed mothers, and a former priest who successfully dealt with the transition from religious life to domestic life. We are many things to many people… and we are proud of the role we play in bringing confidence and continuity to the lives of those in need.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
My life has evolved in 25-year cycles. The first 25 years were hell on earth. The next 25 were absolute paradise. Now, nearing completion of the third phase, life is a mixed bag. The first 25 years were a roller coaster of pain and more pain. A dysfunctional childhood and abusive first marriage did not give me much hope of living a long life. Then, I met my present husband of 50 years. He had the patience to allow me to heal from that early trauma at my own pace. He gave me the confidence and encouraged me to “find” myself. Now, just a few years short of beginning the final 25 year cycle (or however long fate allows), I no longer recognize that early Donna. I use my experiences to help other women. Both my daughter and I have survived what should have been certain death ordeals, We are survivors! We use our stories to help other women who feel their is “no way out.”
As a child I spent many hours hiding in the bathroom with my face buried in towel so no one would hear me cry… no one would hear beg to die. Now, any tears I shed are for others who are struggling through difficult times. They are also tears of joy, shed when escape and survival are the end result of abuse.
Where once I thought myself useless, now I have found my purpose.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Heaven and Hell are the same place. You cannot have one without the other. To fully appreciate joy, you must know sorrow.
If a genie were to pop out of a bottle and give me the opportunity to go back and change my life… to change the decisions I made, I would not accept. I would gladly live every tortuous moment over again because I would not be the person I am today without having known the pain of the past.
My favorite quote is “Scars reveal where we have been. They do not have to dictate where we are going.” Quite a profound statement, wouldn’t you agree?
Scars, both the visible and the invisible kind, are a compendium of life’s less smile-inducing moments. Rather than being etched in our minds and on our bodies with ink, they are indelibly written in raw, red, raised flesh and painful memories.
How you choose to view your scars will determine how successful you are in healing and moving forward. I like to think of mine as pennies tossed into a wishing well. As memories ripple to the surface, I ask that hate be short lived and, thankfully, it has been. I ask not for revenge but for justice and peace. I ask for continued strength to face whatever lies ahead. So far, my requests have been granted.
Surviving and being a survivor are two very different mind sets. You can survive a violent crime and recover mentally and/or emotionally. Moving from being victimized to being victorious is a long, hard journey but there is no more perfect image to represent that journey than a woman.
One last thing… there was a time when I willingly and gleefully exchanged the word victim for the word survivor. Not anymore. What I have found is that society hears the word “survivor,” and they think all is well. That there are no lasting effects of trauma. Let us not forget that before someone can be a survivor, they must first be a victim and the trauma of victimization never fades.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
There is a huge difference between being “smart” and being “wise.” Anyone can be smart. Pick up a book. Read it. Read it again if need be. Academic smarts are available for free for anyone who wants to put in the time and effort.
Being wise… being wise requires common sense – a rare trait in most people. Common sense is the ability to make sound choices even when that choice goes against personal leanings. There are no books… no movies… no pills that can give you common sense. It is an innate quality. You either have it or you don’t.
Being wise requires that you view the mistakes you have made through a critical lens. You must accept that you did something wrong. You must learn from your mistakes. You must be willing to look yourself in the eyes and admit that you and only you are responsible for the outcome.
Most people believe what they want to be true, not what is true. Smart people are no exception. No one wants to lose even when what they are fighting for is detrimental to themselves and society as a whole. Ego is at epidemic proportions. Currently, there is a win at all costs mentality governing society and it will destroy us.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. If you knew you had 10 years left, what would you stop doing immediately?
I will be lucky to have 10 years left to live, but if I did, I would not stop doing anything. My work is my life. I am blessed that my family – my husband and daughter – help me and do everything they can to support my mission.
The mission statement at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts is “Live Your Dreams… Not Your Fears.” I wear that slogan on shirts, jackets… anything and anyplace people will see it. Life is short no matter what age you are now. No one should have to wait until near the end of time to feel fulfilled. Instead of “stopping” something, we should pursue and embrace our dreams every minute of every day.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.writeforyoullc.com
- Instagram: @pbiea2020
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/donna.m.carbone
Image Credits
Photo credit: Dr. Michael Carbone
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