Story & Lesson Highlights with Tyra Shange of South Side of Chicago

We recently had the chance to connect with Tyra Shange and have shared our conversation below.

Tyra, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: Have you stood up for someone when it cost you something?
I stood up for myself almost ten years ago. It cost me public humiliation and my fear of starting over. It was so difficult to stand on business that sometimes I wonder if I will ever fully heal. But, this side of that decision is still light years better than the past I was settling for: In 2016, I decided to end things with my daughter’s father who was emotionally and physically abusive. Every time he put his hands on me, he literally tried to squeeze the life out of me. I stood up for myself by saying enough is enough when the relationship continued to get worse.

I stood up for myself by going to court having to face him and confess in public:
that he could not keep his hands off of me.
that he raised his voice at me often.
that he threatened to do me physical harm.
that he almost killed me once.
that I thought I loved him.
And, that I no longer wanted him anywhere near me or our daughter.

To some, that declaration made me look like a fool. To me, I gained a new sense of freedom and peace as I stood up for myself. In the time it took to regain enough confidence to leave him for good, I realized that I had much more personal work to do if I ever thought I loved him. Someone who would dare do any of the above horrific things. How could I love someone who clearly did not love me? Later, I had to admit to myself that I had been played by midnight skin and a smooth-talking, beautiful smile full of dreams and unrealized potential. I would eventually see that I started my self-love journey over the moment that I decided to break up with him for the final time.

The consequences of our poor decisions may continue to decide to haunt us decades later. As I think about the possibility of his release, I am reminded that standing up for myself is going to continue to cost me starting over. Any new fears that may creep up with that new start will have to be snuffed out. This time, standing up for me is going to cost me a certain level of complacency brought on by peace. I am going to have to be hyper-vigilante and aware of my surroundings in a way that I have not had to be since our last court date in 2019. Despite what his ill-advised letters (which legally breach an existing contract of no contact) state, I know that he does not know how to love me. I pray that he can continue to learn how to love my daughter in ways that will empower her as a young, Black girl who should never accept the type of behavior she witnessed me accept from him in the past. She yearns for his presence as most girls her age yearn for love and affection from their father. Now, the fear of potentially starting over with him as a co-parent is real and near. I know I cannot return to the Tyra that used to live in fear of the actions of someone who is close to me. So, if standing up for myself costs anything, I am glad to release that!

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hello, my name is Tyra! You may hear me declaring, “hey, hey, hey, it’s ya girl, Tyra Shange” if you’ve stumbled across my podcast “When Queens Link.” WQL is one of the few podcasts that celebrates Black women entrepreneurs, industry professionals and thought leaders. It’s giving Black Queendom at its finest!

I picked up the “Shange” from the influence that the late Ntozake Shange’s writing had on me back in undergrad. At that time, a group of us were struggling with race issues on campus and stumbling across her words and wisdom was timely. Eventually, I wanted to surpass her literary aptitude and emotional strength and to adapt the idea of being a woman who could actually “walk with lions” to my life.

Since I was younger, I have always been a hopeless romantic and a teller of stories. Before I adopted Shange, I went by the name my mother gave me: Tyra Chanel. Tyra Chanel is a poet, fashion girlie and educator who curates beautiful spaces for public education and thought leadership across empowering Black youth, combating colorism, and career development.

The Poet: I freak letters and words to birth imagery in hopes that its conception delivers more meaning to my reality. More simply, I write. I have been writing about the beauty and struggle of Black culture, love and family. I am excited to be a published author of my debut project, A Smothered Scripture, and an upcoming poetry collection, Soul Fed: The Self-Love Poems.

The Fashion Girlie: I’m actually named for a male friend of my mom’s (no, not my dad) named Tyrone and not the legendary Tyra Banks. But my mother did tell me, back then, Chanel was one of her favorite brands. So, it makes perfect sense that I have always been addicted to the arts and fashion in particular.

When I was not writing, I was drawing. In grammar school, I used to sketch when I got done with my work in class. First, I started redesigning the Nikes my mother couldn’t afford and later what I thought my school’s cheer and pom pom uniforms should look like. In college, I spent most of my work study money buying clothes and shoes. My friends and I could’ve bought a Tiny Home with the money we spent every weekend after the announcement of each new party. But you live and you learn! And that desire to play dress up and style people has really never left me. Don’t be surprised if you see an #OOTD or outfit check video as you scroll through my socials or even a shopping haul or unboxing video on my YouTube channel.

The Educator: As a scholar, I have researched and facilitated workshops on Black women in politics, youth in leadership development and organizing, housing and community development issues, and the evils of colorism in America. I have worked with organizations that focus on uplifting Black consciousness locally and globally. I have worked in neighborhoods all across the city of Chicago. In a past life, I volunteered to teach computer literacy in Khayelitsha and English in Cairo. I love teaching in and out of the classroom.

Poetry, fashion, and education are all interests that share a common meeting place in my podcast, “When Queens Link” which will be airing new episodes soon. Check out my website: SincerelyTyra.com and follow my socials, @SincerelyTyra, for all updates.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
Mary Ann Owens, my grandmother, has taught me most of the lifelong lessons I’ve needed in adulthood and shaped how I see the world. This woman has been organizing church functions and events since before I could walk-and, that is just her volunteer work. Before retiring from her career in service, Ms. Owens would leave home before the sun rose to get to work as the lead kitchen coordinator for Rockwell Daycare Center and later Ada S. Mckinley’s Davis House. Her work taking care of other people’s nutritional needs and organizing events has shaped my understanding of public servanthood as a necessity in our communities.

My grandmother and my mother used to tote me with them everywhere across the greater Chicagoland area. So, I have gotten to witness Black women operating, living and co-creating in a multitude of different environments. In a broader sense, the company my grandmother kept has shaped my understanding of group work/group economics as well. My earliest other teachers were the women who worked and toiled with my grandmother, women from various networks–The Hatchetts, Quinn Chapel AME, the Ickes Local Advisory Council, and at Rockwell Gardens Daycare Center. After my grandmother, all of these women taught me the importance of community and shaped how I see the world.

The great writer and anthropologist, Zora Neale Hurston, uses a literary trope of Black women as the “mules of the earth.” It has always been disheartening to me that Black women have had to work 100 times harder than the rest of the world–to be seen, acknowledged or celebrated. Today, as a public servant in my day job, it makes me angry to know that more than 316,000 Black women are missing from the nation’s employment data after years of thankless commitment to their public sector employers and community of clients (ABCNews.com, 2025). Is it not enough that there already are currently close to 100,000 Black women and girls who have been reported missing in America since 2022? It is evident that Hurston’s idea about how the world views Black women transcends generations. This is the moment that has shaped how I see the world most. But, to be clear, I would rather see the world as a place where everyone can be seen as valuable. For any non-Black women readers, I do not speak for all Black women, but from experience can surmise many of us will gladly accept genuine allyship and thoughtful advocacy of our value and deserved place in the world.

If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
If I could say one thing to my younger self, I would write a letter that says:

Dear 15-year old Tyra,

One day, you are going to need to feel validated in a way that only you know how to do.

I pray you remember how you felt when I actually confronted people who wanted to disrespect you for being too smart, being “not Black enough” or not being “Black enough,” and for simply loving yourself.

Sometimes the person you think should have your back just does not or perhaps does not know how to support you as a friend, a lover, or even a family member.

It is okay to walk away. It is okay to say “no!” It is okay to say “enough.” And, it is always okay to stand up for yourself when people try to make you feel less than who God created you to be.

It does not make you a disloyal person to choose your needs above another person’s needs. In fact, it makes you the hero of your own story.

I pray that when people try to convince you that you can only be good at one thing in life–you laugh in their faces at the idea.

You were born to be great in every aspect of life that you desire. Period.
–Sincerely, Tyra

Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What truths are so foundational in your life that you rarely articulate them?
Two foundational truths lead my life: “God provides” and “leadership is self-control, first and foremost.”

Leadership is self-control, first and foremost. I used to say this to my middle school and high school students at the Gary Comer Youth Center mostly. At the time, I was leading their programming in Civic Engagement and Social Leadership Development and eventually became their Community Resource Manager sharing information about the Center externally and curating spaces for community partners to engage with our youth, parents and staff.

At the time, I was struggling to articulate how our scholars should coexist in spaces with each other and with the adults around them. They were looked at as leaders and “to whom much is given, much is required.” But, they were also still children and teenagers ages 13-18. If they were to positively influence others’ thoughts and behaviors, I needed them to understand that they would have to control their own thoughts and behaviors first. I don’t say this as often as I used to now. But, pray that I still live my life in a way that expresses this.

God provides. Period. If there was ever a question of who leads my thoughts and behaviors, I pray that people look at my relationship with God. I have not always done or said the right things, but I do believe in repentance, forgiveness and favor. God provides forgiveness and favor when we need them most. And, the Good news is that God dwells within us through the Holy Spirit.

There is a scripture that reads: “Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you?” (New Living translation, 1 Corinthians 3:16). If we all could believe that God lives within us and that we are created to be good and kind and caring to each other as in the image of God, Our Creator, the world could truly be a different place. God provides me with hope and gives me small glimpses of what that day on earth could actually look like. They call me the “Happy Chief” at my current job, likely for this unspoken belief that we deserve this type of peace and heaven on earth in our lifetimes.

Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. Are you tap dancing to work? Have you been that level of excited at any point in your career? If so, please tell us about those days. 
I love event planning as an expression of art and design. Throughout undergrad, in Ohio, I planned campus-wide concerts, cultural events and parties. I have participated in conferences and spoken at venues across the country. But there is nothing like setting up shop for a great event at home. I have volunteered at my church, Quinn Chapel AME, to host large scale town halls and political forums. Past jobs included me curating community learning spaces at the Gary Comer Center. We deemed the event series Youth Practitioner’s Lunch & Learn Series and promoted topics that ranged from Supporting Justice-Involved Youth, Empowering Black Boys, and Empowering Our LGBTQ Youth. My day jobs have always bridged the gaps between youth and elders as I intentionally create senior events that encourage youth volunteerism and service during the event or curate panels that allow real dialogue among people of every age.

Back in March, I planned a Women’s History Month tribute to the legendary Margaret Taylor Burroughs in partnership with my coworkers at the 20th Ward Office and DuSable Museum’s Women’s Board and staff. Since I was younger, I have always been enamored by the Museum as a rare gem on our Southside. So, of course, helping to lead an event at our city’s first central public library, now known as the Chicago Cultural Center, this past month was another dream come true. I had a moment a few weeks ago where I was bouncing out of a site visit and event walk though absolutely beaming.

The purpose of the event was to commemorate the 10th Anniversary of the Hunger Strike and fight to save Walter H. Dyett High School. The fact that my supervisor and good friend, Jeanette B. Taylor and 12 other advocates of quality, free public education put their bodies on the line for students who they were not parenting will always leave me in awe and inspiration. Originally, the event was scheduled to take place at the high school itself. But when the planning committee decided we needed more space, Alderwoman asked for an assist from our sister agency leader of the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events, Commissioner Cline Hedspeth. Within two weeks, we changed venues and amped up our number of guests by 100. On the evening of September 12, we were able to juxtapose the hardship and trial of the hunger strikers’ 34-day journey with a space that has been maintained and revered as a stunning backdrop for much more joyous occasions like cultural events and weddings. Tears were shed, personal anecdotes were shared, and the lions of our community got to tell their side of the story–without any interference from the hunter. When I say I was beaming by the end of the night, just know you had to be there!

Back in August, I was honored to sit on a panel with other Black women in the public sector and non-profit leaders who are also 2024 inductees of the Black Women Professional League which will celebrate 10 years of networking and uplifting Black women entrepreneurs and professionals this October. To set the scene we were in the sparkling Hyde Park Bank and the theme of the evening was “As Strong as the Woman Next to Me: Creating a Legacy of Social Impact.” We talked about the highs and lows of being Black women and thought leaders in our respective industries. We fellowshipped and learned from one another. Again, I was beaming by the end of the evening.

Despite it never being easy, my work has made me smile at another recent juxtaposition: a girl who was the valedictorian of the last graduating class of Daniel Hale Williams, shuttered and on the turnaround list in 2002 by the Daley and Duncan, has been commissioned by Alderwoman Jeanette B. Taylor to lead our community’s plans to redevelop six shuttered school buildings and three abandoned city-owned service buildings. My eyes swell often from the vastness of such a task and the sheer amount of opportunity that lay in wait for the completion of this community-driven process. The level of excitement within my day job is at an all-time high.

My consulting career is taking off as well. Through career coaching, resume writing, workshop facilitation, and event series curation, I am looking forward to broadening the EbonySun reach very soon. The final edits of my newest poetry collection, Soul Fed: The Self-Love Poems, will be ready before the close of this year. It is my first book published under the EbonySun moniker. A very personal collection, I share poems and reflections about journeying back to the confidence of my youth, before meeting my daughter’s father and a few other failed relationships. Thankfully, now, when I look in the mirror and see who I have become, I can reflect on the work that got me here and my soul tap dances a little. Does that count?

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Image Credits
Desmon Yancy

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