Inevitably you will find yourself in a room where no one else is like you. They might not look like you, speak like you, pray or love like you or think like you. Managing to be effective in all contexts is an essential part of your journey towards reaching your full potential and so we asked some brilliant members of the community to share their stories and advice.
Rebecca Love
It was when I stepped off the plane on my first visit to Kenya in 2006, I realized black and white was going to color my experience in such a profound way I would never be the same. nor would my work. I developed a deep appreciation of the oneness of all colors. I was on this journey with a group of deeply committed people whose hearts for the oppressed outweighed any purpose I had at the moment for my own life’s path and desires. Each step deeper into Kenya’s landscapes and village environments brought me closer to that oneness. Read More>>
Richard E. Waits
I had the rare gift of starting my education in a spacious, open-classroom school—where I spent nearly a decade, from preschool through eighth grade.
There were no rows of desks—only open space to move, gather, and discover.
We mainly sat on the floor. The low tables were tucked in corners, meant for kneeling while writing or doing arts and crafts—positions that, as I now realize, were great for blood circulation and flexibility. I didn’t know that then. But I needit now! Read More>>
Shubhra Jain
“Being the only one in the room” has been less of a rare moment and more of a familiar pattern throughout my journey. As a first-generation Indian woman building something from scratch in a space where I rarely saw anyone who looked like me, I’ve had to learn to trust my own voice—even when it felt quiet or uncertain. Read More>>
Liadin Stewart
Many times in my life I have been told that I am the only female director my actors have worked with, when assisting on projects I also find myself being the only female-identifying person on the directing team. This doesn’t ever stop being overwhelming to me, even when I am at my most confident there is still a part of me that feels I have to compensate for my femininity in some way, to apologize that I am me. When I have moments of self-doubt in the room I am reminded of one simple fact, I stand on the shoulders of giants. This is a phrase my mother would reassure me with when I was in my formative years as a young artist. Read More>>
Karla Trotman
I’m in the electronics manufacturing industry. The tables at which I sit tend to be homogenous. Initially, I spent much of my time listening to the many shared experiences and agreements among members. I realized that sitting there and saying nothing was not enhancing the conversation or expanding the thought processes. Eventually, I learned that my lived experience allowed the energy to shift and mindsets to grow. My perspective caused folks to lean in and dig deeper into issues. It became a tremendous value add. Read More>>
Liana Brackett
I start off by thinking “Why not me?” when I’m standing in a room and I’m the only one in there who looks like me. Because why shouldn’t I be in that room when everyone else has a place in it. I used to be more self-aware of how I looked, how I spoke, how I came across to others…it was all about me. I feel like that self-awareness stilted my chances of real connection to others, regardless of what they look like or what they do. Read More>>
Josh Fournier
Being a Comedian who is Native and performing in front of people who aren’t native has always been a goal of mine. There’s obviously an avenue for native comedians to pursue comedy on what we call “The Frybread Trail” which is cool but I’ve always looked up to comedians who always were different. That being said allot of line ups I’m apart of consist of me being “the only one in the room who looks like me” and at first it was sort of Daunting but being the only one who looks like me has always been sort of how I grew up. Read More>>
Annette Cho
When I am the only one in the room, I try to understand where this sense of isolation comes from on a broader scale and seek out connections with others who share similar feelings and thoughts.
I was fortunate to easily build a community as a minority in Korea—both as a woman and queer. However, when I attended a conservatory art school in the U.S., I became the only Asian in my cohort. Spending two years as the only Asian in my classes presented an entirely different challenge. The pervasive influence of Western and white supremacy—both in South Korea and globally—began to wear on me. Read More>>
Sean Dowdell
Many times I found myself as the only person that remotely looks like me. Especially in the 1990’s and early 2000’s being fully tattooed was not mainstream or accepted quite like it is today.
When I was able to get into a higher end conversation or business meeting I found myself being looked down upon very quickly. It was easy to know who underestimated me in a given conversation just from body language or the insincerity of their tone or questions. Read More>>
Danyiel Coleman
I have learned to be effective / successful in rooms where I am the only person that looks like me , by , truly and honestly understanding my own character . Your character is who you are and who you are is what your actions show , and in turn , what your words back up . Those are called morals and principles . To be able to stand in any space , where essentially, I am outnumbered, I have found a trust and confidence within who I am and who I truly present myself to be by showing up authentically , facing the world and all of its truths and unfiltered rawness , head on . Read More>>
Sienna Grant Mitsak
Being the youngest woman in the room—and an ethnic woman at that—can definitely come with its challenges, but I’ve learned to embrace it as an opportunity rather than a setback. As the founder of Flourish By Sage, I’ve had to walk into spaces where I might be the only one who looks like me, and at first, that felt intimidating. But over time, I’ve realized that my perspective, my experiences, and the uniqueness I bring to the table are what make me stand out in the best way. Read More>>
Cyril Howell Jr
The way I approach it is with the idea that I obviously have something to offer. If you are in the room you deserve to be there, now the other side of that is being knowledgeable of other people who were or should have been in these rooms. So, in that sense I feel a responsibility to speak up or create opportunity for people or organizations that are good at what they do but not necessarily recognized by our counterparts, specifically as a black man. Read More>>
Vince Pascua
Walk your path with confidence. Be proud of who you are, what you do and the person you are becoming. When people ask me what I do, I tell them, “I’m a CPR Training Instructor!” I tell them as a statement because I want people to feel the pride I have in myself – I don’t sound like I’m just mentioning it to you; I’m telling you! I’ve always gone by the saying of “never judge a book by its cover.” It would be foolish to judge people by how they look. Read More>>
Carl Tietze
The dilemma of being the only one in the room that looks like me or has my skills is the answer itself. By realizing I had a larger ‘toolset’ of skills in music and video storytelling than anyone else I’ve encountered gave me the confidence I needed to forge ahead. I also was told many times by mentors to not worry about what others think about my work or me personally because the hard truth is that most people don’t think about anyone else’s work besides their own. This gave me a great deal of freedom to be myself. Read More>>
Jamila Conley
I started my leadership career early and often found myself to not only be the only woman or person of color in the room but often the youngest. I quickly learned the importance of utilizing facts and data to present my points so that my contributions stood on merit and value versus if people liked me or if I fit in. This not only boosted my professional and personal value but helped me identify the overlooked value in others. Read More>>
