Confidence can open doors and is at the heart of so many amazing success stories across industries and disciplines and so we’ve always been interested in learning how we can help our readers and community members increase their confidence and self-esteem. Below, you’ll find highlights of some of the great conversations we’ve had on this topic.
Mark Daggett
I have always been somewhat of a confident person and been a people person. I have been confident in operating my own business for 21 years and making decisions . it was in 2001 that a good friend named Doug came to me to see if I was interested in growing my personal self! I said so thanks. He approached me again on the same topic and again I respectfully denied! Little did I know this would Change my Life Forever Read more>>
Maria Cunier
To love themselves and believe in their unique talents.
Knowing that I am unique so no one it can be me. Read more>>
Claire Yland Li
This is a tough one for me. Honestly, I’ve spent a lot of time going back and forth between feeling confident and feeling insecure. Moving between so many different school curriculums made me adaptable and taught me humility, but it also left me feeling like I wasn’t good enough, constantly trying to catch up to whatever new environment I found myself in, only to have to start all over again somewhere else. It’s been a cycle of trying to find my footing, only to have the ground shift beneath me again. And I’m not gonna lie, one does feel a bit insecure when you’re surrounded by people who are all trying to get into the industry, and they’re working just as hard as you are, if not more. But a couple of ways I keep my insecurity at bay are by contributing to new projects, slowly but surely making progress with my stories, and also by making time to relax and enjoy life (or enjoy doing nothing). Read more>>
Zoe Lenn
Modeling has literally been my backbone. I started modeling based on me being bullied in school. I became very depressed and insecure about the way I looked. I was uncomfortable in my own skin even though from a young age I was always reassured that I was beautiful. I decided to use my creativity and modeling as an outlet for this emotion. My self-esteem and confidence developed over time as I experienced the feeling walking on a runway with my hair, makeup and beautiful outfits. All the lights, the cameras, audience and atmosphere made me feel beautiful and bought out a side of myself that I didn’t know existed before. Modeling has given me a platform where I can be myself and express my beauty however, I choose. To be honest, sometimes I still feel insecure and have low self-esteem but in my moments of sadness and self-sabotage; I remind myself that I am beautiful, I am kind, I am able, I am strong and that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to. I just have to go out and do it. Affirmations will take you a long way in life because as long as you believe it no one can tell you any different. Read more>>
Nicole Balkenbusch
I grew up in the Midwest of the USA in a stereotypical household – my Dad, a lawyer, and my Mom, a teacher, had myself and my younger brother. I’m 3rd generation Greek decent – my great grandparents came over on a boat with little money and few connections, in the hope of building a better life. My maternal grandmother, Sophia, only knew Greek when she started elementary school and eventually taught my great-grandmother English. On my father’s side, my grandfather was 1 of 4 children, who were taught they could be anything if they worked hard enough. Being the older sister and one of the first grandchildren, I had many aunts/uncles and relatives who attended every sporting event or arts performance, always loudly cheering me on “you go, Cole!” above the rest of the quiet clappers; while I was embarrassed at first, I learned to love performing for my family and having them give me positive words of affirmation. My parents and grandparents imparted on me to be a “tall, proud Greek girl and to always speaking up for myself and others.” I am tall -5′ 9″ and was this tall at 11 years old. All of the women in my family are tall and when I bent down to make myself less tall than boys my age, they would tell me to “stand up tall, don’t be afraid of who you are” which gave me the confidence at a young age to own my full self. While I had the typical teenager awkward years, I always knew I had my family’s support, which allowed me to try new areas and motivated me to work hard to excel. While my Dad worked and my Mom had chosen to stop working for years to raise us children, they ran the household 50/50 – it wasn’t “his money” or “her house” – everything was theirs/together, which allowed me to have a positive role models about how a relationship should operate. This allowed me to have the confidence to speak up to bullies at school, raise my hand in hard classes to answer a question or ask for help and if a boyfriend didn’t treat me as an equal, it was a short-lived relationship. When I was scared of public speaking, my parents forced me to speak in speeches, whether at church or in the local Rotary club, which I hated at the time but now looking back, I am so thankful they did so. One time, I 100% forgot my speech, which had to be fully memorized (no notes, podium to hide behind, nothing!); my parents didn’t negatively put me down or console me – they simply asked what happened and what could be better next time. I have learned that being high energy, outspoken (many call me loud), tall and Greek (so I talk with my hands) is a strength and when I have been given feedback in the business world that sometimes I can be “too much,” I simply reply with “thank you” and a smile. I am so thankful my entire family supported me as I grew up, built up my confidence and gave me opportunities to learn, fail and succeed – I now try to do the same for my two young daughters. Read more>>
Keshawdhu Adi
I believe that Confidence and self-esteem can be cultivated through a combination of self-reflection, setting achievable goals, challenging negative thoughts, practicing self-care, and celebrating my accomplishments, no matter how small. Surrounding my self with supportive people and seeking professional help if needed Read more>>
Brittany Petrilli
Developing confidence and self-esteem has been one of the longer—and certainly ongoing—journeys for me. I believe many of us, particularly women, are often raised to prioritize others’ feelings and needs above our own, so it can be difficult to take up space and put ourselves out there confidently. Read more>>
Palma Caruso
Confidence and Self esteem are something that i overcome alot, but at the same time is something that will always be a hurdle. As a photographer in the new modern world, there is always room to learn, grow and expand. Photography is not only art, but with social media, it can be criticized easily. Everyone has a different style of not only how/what they photograph but how they edit as well. When i am talking to potential clients i encourage them to view my portfolio to make sure that they are in love with MY style. If not, there will be another photographer out there for them. If a client hires a dark/moody photographer, and asks them to edit the photos light and airy, then they were not the correct photographer for you. Its best to like the work from the start before proceeding to work with that photographer. Because of this, there is always critics that people may give. Even if they are just a viewer on the other end of the computer. Its best to hear from what they have to say, but most importantly listen to my heart on how i choose my art to be. I can hear all day long what other photographers say about my photos, and i might learn something i didn’t previously. Ive learned that the most important thing is being who i truly am, and capturing how i see my own art. To me, that helps me remember my confidence in my work, and to carry that for future sessions. Read more>>
Rachel ‘susie Scorpio’ Solís
Like most women in my culture I’ve been encouraged to follow more than lead, listen more than speak and to consider the feelings of others over my own.
Though my Mother did everything she could to counter these messages, the constant patriarchal input from mainstream media and my hometown’s Southern Baptist culture caused me to constantly question if I was good enough, smart enough and strong enough. Read more>>
Ivy Felicia
I struggled with confidence and self-esteem from childhood through early adulthood due to personal challenges such as navigating fatphobia, surviving abuse, and managing chronic illness, which deeply impacted my sense of self. Seeking mental health therapy, I learned techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy that helped me reframe my thoughts, embracing holistic wellness. I found solace in practices like yoga and meditation and practicing spiritual techniques; I discovered the power of mindfulness and self-compassion, all of which brought healing into my life. Read more>>
Beth Ames Swartz
Probably for all creatives, building self-confidence and self-esteem is a lifelong endeavor. For me in particular, being the youngest in a family of three children, I didn’t start out with either self-esteem or self-confidence. Doing well in school allowed me to get into the High School of Music and Art in New York City, which was a competitive free institution with a full academic program plus two hours of art, music, or dance every day. Then, at Cornell University, working hard paid off with good responses from professors. As far as advice, I still believe in finding mentors who believe in your vision to support and advise you along the way. I also think self-doubt is a good thing that forces us to continually grow, change, develop, and not rest on our laurels. Read more>>
Robyn Paris
It’s an on-going process! I think confidence comes with time and age. I certainly feel more confident in my own skin now than I did in my 20s and 30s. I credit my parents with giving me freedom in my childhood to explore things I loved. I spent lots of time as a kid wandering the woods behind my house unchaperoned, biking all over (since we lived in the countryside of North Carolina), building forts in the woods, putting on shows for the neighbors and generally roaming unchecked during the summers. That freedom bred creativity and independence. I never got into trouble – and I think that was because my parents said they trusted me to make good decisions – so I did. Confidence comes with room and space to be yourself, unfettered, without a ton of judgment. I did ridiculous things as a kid – like the time I wrapped my entire body in tinfoil for a book report about a Russian cosmonaut. I used to play dramatic music and make over-the-top entrances for presentations in high school – maybe kids were nicer back then because no one really mocked me – at least not to my face. Haha! I was nerdy in the sense that I studied a lot, but I tried to make it work for me, instead of against me. I think the confidence to put myself out there and take risks comes from a belief that I’m worthy, even if other people don’t see it or agree. And if people doubt me, I love to prove them wrong – that’s my stubborn side. When you take creative risks, your confidence goes up, even if you fail. I’ve always derived a sense of accomplishment when I’ve faced my fears by putting myself out into the world creatively – and it’s surprised me to see the people who respond to my work. Read more>>
Dina Renee
As a child I only remember hating myself. I would have so many inner negative self- talk and it became overwhelming at times. I did not believe in myself, but I also had this inner feeling that told me I was supposed to do something big and pursue music. I felt it strongly from the age of 3. I remember teaching myself piano by ear and trying to prove to my family that I had a gift, but I also felt very unheard because I expected my parents to be stage parents like the idols I looked up to. I wanted to be pushed instead of actually pushing myself. Read more>>
Melissa Divanna
My confidence and self-esteem was something that took a long time to acquire. Growing up I suffered from debilitating body dysmorphia that ultimately crumbled my self image.
I always struggled immensely with my appearance. I remember at the age of 5 thinking I was so hideous that I would not leave the house without a scarf wrapped around my face. As time progressed these feels of self loathing only intensified. Read more>>
Whitney Freya
In 1996 I opened a drop-in art center in an old bungalow in an up and coming commercial district in Nashville, TN without having even painted on a canvas since I was 9. I had zero art training, but read in a book, Zen and the Art of Making a Living, that “unless you adopt an artist mentality you won’t be able to love the life of your dreams.” Read more>>
Ashleigh Cain
Confidence is something I struggled with everyday. The constant self doubt was crippling and something that I absolutely still work on. As a fashion designer, I used to tell myself “I make beautiful things for beautiful people.” And then I never wore anything I made. One day, I decided that I had to start wearing my clothes to promote my art. And slowly but surely, every time I wore my designs I started to transform. It began as a whisper, but I noticed the eyes, and then how I carried myself a little bit taller. And then one day, I was a beautiful person. I was always worthy to wear my art but it took a little bit of time to realize it. And at the end of the day, it really is just clothes. Stop waiting until you are beautiful to feel worthy, start treating yourself with love and you will realize you have been beautiful the whole time. Read more>>
Jessica Hunt
I developed my confidence and self-esteem by setting personal goals, staying disciplined, and consistently proving to myself that I can follow through on my commitments. It’s not about doing what I say I will do for others but about honoring my own promises to myself and the relationship I have with myself. Read more>>
Elizabeth Ribons
I am the youngest in a large family and was raised by a single mom. I had plenty of challenges, including uncertainty. I had to find what would anchor me in a very uncertain world early on. I gained self-confidence and self-esteem through creativity, challenging myself, and resiliency.
I learned who I was, and that gave me consistency. Read more>>
Sophie Adams
Confidence is not a constant; I would like to express my gratitude for those who wholeheartedly and unconditionally support my creative endeavors, and pull me from the inevitable self-doubt spirals that accompany a creative lifestyle in a capitalist society. Read more>>
Jack Rabid
I got it first from having two parents that had it to start, but when I was a teen and thus at the lower end of that spectrum, I became aware of punk rock together with a small set of friends, and together it gave us not only an ethos and a purpose, but its conceptual basis just plain blew my mind. That it was OK to be “weird” or be a weird object at times of distrust, befuddlement, or even outright worried scorn. That if you develop and follow your actual passions, and they don’t hurt anyone, you need not care if anyone else approves. And you will attract and find others who share them, and you can turn each other on and grow together, and beckon the rest of the world to join you instead of forming an exclusionary club and defining yourself that way. Then you can direct your efforts toward the sincere creation or documentation, and most of all participation, in those passions — especially alternative culture that can use your input and help. You can also laugh at yourself, because you know you’re on to something good and it’s just plain illuminating and enthralling, and also especially inspiring, to keep striving and taking full part in full appreciation. You can especially inspire people with your unabashed love and enthusiasm for all the things that thrill you that you’d like to share; it forms bonds right and left. And if you never lack for real friends, you will have more experiences — and more things that rock your world. And your confidence and self esteem just grow more. If you know who you are, and you know you are doing good things that others might like to do too, it’s very attractive; and you’re attracted to the same things in others. Read more>>
Dominique Draper
Good question. I’ve been raised by some strong-thinking GOD-fearing people. I’m also the oldest of nine siblings so naturally I’ve always felt the need to lead and protect. As a child I did not talk much, instead I used my eyes and ears to pay attention to my surroundings. Because of that, I was able to soak up knowledge from my father and other elders as they conducted business. Since I wasn’t a problem child, most adults would allow me to hang around because they knew “Nique is going to just be chillen”. Watching my father grow his business has taught me how someone can work hard to turn their dreams into reality. Most people have celebrities to look up to but I have my father, a man who is an honorable man. When I began to start my journey as a filmmaker, I would remember how my father would put the pieces to the puzzle together from a cell phone. So I copied and pasted. After many years of practicing the craft of filmmaking and going through the ups and downs, I have been able to find my voice as a filmmaker. Read more>>
Lacey Melguizo
Confidence and self-esteem are two qualities I have had to work hard at growing in my life. Throughout the years, I have faced many challenges, pivots, and setbacks that made me question my worthiness and obstacles that planted seeds of doubt. There were also seeds of strength and hope that I have watered over time and have taken root. My confidence and esteem had a growth spurt when I went through a 300 hour meditation teacher training. Each day, we committed to practicing for 20 minutes. At first, the weeds of negative thoughts and emotions were all I could see, but over time I began to understand that the voices from my past and inner critic did not define me. I started to believe and understand that I didn’t have to live out the script that was given to me, I could author my own story. I began to feel peace of mind and found confidence in each moment and in my breath. Minutes of confidence became hours, which evolved into days, and months and alongside daily practices has given me a foundation of confidence that I can create the life that my heart most longs for. Being supported by a loving community of friends, family, and framily (chosen family) helps these qualities to continue to flourish over time. Read more>>
Jesus Flores
Confidence and self-esteem is something that, to this day, I have always struggled with and overcome though every new journey and part of my life. There are times where i will feel like i will never fit in and that people either don’t like me or judge me by how i look or things I do. But with that being said, its those same feelings that push me and help me gain the confidence i need to keep pushing forward. I begin to see being different is not a bad thing but a tool that can be used to stand out far beyond others. So, for instance in my art, I am willing to take that risk of drawing something abstract as a background that will make my subject stand out rather then make it look like it fits in and just disappears into the picture or even make use of adding colors or designs that you don’t see normally in eyes or backgrounds such as neon or pastels where people will go for more traditional colors. Even when I do magic I will do certain effects in my close-up acts where people would traditionally only do in a bigger setting or on stage and vise versa or use props people are afraid to use such as nontraditional designer playing cards versus more common ones that people are familiar with. And same goes with my photography when it comes to picking a subject or location and backgrounds. Now knowing that standing out can put me in a spot light, I use that to my advantage because I don’t really feel need to waste time comparing my self to others or in a way care what others will think and it allows me to put more focus on what I’m doing and doing it in the best way possible that only I can do. Which in turn boosts my self-esteem and self-worth because without the unnecessary comparison i stop trying to be, look, or act like everyone else and I feel that being my genuine authentic self is what draws people to me and makes them appreciate the work i do and how I do it. Read more>>
Vadiamo
It’s been a long way (and I am still on it) starting from my first steps in music 24 years ago when I learnt every single thing by myself blindly. Only 15 years after I was ready to open myself for the world and what happened was fantastic: people started telling me how good I was (and I just had no idea about that). It made me believe in myself more and more. Sometimes confidence comes from inside of you (and this is the best scenario), but sometimes it may come from someone else around you! Read more>>
Yoontaek Hong
I built my confidence and self-esteem by just diving into things and learning as I go. Starting out in the Korean film and TV industry gave me a solid foundation, but moving to Los Angeles and working on different projects—like documentaries, commercials, and narrative films—really pushed me to grow. Each new challenge helped me step out of my comfort zone and learn more about myself. Read more>>
Jon Ted Wynne
In my estimation, there are four steps to achieving the ability to communicate
effectively. The first is a cinch, as it is instinctive. Virtually everyone is born with the inherent compulsion to communicate with others. This is how we learn to socialize and how we convey our basic needs to one another. Read more>>
Maximillian Naza
Let me break it down for you. Confidence and self-esteem—they’re like building a fortress, brick by brick. Finding humor in every situation is key. When you can laugh at life’s curveballs, you start realizing you can handle anything. Read more>>
Allison Ly
Having and being confident looks different to me than what most people think of immediately.
I don’t need to be the loudest or most outspoken person in the room (I can be, but I don’t need to be). I also don’t need everyone to agree with me (it would be nice, but not necessary). Having the internal confidence of knowing myself, knowing my values and my goals at any given moment in time is the key to confidence and having a good self-esteem which happens through two things: having clarity and practice. Read more>>
Demontae Edmonds
I have discovered two primary ways that my confidence and self-esteem have built over the years. Firstly, learning to celebrate each and every small victory is paramount to building one’s self-worth. Too many individuals wait for the major victories and mountain moments to celebrate their own accomplishments and growth. Celebrating the small achievements will build your confidence little by little over time. It will also prepare you for when there is loss or failure that you will discover that there have been more victories than losses. Read more>>
Stacy Shirk
A lot of it comes from my parents, and their support throughout my life. I was lucky enough to grow up with parents who were both fierce feminists and never tried to limit me with what I wanted to do and accomplish. I had pretty bad abandonment issues as a child, and they sent me to therapy, which was also hugely helpful in shaping who I am, my confidence, and my sense of self. That came in handy when I had some difficult experiences growing up, and making it through those tough times also made me realize my own inner strength. Read more>>
Jonathan Zaldivar
You have to believe in yourself, in your cause and effect. You have to instill this sort of a delusional belief that no one could ever shake, and that no one can ever breakdown. This comes from putting in the work and letting that work speak for itself. Anyone can talk-the-talk, talking about what they can do or what they have the potential to become. But only a selected few can talk-the-talk and walk-the-walk. Read more>>
Daniel Raynott
At the beginning there was the passion to draw, to paint, to devote all his time, his days and sometimes his nights to it.
To discover a passion, there is undoubtedly a positive opinion of oneself, and perhaps a form of unconsciousness which means that we do not ask questions about the future of this passion. Read more>>
Kramer Eggemeyer
Confidence and self-esteem come from throwing yourself out there. Growing up, I was generally class clown however I was always extremely nervous to talk in front of small groups/people but I love to make people laugh. I didn’t start to become extroverted until I started personal training. Personal training is a great career or even a stepping stone into sales. You have client acquisition, retention, sales, and service that you have to deal with. Gives you a great perspective on business as a whole from the service perspective. Years of trial and error, have made me who I am today. I succeed off my failures which has ultimately made me more confident. You can not be scared to look like an *d**t if you want to be successful Read more>>
Nicole Messner
As a boudoir photographer I have the unique opportunity to photograph women in a very vulnerable experience. After photographing hundred of women and listening to each of their fears, insecurities, and struggles I have learned that we are all going through our own battles. I have also learned we can’t let those battles stop us from stepping out of our comfort zone. I developed my confidence by finding something I loved to do and learning from women who trust me to capture them – each of my clients has served as an inspiration to set my insecurities aside and continue to go after what I want from this life. Read more>>
Vic Fu
I developed my confidence and self-esteem by continuously challenging myself and stepping out of my comfort zone. Embracing failures as learning opportunities, setting realistic goals, and surrounding myself with supportive people played a significant role. Practicing self-compassion and recognizing my achievements, no matter how small, also helped in building a positive self-image. Keep trying to creative and get the feedback from the outside world, keep building the connection with the audience. Read more>>
Marcus Stubbs
– My confidence and self-esteem are centered. One of my favorite scriptures that I love is I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). Even through encouraging scriptures I have been battle-tested in a myriad of ways. There were times when I felt defeated, lonely, and depressed. But, I was grounded with a great family, friends, and community. The development process had to deal with understanding my identity, what were my marching orders and how I dared to dream. Knowing that there is an end goal in the endeavors that I had and continue to have, helped me to remember that my confidence and self-esteem continue to get stronger. Read more>>
Paper Michaaye
I developed my confidence and self-esteem by not comparing myself to other people’s success. I learned that we all experience growth differently, at different times. My confidence is there because I only compare myself to my old self. By doing this I get to acknowledge and measure my growth based on my own experiences. Besides all of that, my mother and father made sure that I KNEW how special I was since an early age, so I have never forgotten it. Read more>>
Apex Laurent
As an adult I would describe how I learned confidence as – Taming my ego & turning it into a super power to push through imposter syndrome
But in reality since I was a child I think another way to describe it is, I let my curiosity drive me more than my fear of failure. Read more>>
Memo Vargas
For many years a acted unconsciously doing and behaving according my interpretation of others patterns and belief system. We all want to belong to a something, I called that something the club, and we adapt ourselves to be part of the club until we realize we don’t belong to that club and move to the next one. Read more>>
David Gibson
In my line of work I am frequently speaking in front of people…this can range from small groups within a meeting room or large audiences in a conference building or auditorium.
I did not always have the confidence to speak in public and express myself in front of others. In fact, confidence and self-esteem was an area that I struggled with for years. Read more>>
