Meet Tara Desouza

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Tara Desouza. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Tara below.

Tara, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

I developed my confidence by learning that if I step into a new situation and I don’t know how it will unfold, I will figure it out because I have myself.

See, I used to think I was confident. I could make friends easily, keep a conversation going, even charm a room. But when it came to relationships, especially leaving ones that were harmful, I realized that kind of confidence didn’t count for much. I could talk to anyone, but I couldn’t trust myself to act in my own best interest. I did not think I could survive a breakup because I did not believe I had my own back.

I stayed in toxic dynamics over and over because I did not know how to step away or set boundaries. I developed anxiety before anything even happened because I was terrified of ending up alone. I would talk in therapy each week about the same issues, and if a breakup happened, I would find myself in another unhealthy relationship just to fill the void and avoid sitting with that fear. The cycle continued because I did not trust myself to leave what was hurting me.

Eventually, I reached my limit. I realized that if I did not develop the confidence to stand on my own and survive being alone, I would be stuck in this loop forever. I could not take it anymore. I needed a different approach.

Around the time I decided to let go and seek new help, I met a therapeutic coach who incorporated hypnosis. I had tried everything, so this felt like my last attempt. To my surprise, it was powerful. It was not just talking through my problems. I was already very good at overthinking. This time, I learned practical tools and techniques to build confidence.

That was the first time I understood that confidence is a skill. It is something you practice, like learning a dance routine or learning to drive. We worked directly with the anxiety and fear that had been running my decisions. I learned how to regulate my emotions so they no longer controlled me. Slowly, I began to trust that I could make decisions and stand by them.

As my confidence grew, I started breaking the cycle of emotionally manipulative relationships. Each time I walked away and chose myself, my self-esteem grew too. I respected myself more because I followed through on decisions that protected me.

Building confidence and self-esteem did not just change my relationships. It changed how I approached life. I realized that no matter what I wanted to do, I could learn the skills to get there. I became a better student of life because I trusted myself in new situations. I no longer avoided the unknown. I stepped into it.

Reaching that place felt like a breakthrough. I never thought I would get there. I promised myself that if I could learn these skills and change my life, I would learn how to teach them to others. So I did. I trained in the same tools that helped me, and now I help others build the confidence to handle whatever life places in front of them.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’ve always been someone who loves learning new things. Besides being a trauma-informed therapeutic coach, I’m also a UX/UI designer and a fire theatrical performer, and over the years that curiosity has led me into many other creative and exploratory spaces. I’m constantly exploring different hobbies and interests because I don’t believe in the shortened version of “jack of all trades, master of none.” I like to say, “Jack of all trades, master of none, but a student of the soul in every one.”

In my own life, every interest or hobby I’ve followed, every dance class, every design project, every fire performance, and every deep conversation arrived at a time when I needed it. None of it was random. Each pursuit helped bring to the surface a part of me I was searching for and trying to strengthen. At the time, I didn’t know those qualities were already within me. I thought I was missing them. Looking back, I can see I was unconsciously seeking experiences that would draw them out. Dance helped me practice confidence before I fully felt it. Fire performance strengthened my presence and sense of self. Design sharpened my logical thinking skills. Even conversation has taught me how to listen beneath the surface.

What excites me most is my work in therapeutic coaching because it is the most powerful and foundational work I do. I love seeing lives change, women who never thought they would get through narcissistic abuse learning not just to be comfortable alone, but to truly enjoy their own company. That inner freedom creates space for them to choose love, not out of survival, but out of desire, and that is deeply meaningful to me. I draw from a variety of therapeutic modalities depending on what each person needs, including hypnosis, NLP, Time Line Therapy®, and coaching. There is no playbook for healing as each person’s path looks different, which is why I love one-on-one work. It allows me to meet someone exactly where they are and guide them fully into their own personal state of healing and empowerment.

My one-on-one sessions are packaged into 12-week programs because that’s enough time to truly see how powerful the work can be and how much change someone can experience, even after years of difficult relationships. In our sessions, I teach actual therapeutic techniques that clients can continue using long after our work together. While we focus on navigating healing after narcissistic relationships, life keeps moving and new challenges or feelings may arise. Because clients have learned tools and techniques during our sessions, they can use them in the moment to move through these experiences, which builds self-confidence and self-trust. It’s incredible to witness these journeys. One client recently got happily married while another is fully comfortable being on her own, going to concerts with friends, feeling safe within herself, and exploring more of who she is. Right now I’m focused on one-on-one work because everyone is different and this allows me to help each person most effectively. I do plan to expand in the future with group workshops, and the best way to stay updated is to join my email list.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Looking back, the three qualities that were most impactful in my journey are personal responsibility, perseverance, and self-trust.

The first step is personal responsibility, the recognition that we can change the trajectory of our own lives. All our behaviors and feelings come from somewhere. We are not the way we are just because. If we had a difficult childhood or were cared for by people who treated us poorly, we develop coping mechanisms, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting, that helped us survive then. Those same patterns do not always serve us as adults. They follow us because they are familiar, not because they add value to the life we want now.

The responsibility now falls on us to change those patterns. It is natural to wish that the people who hurt us would take responsibility, to think that they should be the ones to do the work. But the truth is we cannot control what others do. We can only take responsibility for ourselves and how we choose to move forward. Choosing that path gives us back the power that waiting for someone else to change cannot. It is absolutely possible to learn how to do this. There are tools and techniques to help reframe thoughts, regulate emotions, and develop behaviors that serve our lives today. This allows us to act with agency, make choices aligned with who we are now, and live life on our own terms.

The second quality is perseverance. Change does not happen in a single session or conversation. It is built through daily practice and repetition. By applying practical tools consistently, reinforcing healthier ways of thinking, and practicing new responses before we are triggered, we gradually make those habits second nature. This steady effort lays the groundwork for lasting change and helps us respond thoughtfully rather than automatically react.

The third quality is self-trust. As we practice responsibility and perseverance, we begin to trust ourselves, to honor our boundaries, navigate difficult situations, and step into healthier relationships. We start to enjoy love and connection without fear because we know we have our own backs. Self-trust grows from experience, choosing differently, acting for ourselves, and seeing that we can survive, adapt, and thrive.

Developing these qualities starts with understanding yourself, why certain patterns exist, how past experiences shaped you, and what triggers you. That awareness gives you the power to choose differently today. With guidance, these skills can be learned, practiced, and strengthened, creating a life that is aligned with who you truly are and capable of navigating whatever comes next.

How would you describe your ideal client?

If you are someone who has experienced childhood trauma, been in a narcissistic relationship, or feels stressed or anxious about the future and you want to come out the other side but aren’t sure how, I’d love to work with you. I know what it feels like to sacrifice yourself for the sake of love and to feel uncomfortable being alone.

Just like I found a way forward by recognizing that overcoming these hardships is a skill, I can guide you in developing it too. In our sessions, you’ll learn practical tools and techniques to regulate your emotions so they no longer overwhelm you. Together, we can gently address the wounds from your life experiences so they lose their power over you.

This work is for those willing to explore themselves with curiosity, kindness, and courage and to take honest steps toward change so you can learn to trust yourself again and create a life that truly feels aligned with who you are.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.taratherapeuticcoaching.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taratherapeuticcoaching/

Image Credits

Mark Westman