Story & Lesson Highlights with Samantha Ruth of Traverse City, Michigan

We recently had the chance to connect with Samantha Ruth and have shared our conversation below.

Good morning Samantha , we’re so happy to have you here with us and we’d love to explore your story and how you think about life and legacy and so much more. So let’s start with a question we often ask: Have any recent moments made you laugh or feel proud?
I’m a fur mommy. I’ve always had big dogs. When I lost my oldest, Sassy, earlier this year, I got a Boston Terrier puppy. I’m adjusting to “little dog” problems.

Our latest hiccup: he wanted to be with me on my errands and climbed out my sunroof to follow along 😳
Thankfully my now oldest, Dallas, didn’t follow!!

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
If you know me well, I’m just Sam – your anything but average girl originally from the suburbs of Detroit who loves her pups, her family and friends, anything outdoors, music, and – of course – sports!!

To those a bit more removed, you might know me as the Psychologist, Speaker, Best Selling Author, Podcast host of The Be Ruthless Show, widow, and very proud Founder of Griefhab.

I knew at a very young age that I wanted to become a Psychologist and specifically become a voice for those struggling to find their own. From school to career, certain roads were always very clear. My mission to change the way the world views mental health was clear before I could define why.

I met the love of my life as I was completing my Masters Degree. Soulmates. But our path wasn’t as clear and direct as other areas of life. We took time apart before finding our way back to each other. So i believed that all of my dreams were finally coming true. My happily ever after.

Less than five years after reconnecting, I unexpectedly lost my husband. For a long time, many parts of me were lost with him.

Griefhab was born out of that loss. I found pieces of my old self, and built new pieces that you see today.

So the long answer to your question is that I’m this new version of Sam, and this includes so many pieces of me …… including ones of me and my husband.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
There are two adult lessons I’d like to share.

First: Losing my husband.

It changed everything. Personally and professionally. Because I’m not just a psychologist – I’m a grief and trauma expert.

So the world expected me to get back to work. To know how to heal. To bounce back.

But there is no bouncing back and I became frustrated with the expectations and the lack of support in this world.

I spent my life up until these moments helping others and I knew I still had to do more in this world.

So much more. At my own pace!!

And secondly: learning to completely trust myself and my intuition.
During my intense grief, I relied on my loved ones to make decisions because I certainly couldn’t. When my first wedding anniversary without Jim was approaching, I needed to go to our wedding venue.

Not wanted, needed.

Up until this point, I had no opinions or preferences, but I was determined that this was what I would do for our anniversary. Everyone who loves me was against the idea – purely out of concern.

Long story short – I went anyway, and had the most important week of my healing journey, and one of the most important weeks of my life. And I asked myself, “What would life look like if I trust me moving forward?” And I’ve done exactly that…

It’s how Dallas, my pup I mentioned earlier, joined our family. It’s how Griefhab was born. It’s how my decisions to move have been made.

When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
When it was so overwhelming –
After losing Jim, I was in so much pain that I no longer cared about hiding it to make other people feel more comfortable. My comfort became the priority.

And that’s the lesson –

Hiding anything makes it worse. More intense. More likely to last longer. The energy you’re spending hiding your pain adds pain!!

When I stopped hiding my pain, my grief, my anxiety. I realized that what the world sees as weaknesses are actually are biggest superpowers. When we embrace things and stop hiding them from the world, they no longer have power and pain!

I owned every ounce of my pain. I owned every bit of my lifelong anxiety (that grew even more during my grieving).

And that’s when it lost the control it held over me. That’s when I gained the control!

And you can, too. We all can.

So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
My closest friends know that authenticity means everything to me, as well as compassion. Everyone is walking around fighting a battle we can’t see. Mos people keep those things private. I wear my battles openly – so others know it’s ok to share their stories.

That’s how we heal! It’s how we connect and find others who understand.

Silence keeps us isolated. Our pain lasts longer.

But please remember that most people don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. Most are carrying something around the world can’t see and they struggle to share.

My friends will tell you that I will go above and beyond to help you, no matter who you are. I’ll stand up for what’s right. And I’ll make sure everyone knows help is available and you are NOT alone!

They’ll tell you that changing the way this world views both grief and mental illness matters to me in a way that is different. If I can’t get awareness days added to calendars, then Griefhab makes our own calendar. I don’t accept no. If I can’t make change, I’ll be the change.

Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I’m doing what I was born to do. I’m living life MY way. I help others live life their way. We only get one life. Are you living yours YOUR way?

Contact Info:

• Website: https://samantharuth.com
• Instagram: @samanthamruth
• Linkedin: @samanthamruth
• Twitter: @samanthamruth
• Facebook: @samanthamruth
• Youtube: @samantharuth
• Other: https://www.facebook.com/groups/griefhab7/