It’s okay to be scared, often that’s a sign that you are pushing yourself towards greatness. However, it’s equally important to build up your confidence and we hope the conversations presented below can help provide some food for thought around how you can level up your confidence and self-esteem.
Elizabeth Raley
I built my confidence and also self-esteem for my knowledge of elopement weddings and specifically photographing them by doing them. A lot! Over the past 22 years since I’ve been out of college, the biggest thing that I have learned about confidence is that it is tied right next to experience and the only way you get experience is to just do something. And do it over and over and over with as many people as you can. I’ve photographed literally thousands of elopement weddings at this point and been in charge of planning them as well. After a while you begin to see patterns, be able to predict things, and know what is going to happen. This can be in regard to photographing different kinds of people (like extroverted people, shy people, people who say they hate having their photo taken, young or old people, etc) and know that there are usually some things that will hold true for a category. However, it’s always surprising when a situation breaks the mold and it can be quite fun! From my extensive experience, I am confident and feel a self esteem boost when I’m able to break through someone’s walls for photos, successfully predict the weather based off of years of doing that, or ease a nervous couple’s fears through email or in person. Read more>>
Ashley Cook
As I was younger (mainly in my early teenage years), I always noticed that people would find any kind of way to put me down. I was misunderstood a lot, quiet in school but I did have my few friends that I hung out with from time to time. I used to let a lot of things and people get to me. That was a huge mistake and a mistake I definitely have learned from. As I got older, I have realized that I should not let what people think and say bother me. Read more>>
Meg Royston
I think I still need to be more confident at times! Ha! But really, I was a pretty shy kid and then in my early 20s, I look back and see I lacked confidence, I was a bit of a mess, I was not sure what I wanted to do with my life. Now, in my late 30’s, I feel much more confident about life in general and in my career choices. I think the closer you get to 40, the less you care about what other people think of you and you just go for it! Ha! I think confidence comes with age, maturity, and experience. Also, from having family and friends that support you – I am blessed to have both. I remember the first wedding I ever coordinated on my own years ago, oh my goodness, I left that wedding crying and called my mom and told her how terrible it went. And honestly, it wasn’t that terrible, I just lacked the confidence and experience. My feelings were hurt that some of the Wedding Party weren’t listening to my directions. Nowadays, with age and experience, I get them to listen, and if they don’t, well, it doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore because I am confident in my ability as a wedding planner. Read more>>
Brandon Choi
Identify my strengths, abilities and achievements. Be honest and include everything I am proud of, no matter how small. Think about what they mean to me and why they’re important to me. Read more>>
SkinnyJay
Confidence from me comes from always giving myself grace to endless possibilities, self esteem comes from just building myself to face adversity through my life. Smiling and always believing in myself Read more>>
Alain Martínez Machado
I would say that the development of self-esteem goes hand in hand with your work and professional growth, that work fulfillment helps a lot to how you face future problems. In recent years, many people have developed self-esteem problems, and it is due to the vulnerability that is created both on social networks and in life in general. In my particular case, I have a very important mantra that helps me feel good every time I think I’m not. I developed a defense mechanism against any insult or aggression on social networks. Every day I work a lot in myself, I train, I read, I practice sports; all those activities help to socialize and develop a personality base, your personality defines who you are, and defines what hurts you and what doesn’t. Read more>>
Jahrobi Ihsan
Throughout my childhood, I experienced inner conflict due to my essence not reflecting mainstream representations in my communities. I was afraid to live in my truth and be my authentic self. My self-esteem and confidence were very low. As a young adult, I began to understand that I was in a very dark place. Being in such an unhealthy mental state allowed me to begin reflecting on my life and the direction I was headed towards. As an adult, I’ve learned to love myself and understand who I am by following my dreams and intuition. I’ve spent time learning to accept my flaws, stay true to my inner thoughts, and speak positive things into existence. I’ve also spent time learning to communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries with others for the sake of my growth and peace. Read more>>
Ali Shuster
Thank you for having me! I would like to share a story that helped to shape my confidence. When I was a little girl, I remember my mother telling me how beautiful, intelligent, and funny I was. This was not a new occurrence as she often encouraged me and said sweet things to me. However, on one particular day, after she told me those things, I thanked her, and then she added an extra layer to her compliment. Read more>>
Alex Amato
Things like confidence and self-esteem are really tricky, and I feel like I’m still learning what these mean to me and look like in my life. Like a lot of artists, I’ve was always a very shy and introverted kid. I’m sure all the time spent in your own mind is what creates the stories and the voice of the artist you want to become but it does make being social very difficult (lol). I started my career in music very late, at the age of 18, and it forced me to look at myself realistically and say “if I want to do this, I need to develop a stronger self-esteem and be confident in who I am personally and musically.” It took years of intentional work to get to the point I’m at today, which is being comfortable in a room of strangers and being able to talk with them freely. It’s all about putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations and learning from them, Learning that you can’t please everyone or be everyone’s favorite artist is definitely a hard one to accept, but that has also been key in allowing myself the grace to just be me and be confident in that. Read more>>
Brittney “BOBBIE” DeMars
Building my confidence and self-esteem has been an ongoing journey and a continual work in progress for me, and in doing so has shown to be major keys for navigating through different spaces, and through life in general. I can honestly say I have worked extremely hard to break down the limiting beliefs I held about myself – from the things I was told since a child, to the beliefs I created within myself as a result of the things I’d gone through. And honestly, when I began my journey developing my confidence and self esteem, there was no going back after that. Read more>>
Cheryl L. Bridges
As a young African American woman, my journey towards self-confidence and self-esteem was deeply rooted in the values instilled by my parents. Growing up, I witnessed their unwavering trust in God and their commitment to hard work, integrity, respect, and love. These foundational values formed the basis of my identity. However, it was during my latter years that I truly began to see the power of these principles in action. Additionally, I adopted an attitude of self-awareness which included seeking to learn as much as possible about myself, examining my values (what’s important to me), leveraging what I learned and focusing on what mattered most to me. Embracing my natural gifts, coupled with the skillsets I gained through various life experiences, employment opportunities, and personal challenges, allowed me to not only guide others on their paths but also to recognize my own worth and potential. It’s a journey that continues to unfold and inspire me (and others) every day. Read more>>
Jan Huling
After graduating from the Kansas City Art Institute, I worked for many years as a (mostly freelance) commercial artist. I designed everything from wildflower seed packets to bedding, dinnerware to doll furniture, holiday decor to, well, whatever anyone asked for. It was fun and certainly never boring, but since it was commercial work, I always needed to please the client and those clients needed to be in on the design process every step of the way, from initial sketches through color comps to final art, often asking for tweaks in order to make the final product more acceptable to a broad audience. Read more>>
Brian Wooden
A big part of confidence for me isn’t necessarily the presence of a particular skill set or achievement, but instead the lack of those negative voices in the back of one’s mind. I think working towards your goals and skill sets go hand in hand with this this notion; by focusing on what you want out of life or want to achieve then you are automatically wiring your brain to focus on that instead of giving it room for the negative self talk to creep in. Read more>>
Marco Pelusi
I was lucky as a young boy, growing up in a household where my talents, skills and abilities were not only fostered, but encouraged. My mother and father both saw my potential, and they individually spent time helping me grow and develop. This kind of childhood is irreplaceable. My self esteem and confidence still lives deep inside today because of this love and support. Not only that, but my family had a chain of salons (still do) back east, and I found a love for hairdressing and haircoloring, and it gave me a chance to truly build up my skill level, and therefore my confidence level built up more surrounding this, with time. I also had an opportunity to start teaching haircolor, for many years now, and the teaching has also boosted my confidence. Read more>>
Anna Hashizume
I think confidence and self-esteem are always a work in progress and I definitely have moments of vulnerability where I doubt myself. But overall, I think a lot of my confidence and self-esteem come from the hard work I’ve put into my craft. I feel the most confident in my abilities as a singer and an actor because I’ve put in the work. I always tell my students, you can’t be confident in something if you don’t know what you’re doing. Competence leads to confidence. Read more>>
Lisa Tahir
I believe that we are developing confidence and self-esteem all throughout our lifespan. The steps we have taken in the past to allow ourselves to achieve a goal become the memories we can walk upon now to complete our next desire, and the one after that, and so on… We build confidence by completing things that we aren’t sure how to do, yet we desire these outcomes for our life and chip away at our goals. This is how I have become more confident and secure in my own skin. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself and that brings great emotional freedom because I am not competing with anyone. Read more>>
Stephanie , Ifeatu Ebisi
In the past, I have struggled greatly with self-confidence and owing all my talents in the abundance of it. When I began to find and figure out all my talents, I was honestly marveled at everything God had placed in me so I began working so hard on improving myself to be good at each of them simultaneously. So basically I realized that it was possible to have all these talents and that God knew what he was up to when he placed them in me. What really inspired me to be more confident is remembering that the talents that God gives me is not just for my own good but for me to share with the world. One bible verse that has strengthened me so far is Philippians 4:13. Read more>>
Arielle Zorger
If you would have asked me 4 years ago if I was confident or had good self-esteem I would say NO-WAY! I had no professional art training or experience in starting my own business, but I knew that I loved creating new designs + products and I never wanted to do anything else. It was all I could think about, it was all I wanted to do – any free moment I had. It did however, take a few years to get past the “imposter syndrome” of not being good enough or well known as other Judaica artists. I was always shocked when I would get an order and then I would stress out from the moment it was placed until they received it in hopes they “actually” liked it. It took a complete change in my mindset to finally gain the confidence of my Jewish lifestyle brand to have the potential to be as big as I dreamed. As soon as I started believing in myself, and believing I was good enough, and believing in my products the self-esteem followed suit. Read more>>
Desiree Van Nice
I would say I developed my confidence and self-esteem through self love ! Confidence has nothing to do with one’s body shape, eye color, hair length, gender, but has everything to do with what radiates when someone enters a room. When you love yourself fully you radiate an energy known as confidence (at least what I think) it’s how you carry yourself. I don’t just mean outfit but the energy(the self love) you feel about yourself. Once I really truly loved myself is when I started exuding confidence. And I didn’t wait for an event in my life to occur to start loving myself, I just decided I needed to put what I put into other people into me, and that was love;self love. I want to share a specific moment when I was weighing in at 245 lbs at 5’4 when I felt extremely confident. I was in Miami with some girl friends and I had bought clothes that were super out of my comfort zone and decided to say screw it and just wear them. I gained my power back that trip. I had never felt more confident and in love with myself. So what I say to anyone struggling with confidence, try a new style, new makeup, new hair, change it up and OWN IT; whatever feels like YOU, do it! Read more>>
Treasure
Embarking on a journey into the world of vegan baking wasn’t just about creating delicious treats without animal products; it became a catalyst for boosting my confidence and self-esteem. As a beginner, the challenges I faced in the kitchen mirrored the hurdles I had encountered in life, ultimately leading to personal growth and empowerment. Read more>>
Coach Dee Coleman
As a queer life coach/author I define confidence as an act of self-love and expression. Having the courage to live authentically and unapologetically. This wasn’t always the case for me. At 40 years old, I have finally found my voice in this world. I know my mission and my purpose of being here in this physical and spiritual realm. As I heal my wounded inner child and free myself from a cage of limitations integrated in my mind from trauma, I inspire others to take the inner journey of self-love and shadow healing. This is where our confidence is activated. We learn to believe in ourselves, trust ourselves and live in our truths fearlessly. For me, I add both inner and outer expression to my self-confidence. Read more>>
Suvojit Mukherjee
I was not confident at all as a child. My parents helped me a lot in gaining confidence. My mother used to encourage me to participate in everything including dance, drawing, recitation etc. which gradually helped me to build confidence. Then, when I started dancing and modelling, I even became more confident. Stage feels like home to me now. I feel like I am more confident onstage or in front of public now. Read more>>
Dan Shaikh
I often get complimented on my confidence and energy as a host at Speaker Slam shows, but what many don’t realize is that I once lived in the shadows, silenced by my insecurities. I was a mute. Read more>>
Annika Egerstedt
My confidence really started when I moved states. Coming from a smaller studio I was one of the most advanced so when I got to a bigger studio I was a little defeated. I had to realize that there are so many people with amazing talents that I will never have to recognize that everyone is gifted in their own way. There is plenty of opportunities for people and it’s important to celebrate others rather than compare myself to them or let jealousy damped my mood. This made me realize my strengths and focus on myself and really start developing my own style. That was a year ago and I still struggle with confidence but I am able to wake up each day and be happy with who I am and my skill set. I try not to compare but instead appreciate what everyone brings to the table. Read more>>
Patrick Jones
I realized I was gay at a very young age. Being born and growing up in the 60s, things were different back then when it came to expressing your true self. With how society was back then, I knew things would be challenging, but I know I’m a good person, and the little fact about myself being gay should not prevent me from being who I was and being part of society. I was fortunate to be raised in a disciplined family that helped me shape a mentality that to succeed in life, I need to be confident, secure, and comfortable about myself. Read more>>
Maggie xUE
I developed my confidence and self-esteem by failing, trying, and doing the things I was not familiar with and was afraid of. I think as I try to figure things out and solve problems during these processes, it really made me realize that you can always find a way to overcome challenges in my life. Read more>>
Tasha Wilson
Life experiences tainted my perspective of the relationship dynamic between confidence and self-esteem. Perpetual trauma was a constant theme in my life, which consumed my entire existence. In essence, trauma became my identity. I was once a shy, withdrawn, guarded girl who allowed brokenness to serve as a navigation tool in how I showed up in the world. I was a people pleaser who overextended myself to make everyone else happy and comfortable, while minimizing my own needs and ignoring my boundaries. I believed that I deserved to be loved conditionally and accepted the bare minimum from others. As a sexual assault survivor, I viewed myself as damaged goods. I became my worst enemy. Read more>>
Lynne Wilson Jenkins
My parents always affirmed and confirmed that I was loved & special, so being self-confident came natural to me. I was always a “curvy” child, but I never let the name-calling & fat-shaming stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Having a healthy self-esteem was instilled in me from birth. Read more>>
Nick Pinelli
For a very large portion of my life, I never wanted more than I had. I felt I was going through the motions in high school, I had relatively good grades, and a good amount of friends, but the one thing I was missing was my passion. At at the time, I was in a theatre program at school. I wouldn’t exactly say it was what I loved to do, but of all the things I did, it gave me the most joy… not passion. When it was time to leave high school, I had a choice to make- should I purse this as a career or do the smart thing and pursue anything else. I chose poorly – again mostly because I didn’t see myself doing anything else. Read more>>
Luv Blue
I am still developing my confidence and self esteem. The more I allow myself the opportunity to grow, to learn, to not have to be right, the better and more comfortable I feel in my skin. Over the years, I have come to realize that true self esteem and confidence couldn’t come from outside of me. I would never be able to do enough or be “perfect” in my execution of whatever the role or task, to please everyone and receive the validation I at one time, was feeling I needed. I had to firstly get clear about how I was valuing myself and really who I was. Once I began asking these questions, I began to observe myself taking action, “kind” action, from a place of fear. I would worry about peoples judgements and feelings about my no, and I would judge myself so harshly for even considering saying no, so much so, that often, my no wasn’t honored, regardless of what my body or budget called for. I was so busy wearing who I thought I should be instead of being me. For a time, I had lost site of who I truly was. Like most, I made my occupation my identity and so, if someone or something challenged that, I became defensive, unnerved, and unearthed, fighting to hold onto to what I thought was me. Read more>>
Clarissa Maldonado
I’ve learned to develop my confidence and self esteem by telling myself to focus on ME. If I continued to focus more on others vs myself I know I would just distract myself from ever getting better at what I’m trying to do or achieve in the end. Everyday telling myself that I’m the best at what I do gives me that extra confidence, that we all need! The more you focus on you and your skill you will only get better & along comes that confidence & self esteem. Read more>>
Cassandra Gallegos
I’ve been fortunate to have a supportive family that have challenged and encouraged me throughout my entire life. In my younger days it was my family and sports that gave me the foundation to my confidence and unlocked my self esteem. In my thirties, it has been my 9 years as a leader within my fitness community that have carried on the work. Bridging the gap between what I have proven my body can physically do while also strengthening my mental health has given me the confidence I’ve needed to do anything. It is what helped me pick up a camera and make the decision to follow a new path even if it meant being terrible at it. Read more>>
Myron Malone
One day I was watching this podcast and the guest was Diamond Dallas Page, an icon of the business. During the interview he gives a quote. “ The repetition of affirmation leads to belief, and when that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. “ I heard it and at first I thought, “bro what does that even mean?” But as time when on I began to understand it more. You have to tell yourself you can do something until you believe it. When you believe it, you keep going until you know you can do it and then everything will fall in place. So everyday instead of filling my brain with negative affirmations, I tell myself the truth. I’m that guy and everything I want will be mine one day. Read more>>
Jamaal Matters
I developed my confidence and self-esteem by focusing on my talents and gifts. When I was in elementary school, my peers would make fun of my accent and how slow I talked. Once I perfected my craft as a hip hop artist, everyone praised me for having a powerful voice that blended so well with the instruments. It’s funny how putting effort into your gifts can turn what some call a weakness into your strength. Read more>>
Susie Quiroz
Like nearly everyone who has had to overcome something, this particular issue was definitely a journey. There was plenty of self-loathing, depression, and hatred toward my own body. I became physically disabled at 11 years old. After surviving an accident that left me with a traumatic brain injury, my body and mind became a broken shell I was forced to continue operating in. I entered my teenage years with a hand that could hardly uncurl the fingers attached to it and an exaggerated limp that made walking extremely difficult. Memory loss and learning disabilities were a part of the package, as well. School and reading, two things I once tackled like a breeze, were suddenly significant challenges for me that caused me to question my competence, and even my own worth. By age 17, I was confined to a leg brace that I would wear forever in order to walk. Read more>>
Elisheva Pierce
I think that my self-confidence comes from learning very early on that no one else is going to validate me, so I must validate myself. My opinion of myself matters the most, so I might as well have amazing opinions of myself. Self-confidence and self-love are vital in how we treat others and how well we relate with others. Also, I’ve decided to face my fears and to not be afraid of the opinions of others. Read more>>
Timmie Standridge
Developing confidence and self-esteem is a continuous process, involving several factors, factors that I still work on to this day. Years ago, I felt very lost and unsure of myself. I did not feel confident in my body or in my place in life. I knew I wanted and needed a challenge. The first thing I tackled was my physical body. I knew this was a step I could take action on immediately. I entered into a body building competition, I hired a personal trainer and a coach. I trained hard for 365 days, I stopped going out late at night, I focused on my nutrition. My personal fitness journey is quite literally what changed everything else that followed. By setting and achieving my own fitness goals, I experienced firsthand the challenges and triumphs that come with pursuing a healthy lifestyle. After making these changes in my habits, I decided I wanted to become a coach too. I obtained the necessary education and certification in exercise science and personal training, which also helped to boost my confidence and self-esteem. The knowledge I gained gave me a solid foundation to provide guidance to my clients. Working with different individuals, each with their own unique challenges and goals, has allowed me to refine my skills and strategies. This has reaffirmed my abilities and in this service to others continued to validate my purpose. Read more>>
Shantel Hansbrough
My true answer to this question is, Gods love and his intentionality when it comes to me. God used my early 20’s to help me see myself the way He see’s me. I meditated on the scripture Pslams 139:14, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvelous are your works and my soul knows it well.” Overtime that scripture has provided me plenty revelation on the boldness and sureness inside of me. Having confidence that God created me in his image and instilled such a foundation of his glory allowed that to have a trinkle effect in other areas of my life. Read more>>
Em Persico
After graduating with a BA in Cinema from San Francisco State University, I came back home to SoCal without much confidence in myself. I was severely depressed in my final year of college struggling with my gender identity, my fear of not being able to make a living with an arts degree, and feeling overwhelmed by the task of finishing all my classes to graduate. The year after graduating I moved back home to the Los Angeles area, got gender affirming Top Surgery, and had to figure out what I was going to do without Higher Education to give me purpose. Read more>>
Marnette Patterson
As a second generation LA native, I grew up around the entertainment industry. My grandparents actually met in the commissary at RKO Studios which is now the Paramount Pictures Studio lot. My aunt was an actress and worked with James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor and my grandfather was a singer on Broadway. But there is another side of Hollywood, behind what you see. As much as I had fond memories of growing up in front of the camera there was still a lot of rejection. I came from a single parent home and we relied on my income as well. At times it was difficult. However, my mom always instilled a great amount of self worth and self esteem which helped tremendously. It was only my mom, aunt and grandma in my entire family and we had to figure out how to survive without anyone else to hold onto. Read more>>
Savannah Rose Johnson, BA, CLC, RTT.P.
It’s been a process. I’ve struggled with self-worth, my inner critic, and learning what true confidence is. Once I learned the linguistic meaning of the word “confidence” is having full loyalty to yourself, it changed my relationship with confidence itself. I feel confidence is often misconstrued as arrogance or thinking you’re better than other people. This is false confidence. Learning what my values are, how to listen to my intuition, learning to value myself and what I bring to the table, has allowed me to honor who I am and walk in my truth. In doing this, I feel I have achieved confidence because it’s not merely something that you have or do not have; confidence is showing up for yourself and not apologizing for your authenticity. Read more>>
Andrea Kentebe
I wasn’t always so confident. Growing up I was super skinny, nerdy and awkward. I was made fun of in school for having natural hair and being Nigerian. Kids were really mean to me. High school was especially hard. I came back from Nigeria and started at an all girls Catholic high school as a sophomore. Everyone already had friend groups and had joined sports teams so I felt really lonely. A few older girls took me under their wing and I was able to finally start making some friends. That is when my confidence started growing. Once I went to college though, my confidence went through the roof. I was able to find my own sense of style, explore who I am, and become independent. My first real burst of confidence came when a designer friend of mine, Braisha Owens, asked me to model for her clothing line. Her line, Kissed by BO, gave me my first real modeling opportunity. The very first runway show we did was such a rush! I felt like a celebrity walking out with all eyes on me. After that, you couldn’t stop me from getting on a runway or in front of a camera. Modeling helped me so much. I am forever grateful to Braisha for giving me my start too. Read more>>
