We recently connected with Lydia Hannah Wilson and have shared our conversation below.
Lydia Hannah, we can’t begin to explain how much we appreciate you sharing about your PPD experience, but we can say that so many in our community are suffering from or have suffered from postpartum issues including postpartum depression and so you sharing your story and how you overcame it might help someone who is going through it right now or in the future. What can you share with us about how you overcame PPD? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
No mother would want to begin her motherhood journey with such a silent, invisible wall around her! Postpartum depression is never invited, no mother desires it, it just happens & it is not the mothers fault! Hard to understand & harder to accept! Society has often painted motherhood as a gorgeous mama stepping out in a fancy stroller, showing off her cute blessing & yes, it is true, every mother is gorgeous but the story does not end there & sadly no one talks about it. I was one among those mothers who always thought I will feel on top of the world, with the bundle of joy in my arms & feeling the best version of myself, little by little everything was crumbling within me & I was in total denial, not understanding why I am feeling this way, tried my best to paste a smile while I was exhausted with the battle inside. Thank God, a friend of mine who studied psychology noticed me! She is a fellow Christ follower, a mother & an excellent friend, during my conversation with her is when I understood such a thing exists & there is a name to what I was feeling, postpartum depression.
I am a blessed mother to 3 little miracles, first one in the arms of Jesus, second a 4 year old & third a 2 year old. All pregnancies I struggled with insane nausea, throwing up 5-7 times a day, thanks to the dancing hormones! It was manageable when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, as it was just me & my husband, where do I even begin to mention the things he did for me during that phase! We were thrilled to welcome our child & it was past 40 weeks there was no sign of labor! Long story short, after 4 days of intense labor pains our little miracle arrived via emergency c-section. The trauma during the labor & all the medical interventions I was not prepared happened & I never talked to anyone how agonizing those few days have been & just straight began my motherhood journey. I did not realize I had begun to bottle things inside me & the mastered the art of denial by then, nursing was a huge struggle I barely lactated. Until a lactation doctor visited me during my next delivery & told me with the amount of trauma & medication there is no way I could have lactated, gave me relief no words can express! Endless days & nights I spent crying & wondering if I was a bad mother, I started to bleed pumping but no sign of milk.
After a year and a few months, I was pregnant with my third child. Struggle started when I could barely cook for my 1 year old child due to nausea. Because of the previous delivery my OBGYN suggested for a scheduled c-section & because the baby was breach. The feelings I denied during the previous birth resurfaced at the surgery table, my previous child was sunny side up (face first) the doctors had to push the baby back up to pull out of the 8 inch cut, in spite the spinal anesthesia, the feeling of them pulling the baby & other sensations were present. Faced those fears in denial on the table, again with high hopes towards blissful motherhood we welcomed our baby home & the next day I was rushed to emergency with severe preeclampsia! This time I was so proud I was lactating but my stay in the hospital kept me away from the baby, oh the pain in my heart when they had to dump the milk away because of the medication. This is when things started to get worse, I absolutely hated going out because I did not like the way I looked! In fact I had forgotten the art of dressing up, tract pants & t shirts had become my besties, since it was end of winter always hid myself in the winter jacket. Spring season terrified me, I had to come out of my winter coat! I was barely smiling, just wanted to be alone, coming from Indian roots, traditional postpartum care made me cringe within myself, my mom & my in-laws were there this time to care for us but I failed to explain them what I was feeling. I thought this battle is within me & it is I who needs to deal with it. That is when my friend stepped in & explained me about PPD postpartum depression. I had to explain the above challenges so that you will have a glimpse of what I was dealing with, how it all began.
The first step that helped me overcome PPD was the knowledge of what postpartum depression is, this helped me understand that what I was feeling has a name to it & it was not my fault. We mothers spend endless hours beating ourselves for the things that are not in our control! I found great comfort that many Bible heroes like David, Job, Jeremiah & Elijah delt with depression & the beauty in God’s rescue plan! David says, “Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” – Psalm 143:7-8, NIV. Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God. – Psalm 42:5 AMPC
When Elijah was afraid, discouraged & weary, God delt gently with him, He provided food & water in the wilderness, emphasized on rest until he gained strength. God met Elijah in a cave, in that solitude he heard God speak to him. 1 Kings 19: 3-9
Jesus is the same yesterday, today & forever (Hebrews 13:8) The God who met Elijah then is the same God today, He delights to meet each one of us right where we are! He gently heals & puts our broken pieces together. His invitation is for everyone who believe in Him with all their heart & trust Jesus in the process of being made whole!
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Lydia Hannah Designs is my brain child, I specialize in three distinct art styles: henna, calligraphy & fine arts. Bridal henna artistry that weaves intricate tales on hands, calligraphy that transforms words into visual poetry, and fine art services that paint emotions onto canvas. I believe my heart towards it, forges a unique place in the modern market. Apart from these I enjoy engraving on glass, ceramics & metal with elegant calligraphy, I love painting fun colorful murals both traditional Indian art styles & contemporary modern art.
Meeting a wide variety of clients excites me, from brides who narrate their love stories as I work henna on their hands to the warm hospitality of the families, from challenging large scale murals to painting portraits that could be a heirloom worthy wall décor for generations after them to witness, art in any of these forms excites my heart, sparks wonder & builds gratitude one client at a time.
I enjoy writing & am super excited about a new project coming this fall (hopefully). I am a big cheer girl for the moms who are raising strong future fine men & women, my heart is that moms find their God–given purpose in their journey of motherhood. Mom life may seems mediocre in the eyes of the world but Kingdom of God celebrates you & recognizes you beyond any earthly title.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three qualities I can never forget & each time it only gets deeper are WONDER, PERSPECTIVE & EMBRACE! As a child I remember spending time just admiring the handiwork of God in nature, the wonder to envision how God spoke things into existence & they were made. Today as an artist Wonder is a fuel without which creativity would die. Perspective is essential to zoom out of the current situations & find solace, it is in that calm corners of the mind new ideas sprout. Embrace those days when you don’t feel a thing to create & also embrace those days when you are flooded with gazillion ideas. It’s ok if the painting is undone, its ok if you want to restart, embrace the today so that tomorrow will take its shape in the NOW.
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
It is my parents, who so lovingly encouraged me to take leaps when I thought I could not. Their confidence in me fueled me, gave me that space to explore what I am passionate about. The essential skills I learnt was from my mom, she is an amazing woman, her patience and focus in completing her tasks whether as a mother or a nurse taught me so much, probably she doesn’t even know. Her work taught me to bring things to perfect completion not just do it because you have to. My urge to bring finesse in what I do today comes from her!
James 1:17 says, Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. Another such perfect gift is my husband, a genius guy, my very own Vicki-pedia, Mr. Vicky Wilson Jacob, he holds the key to my heart! It is no joke when God unites two people as one in marriage, it is not just a fancy saying, it is a mystery of selfless love. Thank God he understands art little here & there or else what I do would be mumbo jumbo to him. After my parents if anyone truly understood my passion for art is my husband, in the fast changing life from being two people in love, to newlyweds & then becoming parents to our little cupcakes, art kind of took a back seat. Through every challenge, he stood by me as a silent pillar, admirer, critic & an invisible dome around me all time everytime!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://lydiahannahdesigns.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lydiahannahdesigns/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563161424652&mibextid=LQQJ4d
Image Credits
J and N Studios
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
