Inevitably you will find yourself in a room where no one else is like you. They might not look like you, speak like you, pray or love like you or think like you. Managing to be effective in all contexts is an essential part of your journey towards reaching your full potential and so we asked some brilliant members of the community to share their stories and advice.
Jonathan Pitallo
I have learned that I like to make the uncomfortable, comfortable and dive head first in any situation knowing there’s always a solution. My family from both sides originated from Mexico and migrated here in the early 2000’s. I was the first generation to be born here in US from family. First enrolled in school, first to speak both English & Spanish fluently, first to graduate high school. Many firsts without having a family member that has been down that path before. Read more>>
Loudes De La Mata Little
I believe in staying sharp and on top of my game. Continuously learning gives me a sense of confidence and lets the anxiety fade into the background. This is an attitude I’ve built up over a long career. When it’s in my arena, I speak with confidence, I’m honest and true in what I say, and I have a reputation as a quick learner and hard worker. This is the space that I own. Read more>>
Elizabeth Kessler Medrano
Being the only one in the room has been both a challenge and an opportunity for growth. I’ve learned to be effective by embracing the unique position I hold in the hydroponic microgreens and produce industry. As a female microgreens farmer, I’ve navigated through different phases of growth, from mastering the fundamentals to staying ahead by continuously educating myself on the latest trends and technologies. Read more>>
Cortney Wade
Being in the entertainment/production world working on so many different production sets, there have been plenty of instances where I am the only one in the room that looks like me. But I never allow that to dull my sparkle. There was a time I used to shrink myself and felt like I didn’t have good ideas to offer, but that was the farthest thing from the truth! “Your gifts will always make room for you no matter what room you are in.” Read more>>
Ken West
As the only one in the room who looks like me, I’ve learned to own my identity and embrace my uniqueness. I don’t try to conform to others, because my perspective is valuable specifically because of my experiences and background. To be effective, I prepare and educate myself, staying informed and knowledgeable about the topics at hand. This helps me confidently contribute to discussions and decisions. I’ve also found allies and mentors who offer guidance and encouragement, even if they don’t share my same background. Read more>>
Christian Bruni
Surely if you have a set goal that you want to achieve it motivates you to continue. Without it you are lost and most likely you abandon the project itself.
Sometimes it is not easy because you are surrounded by many distractions. Phone notifications, work emails, fear of failure, low self-esteem in your abilities, negative thoughts. But with the right constant practice of not being fooled by these distractions and focusing on the goal you can achieve what you set out to do at the start. But above all ask yourself why you are doing all this. If you have the passion nothing can stop it. Read more>>
India Pearson
Being the only one in the room that looks like me has been both a challenge and an opportunity. Over time, I’ve learned to embrace and harness my uniqueness as a source of strength. I bring my personal magic—my identity, my vibrant personality, and my ever-present smile—into every space I enter. Read more>>
Zuleyka Ayala
Being BOLD, cliche I know. I’ve learned to stay true to who I am and to show up even when my fear creeps up on me. Over the years, I have learned to be in front of the camera. For so long, I would be behind the scene and praise those in front of the lens not realizing that I was dimming my own light. Not until I realize that I am the brand entering the workplace. That the employer is in need of my expertise and what I bring to the table. Cause’ if they didn’t, they wouldn’t have reached out. I’ve also learned to make space for others after me. Remembering the honor and privilege in empowering like-minded individuals. Read more>>
Raven Taylor
Being the only person in the room that looks like me, or “the token” as some may say, can be challenging and intimidating at times. The best way I have found to be successful in a situation like that is to be confident in who you are and in your skills and know what you bring to the table. As an artist/creative I know I am very good at what I do. I know my worth and I own it. Read more>>
Samuel Cardine
I’ve learned to be effective and successful by embracing authenticity and staying true to myself, especially when I’m the only one in the room who looks like me. There were times when I followed the expectations and dreams of others, which took me away from who I truly am. Those experiences taught me how important it is to pursue what genuinely matters to me, no matter how different I may seem. When I’m in a room where I stand out, being true to myself becomes even more powerful. Read more>>
Kathy Biehl
I have found myself in this situation many times. This pattern may have had an influence on my generally doing things for my own purposes instead of for outside validation or reward. I have learned, often through crushing disappointment, that outer reward is elusive. It often has nothing to do with my performance or skills. I can’t control it. If it comes, great; if not, well, no matter, if I did something important to me, or that furthers a personal goal. Read more>>
Jeremy Mcguigan
I believe my initial lack of experience actually worked to my advantage. When I decided to become a professional DJ, I had only a bit of experience from several years prior at a popular country line dance club in Reno. I was familiar with the basics of mixing music, but I had no idea how this would translate to a wedding setting—and it didn’t. Read more>>
Janaya Black
Due to the fact that I am an introvert by nature, I had to learn to develop a process for motivating myself to step outside of my comfort zone. So when I became a full-time author, I started telling myself that “closed mouths don’t get fed”, and that became my motivation to start being more engaging when in a room full of strangers who may, or may not, look like me in order to network and build relationships. Read more>>
Stacey Harris
My journey as an author and diabetes advocate has often placed me in rooms where I am the only African-American woman present. These experiences, while sometimes daunting, have also been profoundly empowering and have taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, authenticity and leadership. Read more>>
Nicole Tsong
As a child, I was always the only one who looked like me. Back then, I coped by being quiet. I never wanted to draw attention to myself. Even when I became a journalist, I chose newspaper reporting, where I could remain hidden behind the byline, rather than taking center stage on camera. But when I made a major career pivot from journalism to teaching yoga, I had to confront my tendency to hide. When you are the one standing at the front of the room teaching the class, it requires you to understand who you are and stand in your authenticity in a totally different way. Read more>>
Raheem Jarbo
I used to be afraid of it but now it’s my superpower. I’m very proud to be able to bring where I come from, my experiences and my skillset into a room. So I make sure to make the most of it! Read more>>
Tierra Robertson
I think most of us take being the only one in the room as a challenge to overcome, but I don’t. I want whoever the majority is to be aware of my presence as much as I am. I am aware of the space I fill and I enjoy it. I want others to share the space, but I also understand I am not responsible for how they share the experience. There’s a lot to be learned in that space though. When you enter the room, and you immediately become aware of the difference or separation, you almost subconsciously “police” yourself. Read more>>
Caleb Brookman
When I recognized that… I’m in the room. The very fact that I’m there means I’m just as qualified as the next person. Beyond how you look, or where you come from, comes the actual skills necessary to be there in the first place. Moreover, it’s also remaining confident and trusting (while also improving) in the process that got you there. If you’re stressing the acceptance of others, you’ll more than likely be exiting the room sooner than you think. Read more>>
Lauren Munar Aka Wahine
As an Asian female DJ, I am often faced with being the only person in the room representing in the club/events space. It has been a challenge throughout my career, but I focus heavily on showing up as my whole authentic self, with all of my values intact. In moments when I might feel pressured to show up differently to fit in, I remind myself that I am there to represent other Asians and other women in the scene, and all that we have to contribute creatively that is unique and different from whatever might already be represented. Read more>>
Katisha Jallow
Navigating spaces where I’m often the only one who looks like me has been both a challenge which became a unique strength, especially when I was in the military, practicing mental health advocacy and now in the music business, To be effective and successful in these situations, I’ve embraced three key strategies: adaptability, strategic relationship-building, and leveraging my individuality as a strength. Read more>>
Trena Myers
Being the only one in the room that looks like you, whether due to a rare disease or any other unique characteristic, can indeed be challenging. However, it also provides an opportunity to develop resilience, adaptability, and a unique perspective that can be incredibly valuable. Read more>>
Giovanni Junor
The most important mindset to keep in a situation where you’re the only one looking or being unique is to use that to your advantage, particularly in business. That mindset is what helps you stand out and be more successful, whether you’re making a sale or even making a small interaction with another person. Read more>>
Jaine Ye
Being the only one in the room can feel extremely challenging, intimidating, and reinforce imposter syndrome. It is something that I’ve always had a complex relationship with. I am a transracial, transnational adoptee. I was born in South Korea, adopted as an infant to two white American parents from the midwest. I was raised in the PNW, and though not the only non-white person in my small town, there were definitely comments ranging from the shape of my eyes and nose to whether or not I knew how to speak Korean, to strangers genuinely telling me that my English was “very good”. Read more>>
Donna Bucher
Today I own every room I walk into even though I may be the only one there like me. But it wasn’t always that way. Often feeling like an outsider growing up, I lingered on the margins of groups. No doubt childhood neglect and abuse contributed to my reticence, but there is more than one way to feel like you are the only person in the room like you. Read more>>
Nancy Martinez
Being the only one in the room that looks like me has taught me that I deserve to be in those spaces. Knowing that you were selected because of your knowledge or expertise helps to be in these spaces. I am a big believer of teamwork, I believe that in order to be successful one must work with others. We cannot be an island of knowing everything. I try to keep that in the front of my mind as I am in these rooms. Read more>>
Jeremiah Davis
Purposes not biased. I have leaned to master captivating people with the future. The future belongs to everyone. I want everyone to be able to achieve and conquer what they were born to do despite their narrative. Read more>>
Tasha Gray
When I first got into real estate I really struggled with finding my footing and confidence within the industry. I definitely do not look like most female realtors in the industry. I’m a little funky, full of color and love! I joined the women’s council of realtors to help me find other women to connect with. It was tough at first because I couldn’t afford some of the fancier real estate things and like I shared, I am a little funky! This is where I really learned to lean into the confidence of my own skills and ability to adapt and learn and grow! I joined the women’s council in 2021 to now be the 2024 President! Read more>>
Sammy Ramirez
I’ve always been very proud of being a first generation Mexican-American. My parents came from Mexico with nothing and instilled values in my family that I live by wholeheartedly. After high school graduation, I left the North Side of Fort Worth, Texas to San Marcos, Texas to attend Texas State University and became a the first in my family to attend a four year university. It was a cultural shock. I left an area where everyone looked like me and had a similar story to mine to a place where I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there. Read more>>
Ken Elliott
As a landscape artist, I’m aware of the hundreds of years of very good artists that came before me. There is also the realization that there is nothing new under the sun. That may or may not be absolutely true, but it is extremely difficult to invent the artistic equivalent of a new fork or spoon. Read more>>
Amee Lind
I have taken a journey as a hairstylist in order to get me where I am today. I started off as a part-time receptionist and trainee to booth renting to commission and now I own my own studio with my very first employee. My dream is to open my own studio building to empower other women that they can run their own business and be their own boss while making a dream income. Read more>>
Kelly Williams
This is an excellent question for a corrective exercise specialist. We often stand out in a room full of health and wellness professionals. If you ask someone, “Do you know what a corrective exercise specialist does?” most of the time, the answer will be no. Read more>>
Rebecca Patterson
Being the only one who looks a certain way is tough. This is something I was hyper aware of when I started, especially throughout high school and college. As I got used to this, I stopped thinking about as much. However at the end of almost every performance I do, it’s increasingly rare that it isn’t commented on by an audience member. I didn’t and still don’t always know how to take these comments. As I’ve had the opportunity to interact with more audiences and have a better understanding of their perspective, it has become clear that generally speaking, people love seeing diversity in a band. Read more>>
Ruth Anne Kramer
There have been countless times when I have been the only one in the room who looks like me. I have learned how to be effective and to thrive through the challenges I faced and discovered the lessons learned in those situations. Each time I’ve shown up, I’ve grown stronger. I realized my limitation of believing I did not belong there was getting in my way. I have been a female company commander in the Army of a combined 200 Soldiers and Civilian employees while deployed to Iraq in a male-dominated environment. I have been employed as a social worker in diverse environments such as Washington, D.C., El Paso, Texas, and Hawaii. Read more>>
Zosia Garcia Sledzinska
You know how they say you’re replaceable? Well, I disagree 100% with that statement. You might find someone else to do the job, but you’re never going to get me. I’m a woman, I’m gay, and I’m Mexican. I’m definitely a minority in this country, but that is exactly what makes me powerful and how I stand out. People may look at you because they want you to fail, but while they’re watching, you show them all the good things you have. Read more>>
Alicia J Moore
One day I presented a proposal to my all-male colleagues on the Executive team. I pitched starting a patent capture program, with a full budget, ROI, and roll-out date to start 6 months later. The CEO asked why we were delaying the start date. I looked down at my 8 1/2 month pregnant belly, and said “Um, I’m leaving tomorrow for maternity leave?”. Read more>>
Abigail White
This is a great question, but it hurts my heart a bit that it even has to be asked here in 2024. Still to this day I find myself the only one or one of two black women in the room or at the table and while I am not perfect at being the only one in the room or at the table, as the case may be, I do celebrate every day that I continue to show up and that I continue to take up space, something many have told me not to do. Read more>>
Yaser Salamah
This is something I speak often about with my friends of color. We all do it–we walk into a room, look around, and count. How many of us are there? I generalize as “people of color” here because I have almost never *not* been the only Arab in a room. Unless it’s an Arab or Muslim-run event, I am usually the only, or one of two, Arabs in a room. And I’m sure that many people of color, regardless of ethnicity, will relate. There’s an added pressure when it’s just you. I’ve described it before that I feel like I have to represent my whole people when I enter a space. Read more>>
Cory Scurlock
Being red haired I learned pretty early in life that I stand out. Attention is something I got used to because people are curious. Perhaps this prepared me for my career because I wasn’t afraid going into a higher level circles asking for a seat at the table. Negotiating with C-suite executives, many who in the beginning were reluctant to talk to me, quickly taught me; if you draw attention you better have something important to say. Read more>>
Trey Sanders
Being the only one in the room who looks like me has often come with challenges, particularly in an industry where African Americans have historically been gatekept out of positions of authority. I’ve faced moments of imposter syndrome, questioning whether I truly belonged in these spaces. But over time, I’ve come to realize that my background, my extensive experience in the music industry, and my upbringing uniquely position me to contribute in ways that others simply can’t. Read more>>
Caroline Donica
I grew up as a transracial Korean American adoptee in East Texas, so there was no one in any room that looked like me other than my siblings. As an artist, I was told that I would never make it because I was Asian and short. As a woman, I faced resistance when I was placed in leadership positions. Read more>>
Dr. Angie Bee
When I first removed my wig and entered a restaurant, I was the only bald person in the establishment. As I felt the air conditioning run across the top of my head, a shiver went down my spine; will everyone point and stare at me? Will the questions be directed towards me: “Is it cancer?” “Where is your hair?” I just wanted to eat a meal and not become a “teaching moment”. Read more>>
