We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Monique Waugh a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Monique, looking forward to learning from your journey. You’ve got an amazing story and before we dive into that, let’s start with an important building block. Where do you get your work ethic from?
Definitely Janice Marlow, my mom. She left home at an early age, and has always made a way for herself. When we(me and my 3 sisters) came into the picture, I think she kicked it into overdrive. She was always working. We didn’t always have what we wanted, but we most definitely had what we needed. She never relied on excuses, emotion, or adversity. She hustled… period. The thing that makes it so inspiring is how she made it look easy. She was always graceful, kind, and willing to help. Our friends that came to our home never left hungry, she held us accountable for being scholars, she made gift bags for classmates and teachers for the holidays, and she was present for all of our events. She’s truly a superstar!
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
My story begins in a small country town called Demopolis, Alabama. It was me, my parents, and my three sisters all in one house. We didn’t have a lot, but we had plenty of the things money can’t buy. We were always close as a family, we supported one another, we looked out for each other.
When I was 8, we moved to Birmingham. It honestly felt harder to live there. Country poor is a little better than city poor! We went without lights, water, the whole shabang, but we never lost the love that was in our home. We had talent shows, did each other’s hair, had movie nights with the collection of vhs tapes we had. The bad memories existed, but the good memories are far more pertinent.
My sisters and I are still extremely close to this day, they are and will forever be my first best friends. I didn’t really appreciate them as a teen(those teenage emotions are something else) but as an adult, I can’t see life without them, they are always my first phone call when I need to vent, have a laugh, even gossip lol. My family built the foundation for how I maintain relationships to this day.
My focus in the mental health space is to develop a place for black women to “fill thier cup.” I’ve come across so many phenomenal black women who are just tired. Black women help the world go round, but they don’t often get the support they need to be refreshed and renewed. I am a firm believer that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and you have to utilize self-care to continue to be there for others. With my mental health initiatives, I want to be that refreshing space.
There are four things that I am working on to complete this goal. Currently I am hosting a mental heal book club called ‘Sisterhood Stories: Healing Minds, Uplifting Spirits.’ We will meet periodically on a virtual platform each month to discuss books by black authors that help drive discussions about the mental health of black women. Our first meeting will be held September 21st at 1:30pm. Registration is closed for this specific event. But once the first book is complete, registration will be re-opened.
The next three initiatives are still in development. I’d like to give each one my full attention so that they can be delivered properly. Mental health is a delicate thing, so I don’t want to just do them for notoriety, I want them to be effective. The second initiative includes a retreat for black women, the third retreat is for entrepreneurial black women, and the final initiative is a couples retreat. I am in for a busy next couple of years!
Anyone interested in joining, volunteering, or sponsoring can reach out to me via email at moniquemarlow@gmail.com. They can also follow me on instagram @lady_waugh
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I was just reflecting on this before I turned 30 last month. I made a list of my favorite quotes. The first one was “Love those who make you feel like you’re easy to love.” This goes back to my family. As I stated earlier, I model my relationships with people based on how I interacted with my family. We never required each other to change, we have unwavering support for one another, and we put love above any issue we are having.
The second quote that inspires me is “Choose peace.” This came from watching my mom overwork herself, she never really had time to catch her breath until we all became adults. This made me find a good work like balance. I stand on the shoulders of the work my mom put in, she worked that hard so I wouldn’t have to. When I am at work, I don’t get upset about things that are outside of my control, and when that time ends, I go home!
The third quote is “A lazy man works twice.” In this day and age with everything moving so rapidly, social media can be very convincing in having us believe that we need to have it all together right now in this moment. It’s impossible. Shortcuts exist, but you’ll always have to double back and take the long road anyway. Anything that’s substantial to your mental, financial, and physical just has to take time to develop.
The advise that I would give those coming behind me would be to understand that anything worth having requires sacrifice (which is another quote I live by). Life happens in phases, and in order to get to the next phase (and stay there) it is going to require you giving something up. It can be a sacrifice of your time, where you give up unproductive habits. It can be money, where you sacrifice bad financial habits. It can even be your thought process, where you change your mind to enter this new phase. The reward is always worth it.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
I really have to give it to my support system. They’ve each given me something at every step in life, to help me get where I am today. My mom was helpful in building my work ethic. I learned from her to be present, be kind, and not to rely on excuses.
My sisters helped me to love others, the bond that we share has set a standard for how I build relationships with people. The relationships I maintain have to have kindness overall, followed by support, and finally time spent with one another.
My friends that I’ve made have always provided a sounding board for my ideas, helping me think them through and make sure I’ve thought of all of the details. They even serve as focus groups for a couple of my business ideas. I appreciate them greatly.
Lastly my husband, he is ground zero when I fall short. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I don’t show it publicly at all. But in private, he has witnessed my unraveling. In those moments he helps me express what I’m feeling, validates my emotions, and does his best to make me feel better. He also encourages me to push for the stars, no matter what, he’s my number one supporter and I love him dearly.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lady_waugh?igsh=eTA0djk4YW54enJm&utm_source=qr
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/nsQtCMU1iL8EDGYo/?mibextid=LQQJ4d
- Linkedin: Check out Monique Waugh’s profile on LinkedIn
Image Credits
Ashley Victoria Lens Photography
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