How did you develop your confidence and self-esteem?

Confidence can open doors and is at the heart of so many amazing success stories across industries and disciplines and so we’ve always been interested in learning how we can help our readers and community members increase their confidence and self-esteem. Below, you’ll find highlights of some of the great conversations we’ve had on this topic.

Jane Purnell

By giving myself permission to make mistakes– and then learning from those mistakes. It’s brave to fail and then decide to keep going. And bravery is something to always feel confident about. Whether I make a mistake doing something I’m new to or experienced at, I use it as an opportunity to learn and do better next time. For example, I used to pick apart my acting so severely that it crushed my confidence and self-esteem (and sometimes I still do). However, I eventually realized that something needed to change if I wanted to continue this career because being unhappy with myself and my art is not sustainable in the long term. So, I’ve become pretty ruthless in processing my weaknesses, learning from them, and just moving forward without a second thought. Read more>>

Lumalia Armstrong

Being in my body has always been the secret to my self-confidence. The moment I’m drawn into my mind, overthinking, imagining a future that isn’t working out for my good, or thinking I live in a world that is against me, is the moment I slip out of confidence. Growing up, I was a gymnast and dancer. I loved choreographing and even choreographed some student productions in middle and high school. So it’s no surprise that now I’m a women’s empowerment movement facilitator and photographer. I’ve loved creating spaces for others to feel good in their bodies ever since I realized how good I could feel in mine, even when I was battling chronic illnesses and depression. Read more>>

Rebecca Mcbride

My confidence and self-esteem were developed through action. I’ve been writing songs for years, but I questioned every detail and decision. I thought my artist debut needed to be written, performed, and marketed perfectly. Then, I realized that no one does anything perfectly the first time and that all I needed to do was move in the direction of my goal. Once I started taking risks and action, I proved to myself that I am capable and in control of my future. Read more>>

Neesh Riaz

To put it simply: conditioning. I truly believe we are the products of what happens to us, and that, to an extent, “what” happens to us is within our control. The “what” can be anything: trauma, triumph, chaos, or most importantly… our thoughts. Our thoughts condition our physical and mental faculties more intensely than any other factor. In fact, our thoughts are so powerful they can even override thousands of years of genetic self-preservation. On the other hand, they are also our greatest tool for building confidence. I’d like to share the journey—from a retrospective lens—that led to mastering confidence and self-esteem. Read more>>

Sabrina Dieurestil

I built my confidence by attending various classes and learning different techniques that shaped me into the hairstylist I am today. Initially, I struggled with self-assurance in my work, but with practice, I’ve learned to look at my creations and say, “You did a great job.” This isn’t about being cocky; it’s about recognizing my growth. Read more>>

Alison Reitsma

I have always been creative, wether it be through painting, thrifting furniture pieces and redoing them, cooking and baking, dance and movement experimenting with different mediums. As a child I would do any craft I could get my hands on. Painting, sewing and jewelry were favorites. I was always very shy, and I found that communicating through creativity boosted my self-confidence. I was a decent student, but I found myself turning most assignments into art projects. If it was a math project, I’d paint the most beautiful geometric shapes or graphs, if it was a science project, I’d paint a picture of some sort of flora and fauna and label each part. If it was a book report, I’d make a 3D diorama of a scene in the book that stuck with me. Even my class notes were sprinkled with drawings and colorful words. Read more>>

Vechenko Noel

Well I develop my confidence in Secondary school. I went Malick Secondary Comprehensive School and i was in form four where I discovered that I had a talent in beatbox and a lot of students were festinated by the my skill that everyone believe I would be a superstar one day. I would always try to perfect it everyday and then my other friends would Changallge me to other skills like singing and rapping I would Try and learn and show it off to my friends. i alway like to prove myself and others that i can do it. Read more>>

Bronwyn Davis

My journey towards developing confidence and self-esteem stands as a testament to the power of introspection, healing, and the pioneering use of therapeutic ketamine. My path was not linear; it was a journey that took me through the depths of personal challenges and into the realm of profound self-discovery. As a Success Coach for more than 25 years, I was accustomed to empowering others, yet I found myself facing my own battle with burnout and mental health issues. This period of my life was a test of my resilience, pushing me to the brink of my limits. Read more>>

Jessie Delaney

Developing a sense of confidence and self esteem is a different story for every individual. Whether its feeling confident in your own skin, knowing who you are as a person, connecting with others while feeling strong enough to be your authentic self. For me, this is something that has grown in each year of my life. Post college, i didn’t have the confidence to chase my dream immediately. I followed a path i thought was what was expected of me, not what i wanted. I worked a corporate job and was miserable, with a goal in mind to one day own my own esthetics business. It took me dedicating time in my life living unauthentically to realize i needed to chase my own dream, not live a life based on what my peers were doing. Read more>>

Brittany Taborn

Honestly, being healed through the power of the Lord Jesus Christ. Really taking the time to do the things needed to be done mentally and emotionally gave me the ability to fully push through all the pain and hurt from the traumatic experiences. That gave me my confidence and my self esteem through my identity in Christ through faith, obedience, dedication and belief is what allowed me to be restored from what I lost from my past. Read more>>

Danny P.

My confidence came from knowing that I could if I wanted to. Growing up, I used to see things that inspired me or motivated me and once I tried and was successful I knew in my mind that if I continued, I could really be GREAT at what ever it was I put my mind to. Read more>>

Laura Blue

That’s a really good question ! If you asked me 5 years ago to rate my self confidence level on a scale of 1 to 10 when I started my job as a photographer, I would have said 3/10. I knew I wanted to become my own boss, start my own business, find clients, make money and live from my passion but at that stage I had no self-esteem and confidence because I had no experience in the profession.I hadn’t learned at shcool how to start a business and even if I had a few years of practice in photography, I had not found my own style yet and I just didn’t know how to become someone in this huge jungle of entrepreneurs! Read more>>

Deb Gray

It has been a journey! Growing up in a culture that defines your “worth” in how you look and what you do, gave me a lot of challenges to recognize and overcome. There have been some VERY hard times, but through these times I learned a lot! First of all, I am stubborn, which has been a benefit in growing. When a challenge presented itself, I hit it head on. Most of the time this did not feel very good, but I learned about me and why I reacted or felt. Digging inside and being willing to see who I am and grow for the better. Life situations can be hard but persevering is not an option! Life has changed a lot and so have I. Be willing to see thing through different eyes and grow. Read more>>

Ty-zha Linton

Growing up in the Bronx, NY, I was far from confident. As a young Black girl in a low-income household, I always felt out of place. I wasn’t sure who I was, but I knew I didn’t want to be the person I was at that moment. I wanted to be anyone else—someone who fit in, who wasn’t limited by my environment or circumstances. I followed trends blindly, mimicking others, hoping that by doing so, I could erase the feelings of not being good enough. Read more>>

Joely Hackmann

When building confidence and self esteem as a photographer, or in any creative field it’s a journey that involves overcoming self-doubt and learning to trust your own vision and abilities. How I navigated confidence and self esteem was embracing your unique style and voice, practicing, getting constructive feedback, set and achieve small goals, learn to handle criticism and rejection, celebrate success, build a supportive group of friends, step outside your comfort zone, and finally believe in yourself. Overall building confidence as a photographer is ongoing and is rooted in self reflection, perseverance, and open mindset towards growth. It’s not about achieving perfection, but learning to trust in your journey and your own expression. Read more>>

Mercedes Hernandez

I feel I have earned my confidence through life experience and it’s true as you get older you really get to feel those insecurities that are so ingrained when your young, those start to melt away with age. Don’t get me wrong I still have my moments, but I see so many things that are more important in my life and that I’m more important than what those insecurities are. I am a mother, wife, an autism advocate for my sons, and a domestic abuse survivor. I believe all of these things whether good or bad have transformed me into the strong confident and magical woman I am today. Read more>>

Morgan Tracy J.

Honestly, I still struggle with confidence and self-esteem. I’ve learned over the years, that it shouldn’t stop me from showing up, I can keep showing up and trying toward my dreams. I can’t wait to be the finished product to show up for my dreams and goals, I can embrace the journey and watch myself blossom into that person. Read more>>

Ria Bhatt

Building confidence and self-esteem in my professional life has been an ongoing journey that required time and practice, and I think that is common for those of us who are often the “only” in a room. The path to confidence looks different for everyone, but for me, it has certainly grown the longer I’ve been in my field. Now that I’ve been in my sector for 20 years, I feel secure in my strengths and expertise, while also being at peace with not having all the answers. Read more>>

Roberto Luca

I developed confidence and self-esteem through a long journey of transformation during my incarceration and beyond. At 16, I entered juvenile hall burdened with pain, anger, shame, and regret, conforming to the culture of jail to mask my vulnerabilities. Over time, I began to understand the human traits we all carry, flawed and shaped by our struggles to survive. I decided to be different. Shaped by the love in my heart. Read more>>

Bih Bikelle

Confidence is faithing the belief in your abilities, skills, and judgment. It’s trusting yourself to
handle life’s challenges, make decisions, and pursue goals, even when the outcome is
uncertain. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is exuding your overall sense of self-worth. With
each layer of my mind, body, and soul I take daily steps in valuing myself by recognizing my
intrinsic worth as a person—regardless of external achievements or opinions.
Building both didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a journey of growth, setbacks, and self-
discovery—especially as I transitioned from Cameroon to the U.S. Let me share (3) principles in
how I built my confidence and self-esteem, and how you can, too. Read more>>

Jess Brownsberger

Being a mom honestly gave me the most confidence in the world… I figured if I can bring a human earthside, I can do anything! I’m complimented often on how well I handle 3 kids and the one thing I’ve learned is that If you act like you know what you’re doing, people believe you. All my days are not perfect with three kids – there are tantrums, a lot of crying, and it’s truly chaos 75% of the time… but I try to find little things throughout my day to boost my mood in those moments that I know won’t last forever. Read more>>

Eric Rush

I didn’t start out with confidence or a clear path forward. My story began in survival mode—facing the challenges of a turbulent childhood, the intensity of combat, and even time in prison. For a long time, I lived without purpose, struggling to make sense of the adversity I was dealt. But everything changed the moment I realized my way of living wasn’t working. I needed to find something more—a true sense of purpose. I looked to people who embodied spiritual richness and authentic success, hoping to understand the strength they carried. Read more>>

Emanuel Griffin

I battled alot with my self image and would always compare my accomplishment against what others have done until I reconnected with God and found my identity in christ. Read more>>

Monica J Martinez

I was JUST asked this question by a good friend who is a therapist so I decided to dive deeper into this. I can only speak for myself and my journey but this is how it evolved… Be observant: I started to notice my anger, my shame, my embarrassment, my attitude, my judgment etc. Be curious: I then started to ask myself WHY…why am I feeling this way? Why do I judge others? Why does everything have to be perfect? Why am I so hard on myself? Why am I so hard on others? Research: This lead me to read books, watch movies, and speak to others and continue asking questions. Read more>>

Bella Monzo

Hey there, and thank you for having me! There are many moments in my life where I can point to the development of my confidence and self-esteem. Still, one of the most significant early on was shaped by my experience with my physical well-being through my younger years, including a journey with juvenile idiopathic arthritis (JIA), which I was diagnosed with around seven years old. JIA is an autoimmune disease where the body attacks its tissues, particularly in the joints. For me, it meant random joint swelling, body aches, and constant fatigue. Read more>>

Quinn Arnau

Confidence and self esteem is something that a person must consistently build. Just like physical health, confidence and self esteem is something that is achieved through consistent efforts over time. Understanding that circumstances are not always ideal and focusing on making the next, best decision helps to keep me on a healthy path. I have found over the years that during times of stress you are often learning the most important lessons. Because not every day can be a sunny one, keeping perspective and practicing gratitude can help you keep a positive outlook which can enable you to help others. If you feel like you are having a bad day a great way to turn things around is to encourage others. Read more>>

Victoria Kay

Confidence was always something I struggled with growing up. I saw it as a trait that I simply didn’t possess. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized confidence is not a trait but rather a skill, and skills can be worked on and developed over time. So I started listening to affirmations daily, meditating whenever I could find the time, and changed how I talked to myself. I can be a vicious and harsh self critic. But I made it a rule that I cannot talk badly about myself whether that be out loud or in my head. I stopped partaking in self deprecating jokes or making snide remarks about myself. In the beginning it was challenging, anytime I began to beat myself up or talk badly about myself I would often have to catch myself mid sentence and actively choose self compassion. Read more>>

Jaede Bayala

I’m constantly working on building my confidence. As an artist, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others and feeling like you’re not good enough. Over time, I’ve learned to focus on appreciating my own growth and celebrating every accomplishment, no matter how big or small. I also make it a point to stay excited about my work. If I ever lose that excitement, I ask myself what changes I can make to reignite it. There will always be ups and downs, but I’ve realized that the key is not to let the downs linger for too long. Read more>>

Dethcaps

Kalena: It took years of personal growth in understanding that I am truly 1 of 1, and I need to be authentically myself in every aspect of my life. With that, I also learned that self confidence is a journey and not a destination. I am constantly growing and changing in hopes to be a better version of myself inside and out. Though I do have my moments of insecurity, I do feel like my self confidence shines through because I have a true love for myself and who I’ve become. A quote that has carried me thus far, “You were born with you, you’re going to die with you, so you need to love you.”  Read more>>

Delaney Daveler

Honestly, this took me a little longer than I would like to admit. When I was younger I always had this “only-child” level of confidence behind me – then high school kicked me on my butt! I have always tried to remain true to me. I never cared what anyone was going to say about my outfit choice or if I wanted to wear my Hannah Montana clip-in hair extensions I just got for Christmas! It’s really hard to not to care what people think sometimes, but when you let go of trying to be everyone’s cup of tea, it does help! There’s always people that will make fun of you, but most of them are projecting their insecurities onto you! Read more>>

Jennapple

I struggled with obesity from a very young age. Onset a hair pulling disease that left me bald, as well… so I didn’t really catch any eyes until probably my 20’s when I lost weight and stopped pulling my hair out. I have spent many years working very hard on myself, my mind, heart, and body. I know how hard I have worked and the glow up is real! I am more confident and better looking than I have been my whole life and I absolutely deserve to feel this way. Read more>>

Jasmine Pugh

Oh baby, its been a journey! Let’s start shall we: Growing up, I was bullied a lot. For silly reasons like: what shoes I wore, how I spoke, things I was interested in, how I dressed; and one that hurt the most, how I looked. I could get over people laughing at my Sketchers, K-Swiss and Reeboks; they’re shoes, who cared, as long as my feet were covered and protected, that’s all that mattered. Same sentiments applied to wearing regular brands instead of name brand clothes. If I had any, they were borrowed from a friend or only bought with my “birthday or holiday” money. But again, I didn’t care, I took pride in all my belongings because they were simply mine. Read more>>

Celinda De La Fuente

I developed my confidence and self-esteem by releasing the layers of projections placed upon me by the patriarchy, colonial influences, organized religion, antiquated societal norms, scarcity mindset, and the judgments of others that I had unknowingly accepted as my own. I let go of the limiting definitions that kept me boxed in, shedding the weight of how society pits women against one another. I no longer compare myself to anyone else; instead, I honor my unique journey. Read more>>

Emmanuel Alabi

Consistency, Discipline and Patience. A while ago my Mom shared a video with me that showed the 6 principles of success. Those 3 principles , consistency, discipline and patience, have help me develop confidence and a stronger self esteem. Doing something consistently allows you to work on that craft and improve yourself. Over time it becomes a habit and you become confident in your abilities. However in order to reach that point patience and discipline must be applied. Read more>>

Nikki Brianne

My confidence and self-esteem were cultivated through introspection and a deep sense of self-awareness. Growing up, I didn’t receive affirmations about my worth or guidance to develop confidence, but I always felt an innate awareness of who I was. I spent a lot of time alone, reflecting and reasoning through situations until I developed my own philosophy. This was born from recognizing that I thought differently from everyone around me—I had a natural inclination toward logic and sought measurable truths. Read more>>

Brie Boston

I invested in myself. Not just physically but mentally, spiritually, professionally, and emotionally as well. I decided what I wanted to be and what I didn’t and I made decisions based on those wants. Sometimes that meant doing something I didn’t want to do or that was boring. I got the fundamentals down and that made me love, respect, and value myself more. That made my confidence start to shine through and now it’s a natural thing for me to exude. Read more>>

Andre Kaden Black

Confidence and self-esteem are things I’ve developed over time, and it’s been a combination of intentional habits, personal challenges, and surrounding myself with the right people. For me, it started with embracing small victories. As an athlete, I learned that training for a triathlon or an IRONMAN isn’t about overnight success; it’s about consistency, discipline, and celebrating each milestone, whether it’s completing a long run or shaving a few seconds off my swim time. Read more>>

Stephania Saint Pierre

This is actually a really great question because it is at the heart of the message that I speak to women about. Ironically enough I’ve battled with low self esteem, confidence and self doubt from the time I was a little girl. In my early childhood development although my father was in the home and provided for the family he wasn’t present emotionally and mentally in my life to create a true father-daughter bond . As a result of a lack of father’s love and affirmation and also being molested by a close family friend I couldn’t clearly see myself for who I was at my core. So naturally that created insecurities , low self worth and low self esteem deep down within me. I had a really poor view of myself and struggled to see my worth because I felt unworthy due to those painful experiences. Read more>>

Dennya Canales

I grew up with little confidence and self-esteem, and it took me a lot longer than I’d like to admit to gain and develop it. I was a timid kid (and still am now) and suffered from severe bullying which took a very high toll on my mental health and affected my confidence and self-esteem gravely. It wasn’t until high school and college I got my mental health up and started to feel my worth and value. I met my best friend and hermano when I first moved to high school, technically middle school but I only went for two months so it’s whatever, but he helped me a lot with my mental health and showed me that I was undervaluing myself. A year later, I met my baes! They are my world. My boyfriend also helped me a lot, he is my biggest supporter and makes me feel so confident. We’ve been dating since senior year! Read more>> 

J.r. Mason

If I’m being perfectly honest with myself… and you, as confidently as I have always presented to the outside world, I don’t know that my self-esteem and confidence have even fully developed yet – as an author or as a woman, period. I feel like it inconsistently ebbs and flows, and I’m certain I can’t possibly be alone here. Anyone visiting or following me on social media no doubt sees what they assume to be an extroverted author who has no problem cuttin’ up in front of the camera to garner public interest in her literary works.  Read more>>

Everett

For a lot of my life, until the age of seventeen or so, I think I tried to fit myself into a box that was too small for me. I grew up on the internet, so my idea of what was “cool” came directly from whatever the biggest YouTubers or celebrities were talking about that week. I think the idea of creating my own style was really daunting to me at the time because I was so scared of being outcasted, whether online or in real life. Putting myself in front of the world at such a young age, I didn’t have much time to define myself before others started doing it for me. Once that cycle of trend-following and mean comments continued, I realized that I wasn’t even receiving the validation I sought by following trends in the first place.  Read more>>

Jazmine Stephens

When it comes to me, I have to give thanks to God first because when I look back at the old “Jaz” I can honestly say I wasn’t this confident as I am now. Like any other person, I had a lot of insecurities and things that I had to do a lot of the inner work for. My confidence stems from a lot of things ,however, building my relationship with Jesus Christ has sealed the deal for me. How can I not be confident when God, himself, says that I’m more precious than jewels (Proverbs 31:10)?  Read more>>

Sam Fazio

I think that my creativity and art practice has always been what has pushed my sense of confidence and self esteem. Before I had art, I had dance. I began taking dance classes as a little kid (and still take ballet every week) and while dance taught me to be hard working to learn technique and choreography, it also encouraged a sense of silliness and experimentation. You can just listen to the music and move to it however feels right. Just try it out. That is where ideas come from! I try to apply this attitude of silliness and non judgement both to my everyday life, as well as my art practice. Just try it out. The most important thing is that you tried! Read more>>

Justin Revoner

I was raised by a single mom who always made sure my younger sister and I took pride in every part of our lives. She constantly reminded me of my worth and spoke affirmations over me almost every day—and she still does. My mom made it clear that no matter where I am or what I have, I matter. That’s something I’ve carried with me ever since. Read more>>

Sanaz Noori

I was born in Iran after revolution. Life has been so hard under Islamic republic specially for women. As a woman when you want to be yourself you should be so strong and fight with society and system. It was not easy for me as well! I had a dream to be an artist and work as an artist. I think moving to USA was a turning point to be myself. Although took years for me to stand up for myself and let my dream come through. But, in this path I cannot say I was alone. My husband was the one who support me and even sometimes pushed me to build up my self-esteem. Read more>>

Maya On Marz

Confidence and self-esteem didn’t come to me overnight—it was a process of rebellion against every voice, including my own, that told me I wasn’t enough. As an artist, I realized that the world didn’t need another cookie-cutter version of what was already out there; it needed me, raw and unapologetically myself. I embraced my flaws, my failures, and even the pain that shaped me because I knew those were the things that made my art real. I stopped waiting for permission to shine. Instead, I gave myself the green light and let my creativity run wild. Confidence came when I started owning my story-every heartbreak, every misstep, and every victory.  Read more>>

Yodeline Light

My confidence came when I began focusing on the plan that God had for me. There are many times I would have a dream or thought to start something, like a business or a podcast or a YouTube channel etc. and I would feel the fears associated with starting something new, but then when I did it anyway and stepped out in faith that’s when I was able to see God’s hand at work. When things go well and I began seeing progress my confidence in what I’m doing increases. Read more>>

Violeta Sofia

Growing up, I was incredibly fortunate to have supportive parents who nurtured my individuality and encouraged me to explore new things. They were always positive and empowering, creating an environment where I felt safe to be myself and dream big. Two mantras shaped my upbringing in profound ways. My dad would always remind me, *”You are a great woman, you are made for greatness,”* while my mom would always quote Philippians 4:13: *”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”* Read more>>

Louis Farace

Throughout my life I have consistently been hit with the question “Why don’t you talk?” I was always very introverted and would be the guy at a party who sat in the corner trying to hide. As far as art goes, I have been fairly confident in my skills for a bit, and when I started a new job doing art restoration, I feel like learning new techniques and painting a lot more really helped me progress. People would tell me they liked my work and that made me feel more confident. With music it was a similar process, but it took a lot longer. Read more>>

Quintara Tucker

I developed my confidence and self-esteem through a combination of self-reflection, perseverance, and surrounding myself with people who uplift and support me. I’ve always believed in the power of setting small, achievable goals and celebrating those milestones along the way, no matter how minor they might seem. Each success built my confidence and reminded me of my potential. Read more>>

Amaka Marchie

I had a lot of rejection therapy, before I even knew what it was called. I learned very early that closed mouths don’t get fed, so I was very vocal about what I wanted out of life. Not everyone was able to help me, but all I needed was one person to say yes. One person turns into two, then four. Before I knew it, I had so many people in my corner that spoke life into me and supported my ambitions. My community helped me believe in myself, and now I truly feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. Read more>>