Story & Lesson Highlights with Miles Gray of Southern Illinois

We recently had the chance to connect with Miles Gray and have shared our conversation below.

Good morning Miles, it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
Something I’m learning through my mental health journey is that nobody will ever see just how much work you put into your own self— how you go about your day and the way you interact with others, what you sacrifice, what you choose to hold onto. I am extremely proud of who I’ve become after years of therapy and hard work, and I’m already proud of the person I will become later. Nobody will ever know the gravity of the work I’ve done to build the person I want to be. That’s okay. What matters is that I see it.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hello, I go by Gray or 8 Bit Garden. I am a DID system and sometimes refer to myself as “we” because of this. While my business has changed so much over the years, one thing never has: I love wax melts, and I love making melts that craft a story. I am a writer primarily, so that as well as my love of music goes into my work quite a bit.
We’re currently working on building a small community before I can even think about launching, but that hasn’t stopped us from creating. We recently did a trial run of our wax melt inspired by Taylor Swift’s song Daylight on her “Lover” album, and not only does it smell sweet and lovely, it was our first time trying out a “double pour,” where you pour two colors directly into the container. It was super scary! But they turned out so pretty.
I’m also making melts based off my homebrew Dungeons & Dragons world, and I just did one that is a far stretch from my usual scents. I typically do fruity or bakery, but this one is set in a tavern, so I played around with apples, maple bourbon, whiskey, and fireside. I think it turned out nice but my fiance’s grandmother will be the judge of that haha.

Okay, so here’s a deep one: What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
As a child I believed my mental illness would not get better, and I’ve come to accept that not only is that not true, it’s completely worth fighting to heal. Every day I face impossible challenges that six year old me couldn’t even fathom, yet I keep going because I’ve built a life and a home worth staying in. Until I moved out as an adult, I didn’t have many options to get better or change things, but now I do. Autonomy has changed my life for the better more than anything else.

What fear has held you back the most in your life?
The fear of wasting my time. I still need to learn that nothing you enjoy doing is a waste, and a waste of time to start with is subjective. I need to change what it means to waste time. I sit on the couch with my fiance, I think I should be working. I work, I think I should be cleaning. I clean, I think I should be spending time with my fiance. It’s an un-winnable battle, so maybe I should bow out of it to begin with. You know, maybe I don’t need to see things in terms of how they take up my time?

Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
My empathy. I’ve grown out of believing empathy is a necessity in being a good person, but it hasn’t grown any less important to me personally. I am overly empathetic, often times to my own detriment, and I do intend on healing that, but part of that is scary in of its own because, well, I’ve been this way my whole life. It might not be everybody’s key ingredient, but it is mine.

Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. If immortality were real, what would you build?
I would spend eternity working to build a balance in the world, where we don’t fight senselessly and people aren’t unfairly prosecuted. I have more ideas on how to fix this world than time to try them out and hone them in, so immortality seems like the perfect solution.

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