We recently had the chance to connect with Vanessa Smithers and have shared our conversation below.
Vanessa, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: What do you think others are secretly struggling with—but never say?
i think a lot of people want love, but struggle with accepting and nurturing it when it finally arrives. we’re conditioned to chase it, to long for it, to imagine it, but not always to hold it. so when love shows up soft, steady, and consistent, it almost feels foreign.
for many of us, especially those who’ve experienced instability, abandonment, or conditional care, receiving love feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop. we sabotage it, test it, pick it apart before it can leave us. because sometimes it feels easier to confirm the story we’ve been told about ourselves than to risk rewriting it.
love requires practice. it’s not just about falling into it; it’s about tending to it. watering it. letting it stretch and change us. most people never say out loud that they’re scared of being loved well. they’ll admit to wanting love, but not to being terrified of it. not to pushing it away when it feels too good, too safe, too different from what they’ve known.
what i’ve learned, in my life and in my work, is that love is less about perfection and more about capacity. the capacity to receive, to give, to stay present even when your fear tells you to run. that’s where a lot of us are struggling, in silence.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
my name is vanessa smithers, and i call myself a narrative consultant, but really, i’m a storyteller at heart. i’ve spent over 20 years helping people and organizations make sense of their own stories—whether that’s through a resume, a speech, a website, a pitch deck, a grant application, or a personal bio. i’ve worked with over 3,000 clients worldwide, from global companies like apple, spotify, and salesforce to grassroots nonprofits, creatives, and entrepreneurs who just want their work to sound like *them.*
what makes my work unique is that i don’t believe in cookie-cutter communication. i believe storytelling is generational wealth. language, legacy, and the courage to tell your truth—that’s how you build equity for yourself and your community. my first love was creative writing, and i bring that same tenderness and intentionality into everything i create for my clients.
my brand is rooted in being human-centered. i don’t separate who i am from the work that i do. i know what it’s like to feel voiceless in systems, and now i’ve built a business that helps others take their voices back. currently, i’m working on deepening my impact with entrepreneurs, nonprofits, and creatives who are shifting culture, telling necessary stories, and building something that will outlast them.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
that i was asking for too much.
as a kid, i internalized that message over and over again—whether it was voiced directly or implied through how i was treated. i thought wanting care, consistency, or even just to be understood made me “difficult.” but what i know now is that i was never asking for too much; i was asking the wrong people.
in adulthood, i’ve unlearned that lie. i’ve realized that what i thought was “too much” is actually the baseline of being human—love, safety, belonging, tenderness. now, i refuse to shrink those needs. i’ve built a life and a business around holding space for people to ask for what they deserve and to believe they’re worthy of receiving it.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
i stopped hiding my pain when i realized that vulnerability is wealth. there is so much power, legacy, and generational wisdom stored in the stories we’re taught to bury. for years, i tried to tuck away the things that hurt me, thinking survival meant silence. but the moment i began to name those truths, i saw how they connected me to others, how they gave language to experiences that too many people carry alone.
that’s when everything shifted. i realized pain could be a blueprint. it could teach, transform, and even liberate. now my entire business is built on that understanding: helping people reclaim their stories, articulate their truths, and use their own lived experiences as tools for freedom. because when we tell the truth about where we’ve been, we change the story of where we’re going.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Is the public version of you the real you?
publicly, people always think i’m so strong. they see the work i do, the way i hold space for others, the boundaries i set, and they assume i’m unshakable. the “strong friend.” the one who always has the words, the strategy, the next step.
in reality, i’m really just a big baby, man. i cry, i overthink, i crave care and softness just like anyone else. i want to be held, i want to be poured into, i want to be taken care of.
the public version of me is real, but it’s incomplete. strength is part of me, but so is tenderness, so is vulnerability. i’ve just learned how to carry both in the open.
the older i get, the more i realize that the most “real” version of me is the one that refuses to separate those truths: i can be strong and still need to be held. i can give and still need to receive.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
i hope people say that i told the truth. that i didn’t shy away from the hard, uncomfortable parts of life, but i also didn’t forget to find the beauty in it. i hope they remember me as someone who used words to build bridges, between people, between communities, between who we are and who we could be.
i want people to say that i poured into others, that i made space for their stories, and that i reminded them their voices mattered. not just in the grand, public ways, but in the small, intimate ones too—the phone calls, the check-ins, the “i see you” moments.
i hope the story is that i lived in love. not perfect, not without mistakes, but with intention. that i chose softness even when the world made it hard. that i built something—through my business, my writing, my relationships—that outlived me.
at the end of the day, i don’t want the story to be about how much i accomplished. i want it to be about how much i cared, and how deeply i believed in the power of stories to change lives.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.vanessasmithers.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovevanessasmithers/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessasmithers/
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
